


Duplicitous Hearts

by lisawolfe80



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-06-04 14:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 47,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6662500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisawolfe80/pseuds/lisawolfe80
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Duplicity, Deception, Deceit. Nothing is ever quite as it seems in Neptune. Veronica's latest case may cost her more than she ever wanted to risk. Not Movie Compliant. AU after Season 3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well my muse wasn’t cooperating for my other two stories and I ended up writing a lot more on my unposted one, so I decided to finally go ahead and start publishing it. Sorry to those of you waiting for the next M&M chapter, but at least this gives you something new to read.
> 
> This new story is quite a bit different from the others I’ve done, but I’m really hoping people give it a try and enjoy it. It’s not going to be quite as long as my other multi-chapter stories, likely ending more around the 40K mark. It’s mostly in Veronica’s POV, but some of it is Logan’s too. It’s also the darkest one I’ve done, well at least I think it is. So don’t be expecting much, if any, fluff here. I would say it’s a bit more noir-ish than my others have been too. It also uses a lot of flashbacks which I’ve never done to this extent before either. There will be LoVe, but whether it’s only in flashbacks or in the future too, you’ll have to read to find out since I don’t want to spoil it for anyone.  
> I’m sure I’ll get some complaints about certain aspects, which is fine, but there are many parts of it I really loved writing. And the good news is that it’s about 90% complete, so you shouldn’t have to wait long for updates. I’m planning on posting more or less weekly, although some of the sections may end up shorter, so I may post the next one quicker if I post a relatively short one to make up for the lighter update. 
> 
> I’m putting it as T for FF, but there are probably some sections that are a little on the M side. If anyone really objects as you read it, please let me know. And thanks to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this! 
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

It was late afternoon and Veronica's last client of the day had just left. She stood up from her desk and went to get a bottle of water out of the fridge. She was just closing the refrigerator door when she heard the outer office door open and close. She let out a frustrated sigh, worried that the case had been compromised if he was back that early. He could be quick sometimes, but it seemed way too soon for him to have planted the bugs and returned to the office already.

"Hey," she said as she turned the corner and then stood frozen in place. Brown eyes staring at her when she'd expected blue. She felt her chest tighten slightly as she tried to take a breath. He seemed almost as affected by seeing her as she was at seeing him. Of course he would have expected to see her versus being completely caught off guard, so he did have that advantage. Although based on his expression, she didn't think it really mattered much.

They stood there just staring at each other for several seconds before he finally glanced away and then started to speak. "I need your help, Veronica," he mumbled in a more devastated tone than she'd heard from him in a very long time.

Veronica clenched her jaw and furrowed her brow. He started talking again before she could object. "I need someone I know can be discreet and I only trust you. Please... I think my wife is having an affair."

She took a deep breath and instantly thought back to the last time he'd been there.

_Flashback ~ ~ ~_

_Veronica was searching through the filing cabinet for a folder that she was positive she'd put back when she heard the door behind her open. She glanced over her shoulder and was surprised to see Logan standing there. She gave him a polite smile and turned toward him, leaning slightly against the desk between them. Even though they both still lived in Neptune, they’d been able to completely avoid running into each other, and she certainly hadn't expected to see him here ever again. He looked nervous though, which never led to anything good. He didn't bother with small talk, jumping right to the point of his visit._

_"I need to tell you something... I just..." She could also tell by his tone that this wasn't going to be good. "I didn't want you to hear it from someone else... I'm getting married."_

_Veronica tried not to react negatively to the news even though it felt like her chest had been violently torn open and her heart was being crushed. "That's great... Congratulations... I'm sure the two of you will be happy together_ ," _she replied as she forced a supportive smile on her face. She’d had enough practice pretending to feel something that she didn’t to come off as convincing. At least she hoped it did._

_He took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah... I just... I felt I owed it to you to be the one to tell you... I guess that's sort of stupid after all this time..."_

_"No... It's... Thanks." She didn't really know what else there was to say and apparently he didn't either._

_He gave her a firm nod. "Okay then… Goodbye, Veronica," he said as he turned and headed back out the door._

_"Goodbye, Logan," she said softly to herself as the door closed behind him. ~ ~ ~_

Him showing up out of the blue to tell her he was getting married was the last time she'd seen him until now. That had to have been over a year and a half ago she’d guess, but she’d tried not to think much about that day. They were still standing there awkwardly in the hallway while she tried to figure out what to do.

"Please, Veronica? I need to know and I need someone I can trust to help me," he pleaded again. He'd at least met her eyes for a few seconds, rather than just avoiding her gaze.

She shook her head slightly and turned to walk back into the larger reception area. She didn't hear him following her, so she turned back toward him and gestured to the couch with her head since he was still standing in the same spot. He gave her a grateful look as he sighed and walked over to take a seat.

She leaned against the corner of the desk, folding her arms across her chest as he sat down. Veronica watched him carefully as she contemplated what she should do. He looked more exhausted than she'd ever remembered seeing him look before. He'd been through so much shit before that she was a little surprised to see him looking this weary. 

"I find it hard to believe that  _Hannah_ would cheat on you... what makes you so sure that she is?" Veronica asked skeptically.

Logan swallowed hard and looked down at his hands for a few seconds. He started fidgeting with the gold wedding band on his left hand. "I just... things are off... and..."

She could tell there was something he didn't want to tell her based on his reaction to her question. "I'm not going to take the case if you keep things from me, Logan," she said resolutely.

He stopped fidgeting and looked up at her. The weariness replaced by an expression she could only classify as shame, but she wasn't sure why he looked that way if Hannah was the one doing the cheating. "She told me she's pregnant," Logan said with a hard tone.

Veronica cocked an eyebrow at him. She couldn't help but wonder if he just didn't want to be responsible for a kid and was just imagining that Hannah had cheated on him to get out of it. _Wouldn't be the first guy to do that, although typically it wasn't with their wife_.

Logan let out another deep sigh and shook his head. "I can't have kids, Veronica," he said as he looked at her again. 

Veronica gave him a questioning look. "And you _never_ told her that?" she asked incredulously, her voice raising slightly. "Don't you think that should have been something you told her _before_ you even got married, Logan?"

Logan looked down at the coffee table in front of the couch again. "I told her I _didn't_ _want_ to have kids... I may have left out the  _couldn't_  part. She said she was fine not having kids too... I didn't think it was a big deal to go into the technicalities of it since it didn't really seem to matter at that point."

"How do you..." she paused and let out a deep sigh. “How do you know you _can't_?"

"I had a vasectomy," he answered abruptly. 

Veronica shook her head again and let out another frustrated breath. "Well maybe they fucked it up, Logan. Did you ever think of that? They do make mistakes sometimes. Maybe you should figure that out before you accuse your wife of sleeping around." She wasn't really sure why she was so angry all of a sudden. It really wasn't any of her business. He was just another potential client now and whatever fucked up mistakes he made were certainly not her problem anymore.

"Look... I know it was a shitty thing to do, Veronica..." he replied angrily. "But I'm positive she's having an affair and that baby is not mine. They did tests after… so I’m positive it can’t be mine."

"Maybe the tests were screwed up too. We're talking about  _Hannah_ , Logan. Sweet, innocent Hannah... I find it really hard to believe she's cheating on you."

"Well you're wrong and she is," Logan snapped back.

"You want to know what I think?" Veronica asked; she didn't give him a chance to reply. "I think you're just looking for excuses to get out of being a dad. So things didn't go as you planned. That doesn't make Hannah the villain here, Logan."

Logan took a deep breath before he continued. "Okay, fine... I know you may not believe me... but do you always believe all your clients? Isn't that why they _hire_ you... to get _proof_?"

Veronica gave him an annoyed glare. "Do you have any other _proof_?"

"No... but things don't feel right... her behavior is different... that's why I want to hire you."

“You could just have a paternity test done on the baby to prove it, Logan,” she countered next, still feeling anything but impartial to the situation. “That should give you whatever proof you need that she’s been unfaithful, _if_ she has.”

“I just…” he let out a frustrated breath and she could see the emotions warring on his face. “I just want to know the _truth_ about what’s going on. I would think if _anyone_ could understand that, it would be _you_.”

Veronica let out a frustrated breath. She knew she shouldn't take his case. Tell him no and send him away. The chances that Hannah was actually having an affair seemed a million to one to her. Hannah had always been head over heels for Logan. The idea that she was actually seeing someone else seemed completely ludicrous. Although Veronica certainly hadn't been a part of his life in years, and people do change. "If I take this case, Logan... am I going to find out you've been sleeping around too?"

The shocked look on his face told her all she needed to know. "No," he replied as he shook his head adamantly. 

She let out another loud, deep breath and shook her head. "Alright," she answered sounding a bit defeated as well. "I'll take your case, but you should still get verification from a doctor that you can't be the father... if you find out you could be... then just talk to her instead. Maybe it's something else that the two of you just need to deal with," she told him, still struggling over the fact that she had major reservations about taking this case.

"Okay..." he said a bit hesitantly as he nodded. 

"And you know..." she said as she closed her eyes and shook her head. “Be on the safe side... have them check for other things too."

Logan let out a deep sigh and nodded.

She internally struggled for a few seconds before she continued. She hated saying it, but knew it was necessary. “And if you really do want to get proof, you’re going to need to act completely normal. If she thinks you suspect something is going on, she may stop whatever she’s doing, _if_ she actually is doing anything. You understand that right?”

Logan sighed and nodded again.

\------------------------------------------------

Logan slowly walked back down the stairs and climbed into his car that was parked along the curb. He looked back up at the building he'd just walked out of and let his head fall to the back of the seat.  _Well that couldn't have gone much worse, could it? I suppose she could have told me to fuck off and totally refused to help me._  He shook his head and closed his eyes. He couldn't help but think back to the last time he'd walked out of that building.

_Flashback ~ ~ ~_

_Logan closed the car door and stared at the steering wheel. He'd wanted so badly for Veronica to tell him he was making a huge mistake and to not go through with marrying Hannah. If she'd given him any small indication that she still gave a damn about him... about them... he would have. But no, she congratulated him with a smile and said that she was sure that they'd be happy together. He couldn't detect any trace of hesitation or regret. Maybe he should just leave… disappear somewhere… drive down to Mexico and vanish. He knew he’d partly stuck around Neptune hoping that things with Veronica would eventually change. But then Hannah had come back. She'd been so excited when they'd bumped into each other and her adoration of him was a breath of fresh air after the nightmare that had been him and Veronica. He'd just gotten swept up by her. Not just her, but the feeling that someone loved him unconditionally. He'd eventually convinced himself that he loved her too. Maybe not as much as he'd loved Veronica, but he still loved Hannah. And then something had caused Hannah to doubt him. To push him for more. He didn't want to be alone again. He convinced himself that Hannah was right. That if he did love her he wouldn't run away from making a commitment. So now here he was, due to get married in two weeks on Catalina. All of a sudden escaping to Mexico didn't seem like all that bad of an idea._

_Logan's cell phone rang and he glanced down and saw Hannah's name on the screen._

_He took a deep breath and answered._

_"Hey, babe, I thought you'd be home by now?"_

_"Sorry, had a quick errand to do," Logan answered trying not to sound upset about seeing Veronica._

_"I thought we were going to try that new gourmet hotdog place on the boardwalk." Logan could picture the playful pout on her lips as she spoke. "You promised to get me a slushy too... Just like our first date."_

_Logan let out a sigh and laughed softly. "You said that wasn't a date… princess." Things were always so easy with Hannah. Maybe he didn't have the same intense feelings for her as he'd had for Veronica, but he couldn't deny he loved how much she loved him._

_"Hurry home," she purred through the phone. "I'm hungry... and we should get some food too." ~ ~ ~_

Logan hadn’t expected Veronica to accuse him of also sleeping around. That stung more than he could have ever imagined it would. To be fair, if his marriage to Hannah failed due to adultery, he would have also placed money on it being him rather than Hannah. Although he could only imagine _that_ happening with the obstinate blonde he’d just left.

\------------------------------------------------

Veronica was in the inner office adding a few more notes into the file she’d started for Logan’s case when she heard the door to the office open and close again. She closed the file folder and walked out to the main room.

“Success?” she asked with an inquisitive smile.

The ‘of course’ reply was accompanied by a smug grin. She was close enough to run her fingers over the patch on his fake uniform and smiled at him as she did.

_Flashback ~ ~ ~_

_Veronica collapsed back onto the pillows, working hard to catch her breath. She lightly ran her fingers through the dark blond hair on the head that was resting on her chest. “Hey,” she said with a soft exhale._

_“Hey,” he parroted as he leaned up on his elbows with a mischievous grin, sparkling blue eyes staring back at her._

_“Can you do a favor for me?” she asked as she tilted her head the slightest amount._

_She felt his body shake slightly against hers as he laughed and shook his head. “You know you could have just asked for the favor and not have had to butter me up with sex first.” He paused and waggled his eyebrows at her. “Although I guess if I had to choose, an unplanned afternoon rendezvous with my smoking hot girlfriend does beat a text asking for a favor.”_

_Veronica rolled her eyes as she shook her head. “This wasn’t a setup… though you know I could probably get you to do anything with another round like that one,” she couldn’t help adding with a smug grin. His expression changed to reflect that he wholeheartedly agreed with her as he nodded. “This should be pretty easy though. Can you place a few listening devices for me?”_

_“Hmm… do I get to have some sort of undercover, secret identity?”_

_Veronica laughed and shook her head again. “Well I don’t think walking into this place as a journalist would probably go over too well, so yes. I think I have an ID card for a building inspector we could modify.”_

_“I’ll only do it if I get to pretend to be an exterminator.”_

_Veronica let out a huff of amusement. “Exterminator?”_

_“Yep,” he replied with a devious grin. “How ironic is that… you know you love it… the exterminator who leaves bugs behind instead of removing them.”_

_“You’re a dork,” she replied as she laughed at him again._

_“Yeah… but a dork who just gave you three mind blowing orgasms," he pointed out before placing a passionate kiss on her lips._

_"Bugs Be Gone," he laughed against her mouth. "Perfect name for my fictional company." ~ ~ ~_

"Was that Logan Echolls I just saw pulling away from the curb?"

Veronica’s fingers froze on the exterminator patch. She wasn't trying to keep this from him, but she hadn't wanted to jump right into it either. She'd hoped that Logan would have been long gone before he made it back, but they’d spent time going over Hannah’s normal schedule and all the other things she’d need to know to start her investigation. Veronica let out a slow breath, but didn’t immediately respond.

"No lies, Veronica. That's our promise, remember," he said with just a hint of hurt already forming behind his eyes.

"Yes, it was Logan," she replied feeling a bit defensive already.

"What did he want?"

"To hire me for a case," she answered as nonchalantly as possible. She knew he wasn't going to be thrilled about this.

He let out a sigh before he continued. "What kind of case?"

"The _usual_ ," she said as she finally turned and walked over toward the kitchenette.

"You didn't take it, did you?"

She spun back toward him. She hadn't wanted to go on the offensive, but unfortunately she knew it was inevitable. " _Yes_ , I took it."

As she expected he let out an uneasy bitter laugh. "Well call and tell him you changed your mind."

"In case you didn't notice, this is Mars Investigations, not Mars and Vandegraff. You don't get to decide what cases I take."

"I wasn't asking as a partner, I was asking as your boyfriend," Troy replied with a pleading expression.

"It's just a job, Troy" Veronica replied as she crossed her arms across her chest. "He's just another client."

Troy let out a frustrated breath and shook his head. "We both know Logan Echolls has never been _just_ _another_ anything." She shook her head, but didn't say anything so he continued. It was easy to detect the anxiety in his voice as he spoke again. "And it's not _just some_ case either. He wants you to find out if his wife is cheating on him. I mean... isn't there some conflict of interest there or something..."

"Troy," Veronica said in a terse tone. "It's a case, period. There's nothing else to it. Just drop it before one of us says something we’ll regret."

"Fine," Troy snapped back as he turned and headed for the door. "I've got a real job to do."

She took a deep breath as the office door slammed behind him.

**_A/N – Please take a minute to let me know what you think of it so far. Thanks for reading!_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Thanks for all the wonderful reviews so far. I know this is quite a bit different than my other stories, but I really hope you all still enjoy it and keep reading! Please take a minute to leave me a note after you read this update. I always love to hear from everyone and I’m really curious to get feedback since this is such a departure from my normal style.
> 
> I know this chapter is the shortest one, so I’ll try to make it up to you all by posting the next one sooner than a week out. And I’ll try to finish the next chapter of Marshmallows and Moonlight soon for people in need of fluff. 
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

_**Here's the cover page that I made for this story too. I wish AO3 had the same cover page option as FF, but at least I can post the picture here anyway, and it can be bigger here, so that's nice.** _

 

Veronica knocked on the door to the small craftsman bungalow. She could hear music playing inside, which turned off as she heard footsteps approach the door. The deadbolt unlocked and the door opened to a pair of surprised blue eyes. "Hey... I umm... Good to see you..." There was a noticeable pause, which Veronica could easily guess the reason for. "Did you tell me you were stopping by today and I just forgot? I swear to god this mommy brain crap is killing me."

Veronica laughed and shook her head. "No... I had some files I needed help decrypting and thought I'd stop by on my way home to drop the flash drive off for you. No huge rush though." Veronica suddenly felt guilty for coming by unannounced, but had just really wanted to see a friendly face after everything that had happened earlier at the office.

"Miranda’s still sleeping a lot, so I'm sure I can sneak in some hacking time," Mac said with a sly smile as she gestured for Veronica to come in.

Veronica glanced over at the baby swing and the dark haired little baby girl who was chewing on some sort of toy. "I swear she's grown so much since the last time I saw her,” Veronica commented with a hint of amazement in her tone.  

"Yep, growing like a weed... If weeds cried and pooped half the time."

Veronica laughed in surprise, not expecting that analogy from Mac.

"Did you want to hold her?" Mac asked as she glanced toward the swing as well.

"She looks pretty comfortable there," Veronica said a bit nervously. She'd never felt very comfortable around babies and she appreciated that even though Mac kept trying to get her to bond with the baby, she never got upset when Veronica declined to interact much with her. Veronica was glad that Mac knew her well enough to recognize things that were outside of her comfort zone and to not push her too much on it. Veronica wondered if she’d feel more comfortable around Miranda as she got older, but so far, that hadn’t happened yet.

"Yeah," Mac replied with a fond smile. "Miranda definitely loves her swing." She turned back toward Veronica and studied her more carefully. "You seem... Is everything okay?"

Veronica shrugged and let out a sigh. "Logan came by the office today."

Mac's eyes opened wide as she waited for Veronica to continue.

"He umm... he asked me to find out if Hannah’s having an affair," Veronica reluctantly shared.

Mac's expression became even more surprised by that. "Did you agree to take the case?" she asked as she watched Veronica cautiously.

Veronica nodded. "I guess I sometimes feel like I still owe him, you know?"

Mac nodded slowly in reply.

_Flashback ~~~_

_Veronica flipped to the next chapter in her textbook and grabbed another blank note card. She thought she'd silenced her cell phone when she got to the library, but must have forgotten and the shrill chime drew scowls from her classmates sitting at her table.  She didn't recognize the number, so hit ignore and put the phone on silence before it immediately went off again in her hand with the same number._

_She decided she'd better answer it if they were that desperate to talk to her. "Hello?" she whispered after answering the call, looking down at the table to avoid any judgmental glances for taking a call during her study session._

_"Veronica," a familiar voice said across the line, although it took her a moment to realize who it was, partly because he never called her ‘Veronica’ and partly because he sounded so distraught. "There was an accident..." She felt her chest tighten immediately and felt like she couldn't breath. "Your dad... You need to come to the hospital."_

_"What happened, Vinnie?" Veronica barely choked out._

_"It was a car accident... A hit and run. Get to the hospital as soon as you can." He didn't even say goodbye before the line went dead._

_Veronica was absolutely terrified. She quickly grabbed her things and shoved them into her bag without even stopping to explain to her study partners where she was going. As she bolted out the library door she ran smack into him._

_"Whoa, what's wrong?" Logan asked as he put a hand on her shoulder to steady her and then immediately looked worried._

_“My dad... I um..." Veronica shook her head before she continued. "I need to get to the hospital." She could feel her eyes burning as tears starting to stream down her cheeks._

_"I'll drive you," Logan said quickly, wrapping his arm across her shoulders and leading her toward the parking lot._

_They'd barely spoken to each other in the months since sophomore year had started and without even being asked he was once again her knight in shining armor coming to her rescue. They drove in silence to the hospital, with only some soft whimpering from her as she tried to keep hold of what little composure she could muster._

_Logan followed her in through the ER entrance without being asked, staying a few steps behind her, but close enough that she could still tell he was there. She immediately spotted deputy uniforms and rushed toward Vinnie. "Is he okay?" she asked with a weak, terrified voice. The expression on Vinnie's face was even more distressed than his voice had sounded over the phone._

_"They took him into surgery," Vinnie answered gravely._

_Veronica could feel Logan stop right next to her and reached down to squeeze his hand. She needed something to give her some strength. He’d always been there for her before when she really needed him and she knew she could count on him now. She definitely needed something to keep her from completely falling apart. Seconds later a doctor came out the ER doors and headed towards Vinnie._

_"I'm sorry," the doctor said as he shook his head. "Were you able to reach his family?"_

_Veronica collapsed against Logan's chest as his arms protectively wrapped around her sobbing, shaking body. ~~~_

"Did you want to stay for dinner?" Mac asked with a compassionate smile. "Max should be home soon and we were going to order take out. You're welcome to join us. I know he’d love to see you too."

Veronica gave her a grateful smile. "No, I need to get going. But it was good to see you… and Miranda too," Veronica replied, suddenly questioning whether stopping by had been a good idea or not. Mac took a step closer so she could hug Veronica.

"If you need anything," Mac offered softly as she squeezed Veronica tightly. “Anything at all.” Veronica nodded against her shoulder as she hugged her back.

"Thanks Mac," she said with a small smile before she handed her the flash drive and headed back out the door.

_______________________________

Logan didn't feel like going home and facing Hannah after asking Veronica to help him, so instead he found himself at the place he had visited more times than he'd care to admit over the past several years.

He'd initially moved out of the Grand to get away from all his memories of Veronica, but after a while, he found he couldn't bear to completely let all those memories of her go. He'd finally reached a breaking point and started going to the Grand when those feelings would become unbearable. He would rent the penthouse for the night, just to feel a connection back to the good times they’d shared there together. At least there were enough good memories he could conjure up to drown out most of the bad ones. He’d resisted doing that at least in the last year and a half, but after what happened earlier that day, he found himself drawn there once again.

He wasn't sure if he was actually relieved this time that it was available, but followed the familiar routine of riding the elevator up to the top floor. Once the elevator doors opened, he trudged along the hallway toward the suite. He took a deep breath before he slid the card key in the lock and pushed the heavy door open. It always felt the same going back, as if time there was able to just stand still. He slowly ran his hand over the back of the couch, remembering all the times he'd shared there with Veronica.

He always seemed to be drawn out to the balcony and found his body heading there as if it was controlled by some outside force. He opened the door and stepped outside, staring desolately at the cushioned built in seating area.

_Flashback ~~~_

_It seemed like it was turning out to be one of the wettest Februaries on record. After Keith died, Veronica had spent countless hours sitting on the covered lounge area of the balcony just crying and watching it rain. Sometimes she'd let Logan hold her and sometimes she'd just want to be alone. It killed him to see her in so much pain, but all he could seem to do to help was just be there for her. She'd refused to go back to the apartment she’d shared with Keith right after the accident, claiming she couldn't bear to see all the reminders of her dad. Logan had, of course, gladly let her stay at the penthouse with him._

_Several weeks after the funeral, she'd asked Logan and Wallace if they could box up everything at the apartment for her. Alicia had offered to let her store things in their garage knowing the situation Veronica was in. It was the evening after they had finished moving everything out that Logan found Veronica on the balcony and could sense something seemed different this time. He was relieved that she at least wasn't crying as he closed the door behind him._

_He gave her a tender smile and walked over to sit with her. He knew if she wanted to be alone she'd tell him to leave, as she had many times before. He wrapped an arm around her waist and she leaned into his side. He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, hoping she was starting to finally heal a bit after Keith's death. She had taken it even harder than he'd expected, although knowing how close they’d always been he wasn’t really surprised. In the aftermath of Keith’s death, Veronica had gone so far as to withdraw from her classes at Hearst and still rarely left the suite._

_"I don't want to feel sad anymore," she said in a quiet voice as she turned to face him. He gave her a compassionate smile and nodded, reaching up to brush a few strands of hair off of her cheek. He’d suggested a couple of times that maybe seeing a professional might help, and he wondered if she was finally ready to take that step._

_She only looked at him for a second before she leaned in and pressed her lips to his. After weeks of just being there as a consoling friend, Logan was definitely caught off guard. While she'd been sharing his bed, letting him hold her so she could fall asleep, that was as intimate as they'd been during the time she'd been staying with him._

_"I want you," she said in a low sultry voice as she ran her hand up his neck and into his hair. There was no way he could deny her anything she wanted when he saw the longing, lustful look in her eyes. He let her take the lead and set the pace, still concerned over how fragile she might be feeling, although there wasn't anything particularly fragile about the way she took charge and told him exactly what she wanted him to do. He was relieved to see a spark in her eyes again which seemed to grow even brighter as they rekindled their relationship that evening there on the balcony. ~~~_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the last chapter was so short, I’m publishing this one already. The rest of the updates will probably be more like weekly though. This chapter has a couple references to Killjoys (Aaron Ashmore’s Sci-fi show) so be sure to let me know if you spot them if you’ve seen the show. You can always ask if you really want to know. I’m always happy to answer questions if they don’t give too much away. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this chapter when you’re finished. I really do love hearing from you all! And thanks to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this!
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

Veronica opened the door to her apartment and then paused for a moment, waiting to see if there was any sign that she wasn’t alone before closing it. She had hoped that after Troy had stormed out, he might have cooled off and come to see her. Unfortunately, she was now only met by dead silence, so she closed the door and headed over to the couch. She flopped onto her back and covered her face with her arm, thinking back over the events of her day. It was definitely not how she’d ever expected her day to go. Veronica certainly never thought she’d see Logan Echolls show up at Mars Investigations ever again. She’d only been lying on the couch for a minute or two when she heard rustling on the back of the couch above her and opened her eyes to see a pair of green ones staring back at her.

“Sorry, Lucy,” Veronica said in a sad voice as she stared up at the gray cat perched above her. “It’s just me.” Veronica reached up and scratched Lucy under her chin. “I know he’s your favorite, but you’ll just have to settle for me tonight.” Veronica knew that if Troy had been the one on the couch, Lucy would already have pounced onto his chest and been happily purring and rubbing against him. Even if Veronica was the one who rescued her, Lucy of course prefered Troy over her. He always did seem to have a way to charm females, regardless of species.

_ Flashback ~~~ _

_ Veronica sat at the end of the bar where she could keep an eye on her target but not stand out too much. She really didn’t want to have to deal with any guys hitting on her while she was working so she had dressed as conservatively as possible. So far the suspected cheating husband had only been meeting with a couple of other men tonight— no females had joined their small group at all. _

_ “You know he doesn’t meet his mistress in public, right?” a soft male voice whispered into Veronica’s ear. There was something familiar about it, but she didn’t immediately recognize who it was. _

_ She turned toward the voice and let out an annoyed huff when she saw Troy Vandegraff smiling back at her. “What are you talking about?” she asked as she narrowed her eyes at him. _

_ Troy gestured toward her mark with his head. “The honorable Judge Byron Lewis,” he replied with a smirk. “He may meet with questionable male associates in public, but he’s a bit more private with his marital indiscretions.” He paused and studied Veronica for a second. “I’m guessing the current Mrs. Byron Lewis is looking for an iron-clad divorce case?” _

_ Veronica tilted her head to the side in an innocent fashion. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she replied with as much naivety as she could muster. _

_ Troy laughed and shook his head at her. “Riiiiight…” he said slowly, dragging out the one syllable way longer than necessary. _

_ “What’s your interest in the guy?” Veronica asked, trying to shift the focus away from her since clearly Troy seemed to be familiar with the judge. _

_ “Hmm…” Troy mumbled as he studied Veronica with a calculating gaze. “I suppose I’ll have to be the one to be forthright since you clearly aren’t eager to share. I’m trying to do a story about some of our corrupt judges in Neptune and their connections to organized crime.” _

_ Veronica chuckled and shook her head for a moment. She wasn’t sure whether he was serious or not. “A story?” she asked skeptically. _

_ Troy smiled a bit more mischievously and nodded. “Yeah, I’m a journalist… well sometimes just a freelance writer… and I’m working on a story that I pitched to the Neptune Register involving our Honorable Judge Lewis over there.” _

_ Veronica remained unconvinced as she narrowed her eyes at him. “Well I haven’t seen any other articles in the paper written by you.” _

_ Troy grinned broader and chuckled. “I’m not stupid enough to use my real name on stories in Neptune. Especially not the kind I tend to end up working on. Despite what you might prefer, I actually do enjoy living.” _

_ Veronica rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly. “So you write under an alias?” _

_ Troy nodded before he leaned a little closer so he could make a show of actually confiding in her. “John Jacobi.” _

_ Veronica cocked her head to the side and looked more carefully at him. “You wrote the article about the black market body part business happening at Neptune Memorial?” _

_ Troy smiled proudly and nodded. “Yeah… wow, I’m surprised you remembered the name of who wrote that. Although I was pretty proud of blowing that one wide open. Even some prestigious doctors were involved and lost their licenses because of it.” Troy gave her a curious look before he continued. “Wanna team up… work together on this. Share some surveillance work. I promise I can help you get a good money shot if you’re willing to help me too.” _

_ Veronica narrowed her eyes at him as she contemplated his offer. She probably should turn him down, but he may already be one step ahead of her if he’s been watching the judge for a while longer than she has. He at least seems to know something about the woman her client suspected her husband was seeing. “I know I’m going to regret this… but okay. You’ve got yourself a deal.” She reached out her hand and he smirked before he placed his hand in hers and then put the other one on top of their joined hands and shook them just as he had on their first date. He gave her a mischievous wink as he saw her expression change as she remembered when he’d done that to her before. ~~~ _

Lucy had reluctantly let Veronica place her on her chest so she could pet her. Veronica was hungry, but knew there probably wasn’t anything currently in the fridge that would be edible. She’d been so busy on cases lately that she kept skipping grocery shopping. She was debating about calling for some take-out when there was a knock at the door. She gave Lucy one last scratch and then sat her on the end of the couch before walking over to the door. She could easily tell by the sound of the knock who she was going to find on the other side of the door.

“You have a key, you know?” she pointed out as she opened the door and leaned against the frame.

Troy gave her a sheepish look and nodded. “Somehow using it when you’re mad at me doesn’t feel right.”

“I’m not the one who stormed out in a huff. If anyone was mad, it was  _ you _ .” Veronica narrowed her eyes at him. She knew she should probably back down and just try to make peace, but that was never her nature. “I thought you had  _ real _ work to do?”

“I’d rather grovel and try to make things right with the woman I love than worry about some stupid deadline.” Veronica let out a sigh and shook her head. Troy held up a brown bag that he was holding before he continued with a hopeful look on his face. “And I knew you didn’t have anything to eat here, so I brought your favorite from Luigi’s.”

Veronica smiled slightly and gestured with her arm for him to come in. He walked toward the kitchen and sat the bag on the kitchen counter and then turned back to her. Veronica’s apartment was relatively small, though at least it was on the ocean. It was very similar to the one she’d shared with her dad, although this one only had one bedroom. It was also in a slightly better neighborhood than the Sunset Cliffs, but still not very high up the zip-code ladder. 

“I’m sorry, Veronica,” Troy said as he looked sorrowfully at her. “I’m sorry I let my jealousy get the better of me.”

“Let’s eat first,” Veronica said as she walked toward the counter. “And then we can work on making up.”

Troy nodded, and finally gave her a small smile. “I even got tiramisu.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him. “That’s a good start,” she said slyly as she opened a cabinet to pull plates out of.

Fights with Logan had generally been  _ epic _ blow-outs. Logan maybe had been right about them being epic, just not necessarily the way he’d once thought. Fights with Troy were easier and not as frequent. They would usually start because she was taking a case that he felt was too dangerous. Occasionally he would do something that she thought was stupid, but they never seemed to stay angry at each other for very long.

They ate in silence at the small bistro table she had out on the balcony. One perk this place had over the one at the Sunset Cliffs was that it was on the fourth floor and looked out over the ocean. It was also located along a rocky stretch of the pacific, so generally there weren’t people looking up at her place and it provided a soothing sense of privacy.

Lucy had followed them out onto the balcony and rubbed up against Troy’s legs while he ate. Veronica caught him reaching down to pet her several times, and he’d give her an innocent look when he caught her watching him. She had frequently teased him about intentionally spoiling Lucy and making her like him more than she liked Veronica. She’d also occasionally claimed that he likely only stuck around so he could see Lucy, rather than really being in love with her. Maybe it was part of her own intimacy issues that she’d rather joke about their relationship than take it as seriously as he would have preferred. When she’d agreed to work with him on the Judge Lewis case, she never expected to actually end up in a relationship with him, but now here they were.

Once they were finished eating, they put away the leftover food and cleaned the dishes. Veronica took his hand and led him over to the couch. She gave him a slight shove, forcing him to sit down and then she sat down across his lap.

“It’s a  _ case _ , Troy. I’m sorry you don’t like who it’s for, but it’s what people hire me to do.” She stopped and took a deep breath. They hadn’t talked in depth about Logan, but Troy knew some of their history, which she knew was why he’d acted the way he had. She’d never been dating Logan any of the times that Troy was in Neptune, so anything he did know was based only on what she’d told him. “I know I’ve never told you everything about my past relationship with Logan, but I do feel like I owe him for being there for me when my dad died, so can you please try to at least understand that.”

Troy nodded, and gave her a sympathetic smile as he reached up and stroked her cheek. “I just don’t want to lose you… not after finally being worthy enough to have you. And knowing that he used to love you… well it’s hard.” She nodded in understanding. He took a deep breath before he continued. “I don’t want to fight with you about it, but I can’t help but wonder about his real motivations. How do you know he’s not just using this as a way to work his way back into your life?  Why do you even believe him? Didn't you say lying is what tore you two apart?”

Veronica let out a defeated sigh. “Yes, but it wasn't his lie. It was mine.”

_ Flashback ~~~ _

_ She should have known he'd eventually figure it out, but she had been so focused on finding the truth that she was blind to everything else. She was going over some of her dad’s notes when the door to the office swung open, startling her. She’d initially started locking it behind her every time she was there, but the last couple of weeks she had gotten out of the habit. _

_ Logan stood there with a pained expression on his face. “You said you would stay out of it, Veronica. That you would let the police handle it.” It was easy to hear the disappointment and sense of betrayal in his voice. “You promised me you wouldn’t get involved.” _

_ She could see the realization of just how much time she'd spent working on her dad’s case was sinking in as Logan looked around the room and saw all the surveillance photos she had put up on the wall and her notes on the giant whiteboard. _

_ “How long have you been doing this?” he asked with a broken tone. But then his expression became angry and she saw him clench his jaw. “No… wait… let me guess.” His voice matched the rage in his eyes when he continued. “You’ve been doing this ever since I started going back to class this term, haven’t you?” He let out a bitter, despondent laugh. His tone changed from being angry to sounding completely broken and devastated as he started talking again. She could easily see how her deception had hurt him. “You told me you were taking time to get past it... focusing on photography... something you loved.” He stopped and shook his head before he continued, his voice breaking slightly as his emotions got the better of him. “But you were actually doing surveillance and working on this the entire time.” _

_ Logan was obviously starting to put more of the pieces together as he stood there staring at her. She could imagine he was thinking back to everything she’d told him the past few months and realizing how many lies she’d actually told him. “I'm guessing you've been lying about going to see the grief counselor too.” He paused again and looked up at the ceiling in frustration. “Veronica Mars doesn't grieve, she just gets vengeance.” _

_ When he looked back at her again, there was more pain in his eyes than she’d ever remembered seeing before. “You were so fucking hard on me for not telling you the truth about Mexico and Aspen, but I didn't lie to you, Veronica, I just didn't want to tell you the entire truth. But I never actually fucking lied to you. You've been lying to me for months about this.” He paused again, apparently trying to read her reaction. “And from your expression I can tell you don't regret it at all. I'm sure the only thing you regret is getting caught. God, Veronica, why couldn’t you just let the police handle it? Do you want to end up dead too?” _

_ Veronica knew she should probably feel guilty, but all she felt at that moment was anger. “We both know the police in this town are a joke. Especially with Vinnie still running the department. There’s no way in hell they are ever going to find out who did this to my dad. So yes… I lied.” _

_ Logan shook his head. “He wouldn’t want this, Veronica,” he yelled at her angrily. “Your dad wouldn’t want you risking your life to try to get vengeance for him. You know he never ever would have wanted that. He would have wanted you to go back to school… to get a degree and get out of this fucked up town.” _

_ “No,” she yelled back sounding even angrier than he was now. “Someone’s always supposed to pay, right? Isn’t that the rule we live by, Logan?” She paused for a moment letting the impact of Logan’s own words being thrown back at him sink in. “I want to make whoever did this to my dad pay. That’s the only thing that matters to me now.” _

_ Logan let out a bitter laugh before he started speaking again. He wasn't yelling quite as loudly but his tone was still extremely harsh and deliberate. “Well, I’m glad to know how much I actually mean to you then. Just to be clear... since I’m still alive and can tell you this… if I die due to some fucking unexplained circumstance, I absolutely, positively do not want you to get vengeance for me.” _

_ “Don’t worry,” Veronica yelled back coldly. The look she was giving him was just as heartless as her voice sounded. “I wouldn’t waste my time.” _

_ “Good,” Logan yelled before he turned and stormed out of the office _ **_. ~~~_ **

Troy gave her a perplexed look. “I always thought you were so insistent on never lying to each other because he’d lied to you.”

“It went both ways,” Veronica said with a sad expression. “In the end, though, it was my lies that ended things for good.”

Troy rested his forehead against hers and took a deep breath. “I do trust you, Veronica. I didn’t want you to think my reaction was because I don’t trust you. I may not trust Logan, but I do trust you.”

“Good,” Veronica replied with a tender smile. “And it’s nice to know you care enough to be jealous,” she added softly and then gave him a slightly admonishing look. “You should know better than to try to tell me which cases to take. That never works out well for you.”

“No it doesn’t,” he said as the slightest of smiles ghosted across his lips. “You’d think I’d learn.”

“Yeah, I would,” she replied as she shifted from sitting across his lap to straddling him instead. “Now… are we on to the  _ fun _ part of making up?”

Veronica watched as a lascivious smile spread across Troy’s face. “Of course. That’s my favorite part,” he replied before capturing her lips with his. She breathed in deeply as they kissed. Make-up sex after a fight with Troy was always great, especially when the fight was his fault. She started pulling his shirt up as they kissed, pausing long enough to slip it off completely. She started helping him with the buttons on her shirt next. Troy had just slipped it off her shoulders when Lucy pounced on the couch and started to meow at them.

“Sorry, Lucy… he’s mine now,” Veronica said with a soft laugh.

“Yes, he is,” Troy reiterated as he grabbed Veronica’s thighs and then stood up with her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her legs around his waist. He headed to Veronica’s bedroom, kicking the door shut before Lucy could follow. He slowly released her legs so she could slide down to stand in front of him. They were standing next to her bed and he slowly started kissing from her neck down to her breasts. After spending a few moments on each breast, he placed kisses down her stomach and then slowly undid her jeans so he could slide them down off her legs. He looked up and gave her a wolfish grin before sliding her lace thong down as well. She enjoyed letting him make amends, a couple of times, for starting the fight with her before she finally slid his pants off as well.

“I love you, Veronica,” Troy mumbled against her hair as they started to doze off to sleep when they were finished. She placed a tender kiss on his chest, and he squeezed her a little tighter as she drifted off to sleep. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is sticking with this one. I know non-LoVe pairings can be difficult, but you should all know I'm a huge LoVe shipper too so anything could happen before we get to the end. But like I said at the beginning, this is much darker than my other stories too. I did actually rewrite the beginning of this chapter a bit to dial back some of the interaction between Veronica and Troy based on some of the previous feedback. My intent was to show how things are for Veronica in the present so as things happen to her the reader would better connect to the emotional turmoil she may experience. Otherwise, to me, it just wouldn’t seem that impactful of a story. Veronica’s struggles were part of what this entire story was about, but I can understand there are some things people just don't want to read. It's still one of my favorite LoVe stories that I've written though.
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this chapter when you’re finished. And thanks to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this!
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

Veronica woke up to a soft glow illuminating her bedroom. She didn’t have to reach across the bed to know that she wouldn’t find a warm body there. She closed her eyes again, not needing to look around to know what her boyfriend was up to. Every few seconds she would hear a couple of light presses on a keyboard.  _ Editing _ . She knew that while Troy may try to make it sound like he wasn’t actually worried about missing his deadline, he also hated disappointing his editor.  As the silence between keystrokes stretched out, she knew he must be getting close to finishing. She heard a familiar soft rapid tapping sound and could picture his pinky finger hitting the enter key just soft enough to make the sound, but not hard enough to actually press the key—a sure sign that he was second guessing something that he’d written and therefor worried about sending it now.

Veronica silently climbed out of bed and walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck when she was close enough. “I’m sure it’s perfect,” she purred into his ear before sucking lightly on his ear lobe. She smiled as she heard a low growl escape his lips. “Of course if you want to spend more time vacillating over it, I can just go back to bed and find something else to occupy my time,” she continued as she swung one leg over his lap and squeezed between him and the desk. “But it would be a lot more fun if you'd join me,” she added with a coy grin.

He let out another low growl before she heard him press the enter key. He reached up to stroke her neck and then his mouth landed on that spot below her ear that he knew drove her crazy. “Pulitzer worthy?” she moaned as he reached down and pulled her snugly against his body.

“You’re certainly award worthy,” he whispered huskily against her neck.  

“Hmmm… award worthy…” she murmured as she felt his body quickly react to her close proximity. “For being the biggest distraction ever?” she teased as she reached up to run her fingers through his hair.

Troy chuckled and shook his head slightly, moving so he could stare into her eyes. He reached up and brushed his fingers gently across her cheek, pushing some loose hair behind her ear. “No… for being brilliant and sexy and just as beautiful inside as you are outside. I love you so much, Veronica.”

“Show me,” she insisted breathlessly. He nodded slowly and then captured her lips with his own before he stood up and carried her back to bed.

“Quid pro quo,” he replied with a flirtatious smirk as he carefully placed her on the bed, joining her a second later.

_ Flashback ~~~ _

_ They’d been following the judge for nearly a week and so far the only thing they’d been able to get proof of was that he was a shitty tipper and that he spent a lot of time with questionable associates, but none of them were female or in any way intimate with him. Troy seemed quite pleased with what they had uncovered so far for his article, but Veronica wasn’t feeling at all happy about how her own case was going. _

_ “This was supposed to be quid pro quo right?” Veronica asked with a slightly annoyed tone as they watched the judge having drinks yet again with a sketchy looking male companion in a bar with a reputation for illegal drug deals. _

_ “Tired of my company already?” Troy asked as he gave her a cocky grin, looking up at her from under the baseball cap he was wearing to be less easy to recognize. _

_ Veronica scoffed. “Your ‘company’ isn’t exactly going to pay my bills,” she answered irritably. _

_ “How about I split the commission on the article with you?” he asked as he glanced between her and the judges table. They’d found a secluded booth that gave at least one of them a visual of the judge without standing out too much themselves. Troy was being a bit more protective than he’d been other times they’d both been following the judge around town and Veronica surmised it was due to the venue. “It’s the least I could do since you’ve helped me so much. I’d even be willing to share the by-line with you.” _

_ “Yeah, it is the ‘least’ you could do,” she quickly agreed. If she wasn’t going to make money off her client with all this effort, she didn’t feel bad at all at taking half of Troy’s commission if he was offering. He was, after all, still the son of a wealthy architect and she was sure he could easily just live off of his trust fund if he wanted to. He’d actually admitted during one of their prior stake-outs that he wasn’t a journalist for the paycheck, but rather because he really did enjoy exposing corruption and trying to make the world a better place. Of course when he’d told her that she had actually been his inspiration for that, she’d rolled her eyes and said she didn’t believe him. _

_ “I’d need an alias too though,” she added thoughtfully. _

_ Troy smirked before he replied. “Yalena Yardeen.” _

_ “What?” Veronica asked in confusion. “Yalena Yardeen and John Jacobi?” _

_ “Yeah, Yalena Yardeen… before I settled on John Jacobi, I’d considered using a woman’s name and that was the one I came up with.” _

_ Veronica shook her head as she tried not to laugh at him too much. “Sure, why not?” _

_ Troy had kept a close eye on the judge while they were talking and tipped his head down suddenly. Veronica was wearing a wig that she hadn’t worn previously, so she was less worried about being spotted and discreetly watched as the judge and the sketchy companion headed past their table and through a door marked ‘private’. _

_ “Bathroom break,” Veronica said as she started to stand up to follow them. It wasn’t the first time she’d gone through the ‘wrong’ door looking for a bathroom as a cover for a case. She reached up to start the camera that was built into the pendant she was wearing around her neck. _

_ Troy immediately got up as well and stood in front of her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Veronica,” he said, concern clearly evident in his eyes. _

_ “You worry too much,” she said as she rolled her eyes and started to push past him. “It’s not like I haven’t done this sort of thing before.” _

_ “I’m waiting right next to the door then,” he said and tugged the baseball cap he was wearing a bit lower on his head. She shook her head slightly but wasn’t going to waste more time arguing with him. She finished turning on the camera and headed for the door. _

_ As soon as the yelling started, Veronica felt arms wrap around her waist and pull her back out toward the bar. The judge and the few other men that were snorting coke in the backroom didn’t make it to the door very quickly and Troy pulled her toward a back exit. He’d slammed the door to the backroom shut to buy them a few seconds to disappear into the crowd before the men from the back made it out of the room. She could hear someone yelling ‘find that red-headed bitch’ as they exited into the alley and the heavy exit door slammed behind them. She immediately pulled off her wig and the shirt she had on over her tank top and tossed them into her shoulder bag while Troy yanked his hat off too. As the door from the bar opened, Troy pushed her against the wall so he’d be blocking her from view and pressed his body close to hers. She instinctively wrapped her arms around him, hoping they would just look like two people who had stepped out to fool around in the alley. She could feel how tense Troy was, and it seemed like he was holding his breath. A second later the back door closed and they were alone again. _

_ Troy exhaled deeply but didn’t move away from her. She felt his nose lightly brush against her cheek, sending an unexpected buzzing sensation through her. She knew the adrenaline rush of almost being caught in a dangerous situation had always been an intoxicating aphrodisiac to her. _

_ “I think it’s safe,” she mumbled in a shaky voice, hoping he would interpret the tremor in her tone as being caused by what had just happened inside. _

_ “I’m sorry,” he mumbled as his nose gently continued along her cheek until it met her own and they were staring eye to eye. “You just… you smell amazing and I…” she could tell from the look on his face exactly what he was thinking. She waited for what was inevitably about to happen and was honestly impressed with his self-control. “I want to kiss you so badly,” he continued in a hoarse whisper. “But I want you to want it as much as I do.” _

_ “Show me,” she breathlessly replied before his lips captured hers. ~~~ _

\----------------------------------------------

Veronica was about to head out to hopefully wrap up surveillance on another case that she was working on when Logan walked into the office. It had barely been twenty-four hours since he’d first stopped by and she was not expecting to have to see him again so soon.

“I was on my way out,” Veronica said a bit bluntly as she picked up her messenger bag and camera case. “I hope you weren’t expecting me to have something for you  _ already _ ?”

Logan shook his head and pulled an envelope out of his pocket. “I thought you wanted  _ proof _ … these are my test results,” he said as he held the envelope out toward her.

“Thanks,” she said as she quickly took the envelope from him.  _ Of course money could buy expedient lab results. _

“Glad to see  _ trust  _ is still such a cornerstone of our relationship,” he said with a bitter tone. She immediately quirked an eyebrow at him and gave him an irritated look. “Sorry… bad choice of words,” he added quickly changing his expression to at least look apologetic.

She opened the envelope and pulled out the sheet of paper that did confirm he was sterile and also free of the various diseases they’d tested him for.  _ At least he didn’t lie to me about the sterility. _ She shook her head slightly as she stuck the paper back in the envelope and shoved it into her bag. She still couldn’t believe Logan wouldn’t have told Hannah about it before they were married, though.

“Hot date?” Logan asked with a slightly disgruntled look. She imagined he was more annoyed that she’d actually opened the envelope to check the results than the possibility she actually did have a date.

“Surveillance actually… not on Hannah tonight though.”

Logan nodded. “No, I didn’t expect you to prioritize me over your other cases. Plus, I didn’t think you’d actually start until you had  _ proof _ that I couldn’t be the father.”

Veronica let out a frustrated sigh. She really didn’t want to fight with Logan while she was working on his case. Even when they were not on good terms and she helped him with his mom’s case, they seemed to be able to interact better than how things were going now. She was sure this was probably as hard for him as it was for her, though, given they way things ended between them. She’d agreed to do this because she really did feel like she owed him for being there for her when her dad died, and right now she wasn’t doing a very good job of actually being a friend to him. Although with his attitude, he wasn’t exactly making it easy either. “Thanks for dropping it off. You could have just faxed it, you know.”

Logan nodded and a defeated expression crossed his face. “Yeah… sorry to have bothered you.”

“Logan…” she started and then paused a second. She could easily see how he’d interpret that as her not wanting to have him there at all. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry. This is… this isn’t exactly easy for me either. We um… we didn’t really part on the best of terms.”

Logan swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah… I remember.”

“I guess I’m not used to doing cases for… friends.”

Logan must have noticed her hesitation, and let out a small sigh. “Well thanks for agreeing to do it… and for  _ trying _ to call me a friend.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

“It’s okay, Veronica,” he replied as he glanced down at the floor for a moment. When he looked back up at her, she could easily see the sadness in his eyes. “You told me once before that it didn’t work for us to be friends. And then well… well, you know… so I’ll be out of your life again once the case is over.”

She really didn’t know how to respond to that, but thought to herself that it was probably for the best. Rather than acknowledge it though, she continued almost as if he hadn’t said it at all. “I’ll give you an update in a few days, okay?” she told him with a more tender tone than she’d had since he arrived.

“Thanks,” he nodded as he took a deep breath. “If there’s anything else you need to know for the case, feel free to give me a call.”

She nodded and he turned to head back to the door. She felt like she should offer him a little more support than she had so far, but couldn’t quite bring herself to do it. She was sure that suspecting your spouse of cheating on you couldn’t be easy. Especially not when you thought she loved you as much as everyone thought Hannah loved Logan. Veronica stood there just staring at the door for a few minutes after he walked out.

She thought back to the way she’d betrayed him as well when she’d tried to go after the people responsible for her dad’s death. She really hadn’t intended to hurt him when she started investigating the accident, but somewhere along the way, solving that case took priority over everything else in her life. And just like any other time before, if someone told her not to do something, it only made her want to do it even more and resent any person who had tried to stand in her way. She of course could easily see now how Logan had just been a victim in all of that, but at the time she’d been so furious that she couldn’t get past her own anger. She eventually realized that part of that anger was pent up feelings about losing her dad in the first place and not necessarily anything Logan had done, but by the time she acknowledged that it was much too late for them. She knew by that point that Logan had already moved on with Hannah and from what she could tell back then he seemed to be genuinely happy. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, pulling her out of her thoughts about her past with Logan. She glanced at the display and then took a deep breath to make sure she wouldn’t sound off when she answered it.

“Hey, babe,” Troy greeted her, sounding way more upbeat than he had the day before. “Did you want to try that new French bistro tonight?”

“Someone’s editor must have liked their article,” Veronica commented with a cheery lilt to her tone.

“Yes, she did,” Troy replied back happily. “So we really must celebrate tonight.”

“Yes, we really must,” Veronica said with a soft laugh. She didn’t want Troy to obsess over her taking the case for Logan, and she knew if she blew him off for dinner, that would not help things at all. The surveillance for this case could always wait until the next day. “Pick me up at my place in an hour?”

“Sounds like a perfect plan,” Troy said before they said goodbye and ended the call.

Veronica walked back through the office to turn all the lights off before she left since she wouldn’t be back that night. Things were quite different than they were only a few years before when she’d actually started living at the office. She was thankful at that time that it had been an apartment before it was converted into office space. Not only did it have a small kitchenette, but also a bathroom with a small shower that she could use as well. At least those days were long in the past now.

_ Flashback ~~~ _

_ Veronica waited until the day after her fight with Logan to go to the Grand to retrieve her things. She was still too angry at Logan to risk running into him, so she had made sure his SUV was gone from its usual spot when she arrived at the hotel. She of course knew his class schedule very well since she had carefully studied it before starting to work on her dad’s case. He really shouldn’t have even been looking for her at that time the day before, so he must have had a class get cancelled or some other terrible twist of fate to expose what she’d been up to. Since his car was gone now, their fight evidently hadn’t been devastating enough to make him miss going to class. _

_ Veronica still had the majority of her belongings in boxes at Alicia’s, so it hadn’t taken her very long to grab all of her things from the penthouse. She ran her fingers over her key-card one last time before she left it on the table in front of the couch. For a split second ‘a bow?’ and ‘I only want you’ echoed through her mind before the anger over what had happened to her dad crept back in again. She was determined to find whoever was responsible and Logan could just go to hell if he didn’t understand why she had lied to be able to do that. She glanced over her shoulder one last time before she let the heavy door slam behind her. _

_ By the time she made it back to the Mars Investigations office it had started raining again. First they’d had an unusually wet spring, and now it seemed as if the same was going to be true for their winter as well. She didn’t really have another convenient place to stay at, so until she came up with a better plan and enough money, she’d decided to just live out of the office. A couple months before the hit-and-run, her dad had taken a case for a guy who ran a furniture store, and in addition to cash payment on the case, he’d given Keith a new sofa that pulled out into a bed. She was sure that with the balance of what was left in her dad’s bank account that she could pay rent on the office for several months. As long as she started taking paying cases while she continued to work on her dad’s case, she should be fine. _

_ She’d been sitting in the car for a few minutes, hoping the rain would let up, but finally gave up on that idea and bolted for the door. As she fumbled with her keys under the awning, the wind blew the rain in at her, completely soaking her from head to toe. She heard a weak little cry and looked down by her feet to see a pair of green eyes staring back up at her. Her first instinct was to leave the little soaked-to-the-bone, gray kitten there, but when it meowed again and gave Veronica such a pleading look, she couldn’t help but scoop it up and take it in with her. Maybe there was some small part of her deep down that was still a marshmallow after all. ~~~ _

**_A/N - I'd forgotten until rewatching some of the Troy episodes that Veronica had teased him about quid pro quo in one episode, and he'd replied that this great nation of ours was built on quid pro quo. I know Aaron says that to Kendall too, but it was in season 1 between Veronica and Troy first._ **

**_Also John Jacobi is Aaron Ashmore’s name on Killjoys and Yalena Yardeen is the name of his partner, although she goes by Dutch, so that’s where the 2 alias names came from. The other Killjoys reference is Lucy the cat. Their ship (who's sort of like a character since she talks to them) is called Lucy and even though she's basically just a robot/machine, Dutch accuses her of liking Johnny more, which is why Lucy the cat also likes Troy more. There’s a funny scene in one episode where Dutch can only get Lucy to unlock the door by saying Johnny was in trouble even though protocal wouldn’t allow the computer to unlock the door._ **

**_And sorry there wasn't more Veronica and Logan interaction this time. They are still in a very awkward uneasy place right now considering their past and the current situation. Given their history it's not like they were going to just jump right back to being great friends again. There will be upcoming flashbacks to good times though, even if the present is grim._ **


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m hoping to keep the updates on this one pretty frequent if I can. Likely every 4 days if that works out. Not only is the tone much different than my other stories, but I’m also trying to be less verbose and letting the reader figure things out more too. Of course the risk with that is mis-interpretation, so please feel free to ask me questions if something doesn’t seem clear or to share your thoughts so I can try to detect things that didn’t come across as I intended. A great example was chatting with a reader about Veronica mentioning Logan should also get checked for STD’s when he went for the sterility test. They read it as her attacking him for sleeping around, but it was intended to be her worried that he could have gotten something from Hannah if she was sleeping with someone else. And there was another question about V and school. In this story she never did go back to college after Keith died. I’d love to clear up other confusions if people want to ask about them, at least if I can. I may just have to say to wait for a future chapter too. 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone reading this. Please let me know what you think of this chapter when you’re finished. And thanks to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this!
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

Veronica took a quick shower and then put on her robe while she did her hair and makeup. Once she was done getting ready in the bathroom, she stepped out into her room to finish getting dressed. She opened the top drawer of her dresser and pulled out the small wooden box where she kept her jewelry to find the necklace that matched the dress she was planning to wear to dinner. Her hand brushed against the soft velvet of another box that was also in the drawer as she pulled the wooden one out. She took a deep breath as she set the wooden box on the top of the dresser and slowly reached back in to touch the other box again. She hadn’t actually taken it out of the dresser since she’d moved all of her stuff into the apartment. She felt her pulse quicken as she hesitantly let her fingers caress the soft velvet, running from one end to the other a few times before she finally wrapped her fingers around it and pulled it out of the drawer.

She sat it on top of the dresser next to the wooden box and stared at it for a moment.  _ It’s not like it’s Pandora’s box, Veronica. _ She took a deep breath and opened the lid, staring at the necklace inside for a few seconds before she let her fingers trace over the light blue and green gemstones.  _ Aquamarine and Peridot… our birthstones.  _ Of course seeing Logan again after all these years would bring a flood of memories back that she’d tried to keep buried.

_ Flashback ~~~ _

_ Veronica stretched out on the satin sheets and enjoyed the perfect cool air that gently blew out from the central-air vent. It was just cold enough to cause small goosebumps to form on her naked body, but it felt refreshing considering how hot she’d been only minutes before. Just one of the many perks about having a boyfriend with a suite in a luxurious hotel, especially during one of Neptune’s notorious August heat waves. She smiled blissfully when Logan returned to the room with the fruits of yet another one of those perks - around the clock privilege to room service for penthouse guests. _

_ Logan gave her a lascivious grin as he carried the silver tray over and set it on the bed. It seemed as if he was focusing more on her naked body than where he was actually setting the tray given the way he clumsily set it down. “God, you’re gorgeous,” Logan mumbled as he leaned toward her to capture her lips with his own. _

_ “The things guys will say to get past second base,” Veronica teased as their mouths separated. _

_ “Dessert and compliments,” Logan replied as he slipped off his sweat pants and climbed back on the bed with her. “Do you think that might get me to third?” he asked playfully as he situated himself behind her and started placing kisses on her shoulder. _

_ “Depends on if you got my dessert order right,” Veronica volleyed back as she pulled the silver lid off of her plate. “Mmmm… good boy,” she purred as she reached for the spoon and dug into the large piece of chocolate lava cake. “Mmmm,” she moaned again as the chocolate sensation filled her mouth and Logan’s fingers sought out third base. She let her head roll back onto his chest as his ministrations sent waves of pleasure through her. _

_ “Don’t forget about your dessert,” Logan teased huskily into her ear before nibbling on her earlobe. He chuckled softly and then pulled his fingers away, moving his hands to her hips instead. _

_ “Ever the tease,” she countered as she took a deep breath and then sat back up for another bite of the gooey dessert. She glanced over her shoulder when he didn’t immediately retort and found him looking at her with an expression she couldn’t quite identify. “What?” she asked self-consciously. “Did I grow a second head or something?” _

_ Logan shook his head and a small smile ghosted across his lips. “Sorry… just thinking,” he answered before placing a slow kiss where her neck met her shoulder. _

_ “Hmm… that explains the look of befuddlement on your face,” she teased as she turned toward her dessert again. _

_ “I um…” She hadn’t heard him be this uncertain in longer than she could remember, so she set down the spoon so that she could partly turn toward him. He gave her a shy smile as he looked down at the bed for a moment before nervously glancing back up at her. “I want to take you somewhere,” he started again, sounding slightly more confident, but she could still detect hesitation in his tone. _

_ “Well I’m a bit underdressed unless that place is a nude beach,” she replied with a coy smile, trying to lighten whatever serious mood he seemed to be slipping into. After everything that had happened months earlier, she really wasn’t ready to go back down that path again. The last month or so she’d finally started feeling better and had not missed the constant look of concern that had been in Logan’s eyes during all those weeks prior. Not that she didn’t appreciate how much he had worried about her then, but it was nice to feel like things had turned a corner. _

_ Her comment at least caused his lip to quirk up in an almost naughty smile. She knew it probably wouldn’t be hard to distract him from whatever he was going to propose if she didn’t like where this conversation was headed. She certainly wasn't above distracting him with sex if it meant she could keep things easy and stress free. _

_ “Your birthday is less than two weeks away,” he continued, his voice taking on just a hint of nervousness again. “And I was thinking it might be nice to get out of Neptune for a little while before I go back to school again.” _

_ She could understand why he was hesitant to bring this up, not knowing exactly how she might react to that idea. But honestly, not being in Neptune with all the reminders of prior birthdays was probably the best thing he could have suggested. _

_ “I’d like that,” she replied with a smile. She could tell he had been expecting to need to convince her and the surprised expression that formed on his face definitely gave him away. _

_ “Okay… great. Any place you’d like to go,” he offered after a second of apparently getting himself back on track. “Domestic, international… even a private island with our own nude beach,” he added as his smile showed that he’d clearly not forgotten whatever he’d imagined when she’d first made that comment. _

_ Veronica laughed wistfully and leaned in to kiss him soundly. “Surprise me,” she replied after the kiss. _

_ She could tell he was also surprised by that, but nodded his agreement. “I um… hold on.” He leaned toward the edge of the bed and then started to open the drawer in the nightstand on his side of the bed. “I have an early gift for you,” he explained as he pulled a black velvet box out of the drawer. He held the box out toward her with a hopeful look on his face. _

_ She shook her head in a slightly admonishing way, but took the box anyway. “You know I’ve never been able to turn down early gifts,” she said as she started to open it. “Oh, Logan, it’s beautiful,” she gushed as she ran her fingers over the light blue and light green gemstones. _

_ “They’re actually both of our birthstones,” Logan said as he took the necklace out of the box and carefully placed it round her neck. Veronica lifted up her hair so he could clasp it behind her neck. “And they do blend together perfectly.” _

_ “Just like us,” Veronica said as she leaned in to kiss him again. _

_ “Just like us,” Logan repeated back as he pulled her onto his lap and deepened the kiss. ~~~ _

Veronica slammed the box shut as she heard her apartment door open.

“Hey, baby, you home?” Troy called out from the other room.

“In here,” Veronica replied as she tossed the black box into the back of the drawer. She opened the wooden box and grabbed the necklace she’d wanted to wear as she heard Troy’s footsteps get closer, but then she heard him stop a bit short of the room. She was thankful for a few extra seconds to remove the memories of Logan from her head before she had to face Troy. She heard Troy make a slight grunting sound and deduced he was likely bending down to pick up Lucy. She then heard his voice softly say ‘how’s my girl?’ as he started walking again. 

“Well  _ this girl _ isn’t quite ready to go to dinner yet,” Veronica teased as he walked through the doorway.

She saw his eyes grow a bit wider as his eyes landed on her. She gave him a coy smile and a little wave. He let out a low whistle and tossed Lucy onto the bed.

“What?” she asked defensively. “I dress up sometimes?” Of course, to be fair, it had been quite a while since she’d gotten this fancied up with her hair in curls and a little more makeup than she normally wore.

Troy moved closer to her and she could see the wild hungry look in his eyes. Before he was able to put his hands or his mouth on her, she held up the necklace, abruptly stopping his advance. She tilted her head in a silent request and he let out a soft sigh as he took the necklace from her. She laughed slightly as she turned her back toward him and moved her hair out of his way. Of course the exposed neckline was just as inviting as her standing there in nothing but a silk robe, and instead of the necklace slipping around her neck, his lips lightly trailed from below her ear down her neck toward her shoulder causing a soft gasp to escape her. He had evidently been waiting for an objection and when she only tilted her head a bit more to give him easier access, he didn’t hesitate to let his hands eagerly wrap around her and slip past the silk fabric.

“Our reservation isn’t for another forty-five minutes,” he shared breathlessly between kisses.

“Hmm… you don’t say?” she coyly replied, leaning back against him and letting out a satisfied sigh. “Just don’t muss up my lovely hair and makeup,” she teased as Troy slipped the robe off her shoulders and she felt it puddle on the ground around her feet.

\-----------------------------------------------

The  Épique was the latest, posh restaurant to open in Neptune. It was a French bistro that had opened in a revitalized part of the downtown district. Troy had mentioned going there a couple of times, but they hadn’t gotten around to it yet. Maybe a small part of her had been avoiding it due to the name, but she knew she was just being ridiculous and really did want to smooth things over with Troy since she knew he still wasn’t happy she’d be working for Logan.

Because of limited parking in the area, they had to park a short ways up the street and walk back to the restaurant. Troy shared his editor’s reaction to his article as they walked up the sidewalk together since they had been preoccupied with other activities back at her apartment. Veronica wasn’t at all surprised that his editor had liked it because he really was a great writer. He’d been offered assignments for a couple of other papers that he previously wrote for back East, but he had turned them down, claiming that he didn’t want to leave California, but she knew it was more that he didn’t want to leave her.

Veronica was so focused on listening to Troy’s detailed retelling of his meeting with his editor earlier that day that she didn’t notice a small group of people coming from the opposite direction until they were almost at the door of the bistro.

“Veronica?” one of them asked, drawing her attention away from Troy. She felt her pulse quicken slightly as she looked up and saw Casey Gant, who had been the one to say her name, standing with Logan and Hannah.

“Hi,” she said, trying to act as cool as possible. She felt Troy’s grip around her waist tighten slightly as he also realized who they were standing face to face with on the sidewalk.

She thought that she noticed Logan’s jaw clench momentarily, but he kept a neutral expression on his face. He had been walking with his hands in his pockets and Hannah’s arm had been linked through his. As they all stopped, Hannah reached up with her free hand to place it on Logan’s bicep, closing the space between their bodies as well. Veronica wasn’t sure if it was a slightly possessive reaction, though she didn’t detect any ill will in Hannah’s expression.

“Oh, hey… I remember you… Troy, right?” Casey continued as he reached his hand out to shake Troy’s. “You were friends with Duncan Kane? Went to Neptune High for a few months at the start of my senior year?”

“Yep,” Troy answered, with what Veronica could tell was forced civility. “Troy Vandegraff. Casey Gant, right?”

Casey nodded as he pulled his hand back. “I’m sure you remember Logan Echolls too?” Casey asked as he looked between Troy and Logan. Both men nodded, although neither said a word. “And this is Logan’s lovely wife, Hannah,” Casey added as he gestured toward Hannah and then reached out and tenderly squeezed her shoulder. “Not only is she beautiful, but she was also kind enough to let me tag along to dinner with them when my own date cancelled on me.”

Hannah gave both Veronica and Troy a polite smile as she said hello. She then went on to reaffirm for Casey that both she and Logan loved spending time with him and that he was always welcome to join them. Veronica couldn’t help but pick up on an almost intimate familiarity between Casey and Hannah as they interacted. Veronica wasn’t terribly surprised to see them all together since she knew that after graduating from Hearst, Logan had taken a position with Casey Gant’s publishing company, but she was a little surprised at how cozy Casey and Hannah seemed to be.

“Hannah also went to Neptune High for a while, but she was a couple of years behind us,” Casey continued to explain as he smiled fondly at Hannah. “It must have been fate or something that brought her back, right into the path of her long lost love, Logan,” Casey added with a playful smirk at the married couple. Veronica swallowed past the lump she suddenly felt in her throat. She wasn’t surprised that Casey wouldn’t know about her and Logan dating, since most of that had happened after Casey had left Neptune, but she was a little surprised at how much his comment had bothered her.

“Nice to meet you,” Troy said as he gave Hannah a friendlier smile than he’d given Logan. “Well, it was great running into you all, but we have reservations, so…” he gestured toward the bistro door with his head and started pulling Veronica in that direction as well. She hoped he hadn’t noticed her involuntary reaction to Casey’s last comment.

“What a coincidence,” Casey continued with a large friendly smile. “So do we.” He reached out and opened the door gesturing with his hand as he opened it. “After you.”

_ Of all the restaurants, after all these years, what are the odds that this would happen? _ Veronica gave Casey a warm smile and mumbled ‘thanks’ as she walked through the door with Troy following closely behind.

“We could go someplace else,” Veronica quietly whispered to Troy as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders once they were inside.

“I don’t mind staying here, but only if you’re okay with it,” he quietly replied. Veronica shrugged and nodded. It probably would seem suspicious if they left right after running into the other three.

Troy gave his name to the hostess and she told them that it would still be a few minute’s wait for  their table to be ready. She asked the other group for what name their reservations were under and Logan finally spoke for the first time since they’d run into them. “Echolls,” he answered in a slightly terse tone.

“Welcome to  Épique , Mr. Echolls. I’d be happy to show you to your table,” the hostess chirped as she gave him a bright smile and started to lead them away.

“Enjoy your dinner,” Casey said as he gave a quick wave back to Veronica and Troy.

“Yeah, you too,” Veronica managed to reply as she gave Casey a quick nod.

“Must be nice to be the son of a notorious actor,” Troy mumbled as the other three disappeared into the restaurant.

Veronica tugged on his shirt, pulling him closer to her. “If you’re going to act like a jealous jackass, maybe we should go someplace else.” She paused and softened her look slightly. “We’re supposed to be celebrating  _ your _ article remember. I don’t want to let Logan being here ruin this for you,” she added with sincerity.

Troy took a short breath and shook his head before he leaned in to kiss her. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Forget I said that. I’d be an idiot to be jealous of him. I’m the one here with you,” he replied with a loving smile.

“Yeah, you are,” Veronica replied back with a grin and gave him another quick kiss.  

It only took about five minutes for the hostess to seat them at a table. Unfortunately, the table was located fairly close to the table where Logan, Hannah and Casey had been seated. Luckily Logan’s back was toward Veronica so she didn’t have to stare at him throughout the entire meal, although she did have a pretty good view of Hannah, who was sitting on Logan’s right, and Casey who was sitting across from him. Veronica hoped that Logan remembered what she’d told him about not acting any different than normal so that Hannah wouldn’t suspect something was going on. From her viewpoint it seemed as if  Hannah and Casey were much more engaged in conversation, and she wondered if that was normal or not and whether Logan’s behavior was going to raise any alarms. Hannah seemed to be completely happy talking to Casey though, and Veronica never noticed her even giving Logan any concerned or angry glances. In fact, it was as if Logan had just faded away and wasn’t even there. Occasionally she noticed them asking Logan something and he would nod or shake his head as he replied, but it still seemed as if the other two were mainly just talking and laughing with each other.

She heard Troy sigh slightly and immediately realized why. “I’m sorry… investigator mode… hard to shut that off.”

“I know…” Troy mumbled as he looked down at his food. “I know I shouldn’t be surprised since you’re working a case. It’s fine.” He shook his head slightly as if regretting what he was about to say. “She does look awfully chummy with Casey.”

Veronica gave him a proud smile and nodded. Of course he’d pick up on that too. Sometimes she wondered which one of them was actually the better detective.

_ Flashback ~~~ _

_ Veronica wasn't sure how long they had stood there kissing in the alley after their evasive maneuvers to get out of harm’s way, but eventually Troy pulled away enough to breathlessly suggest that they should probably get out of there. Veronica had nodded her agreement and let him wrap his arm around her shoulders to make their way back to his car. As they walked she couldn't help but second guess kissing him, but it had just felt so natural getting caught up in the moment. _

_ Troy opened the door for her and gave her a hesitant look, making her wonder if he'd regretted it now too. That thought was quickly erased as his hands cupped her face and he leaned in to kiss her again. He chuckled softly as he pulled away from her. "Sorry, just wanted to kiss you again before you come to your senses and realize what you're doing." _

_ "Smart plan," she teased with a sly grin before she climbed into the car. Troy laughed softly as he shook his head and closed the door behind her. _

_ Veronica had met him outside of his place earlier before they'd driven to the courthouse to tail the judge so her car was still at Troy’s place. As they drove back to where he lived, Veronica thanked him for pulling her out before something did actually happen to her at the bar. She also told him about what she'd walked into in the backroom. She could easily tell how upset he was that she’d walked into such a potentially dangerous situation when he’d told her that he didn’t think it was a good idea at the start. She pointed out that at least the footage she recorded would help with the article he was trying to write. _

_ "Have you come to your senses already or would you like to come upstairs?" Troy asked as he parked in front of his building. She could tell that he was trying to sound nonchalant, but she guessed he was feeling anything but that. _

_ “I could use a drink,” Veronica answered coyly as she opened her door. _

_ Troy lived in a studio loft above some businesses in a section of Neptune that was not far from the Mars Investigations office. He unlocked an outside door that opened to stairs and gestured for Veronica to go first. She stopped at the small landing at the top of the stairs, not sure which door was his since there was one on either side of the landing. He gestured to the right with his head and then stepped past her to unlock the door to his loft. He held the door again for her to walk in first. There weren’t any lights on inside the loft, but there was enough light coming in from the street light outside for her to walk in and not bump into anything. Troy quickly flicked on the overhead lights as he walked in behind her and closed the door. _

_ “It’s so… small,” Veronica said in surprise as she looked around the now fully illuminated loft. There was a small kitchen area which included a breakfast bar with a couple of stools at it immediately to her right. He had a small sitting area with a couch and single chair with a couple tables flanking each of them. Next to that was his bed, which had a screen divider partly separating it from the living area. _

_ “Ah… three words a guy really never wants to hear,” Troy replied with a laugh. “Good thing I’m reasonably comfortable with my masculinity.” _

_ Veronica gave him a playful grin as she leaned a little closer to him. “You were pressed pretty snugly against me in the alley; I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” she commented in a sultry tone. She couldn’t help but laugh at the surprised expression that appeared on his face as he opened his mouth and then closed it again. Apparently she’d left him speechless with that. “So… about that drink?” she suggested, giving him an out from feeling too awkward. _

_ He gave her a grateful smile and blew out a slow breath as he nodded. “Yeah… I’ve got beer or…” he trailed off and looked almost embarrassed. She raised her eyebrows as she waited for him to continue. “Or some hard strawberry lemonade.” _

_ “Hmm… not sure that helps much with your attempt to justify your masculinity, but I guess that’s not as bad as wine coolers,” she teased. “I’ll take a beer.” _

_ Troy nodded and she walked over to take a seat on the couch. He joined her a minute later with two opened beers and handed her one. He held his up for a toast after she took the one he offered her. “To fortuitous coincidences,” he said with a wistful glint in his eye. She nodded and clinked her bottle against his. _

_ She took a healthy swig of the beer and then glanced over to look at him. He had only taken a quick sip and was looking at her in a way she remembered from long ago. She had dated a couple of guys after her split from Logan so she wasn’t desperate for contact with the opposite sex, but the feelings that kissing him earlier had stirred up were definitely still there. She gave him a demure smile and leaned toward him slightly. That was all it took for his lips to crash into hers again. The fire that had been there earlier outside of the bar was back instantly and her body craved more than just the touch of his lips against hers. She carefully set her beer down while they continued to kiss and pushed him back slightly, following his body with her own, so that she was practically lying on top of him. She heard him fumble with setting his bottle down as well before his hands were on her back, pulling her firmly against his body. It didn’t take long for the kissing to intensify even more and for her to start moving her body against his. _

_ “Wait…” he breathlessly whispered as he pushed her away slightly. She gave him a puzzled look before trying to kiss him again, but he turned his head so she couldn’t reach his lips. She let out a frustrated huff and then sat back up, not sure what had just happened to cause him to stop. “I need to show you something,” Troy quickly blurted out, surprising her a bit. _

_ She didn’t miss a beat though before she quipped back at him. “Yeah… that’s typically how this works… you show me yours… I’ll show you mine… then I’ll touch yours… and you…” _

_ “Veronica,” he abruptly interrupted as he shook his head slightly. She was expecting him to at least laugh at her joke, but he looked completely serious. _

_ He got up from the couch and walked over to a small desk that was against the wall by his bed. He grabbed a manila envelope and then walked back over to her. “I need to show you this first…” He paused and took a deep breath, seeming to struggle for a second before he continued with what he wanted to say. “Look, I know I totally fucked everything up all those years ago and I don’t want to do it again… I don’t want there to be any secrets or lies this time.” _

_ Veronica gave him a perplexed look but took the envelope that he was holding out to her. She had absolutely no idea what could be in the envelope, and the worried expression on his face didn’t instill much confidence. He watched her carefully as she undid the clasp and looked inside. She pulled out several photos that were in the envelope. They were pictures of the judge with a woman who was clearly not his wife. “How?” she asked as she stared at the photos. He hadn’t told her about any opportunities he’d had to follow the judge without her since they started working on the case together. And then it hit her. “You had these all along… when we first met at the bar… you already had the money shots I needed?” she asked incredulously. _

_ “I’m so sorry, Veronica. I just… I just wanted to spend some time with you again. Get to know you again. I fully intended to give them to you when we were done. But now… I want you to trust me… to not see me as a fucked up asshole like I was in high school… but if I didn’t tell you… please believe me that I really didn’t do this maliciously.” _

_ Veronica could clearly see the sincerity in his expression. A part of her was furious that he’d conned her into working on his case with him when he had these all along, but another part of her was actually thankful. She hadn’t even realized how isolated and lonely she’d been lately until he showed up and furtively forced his way into her life. Another part of her was impressed that he’d been able to get the shots that she’d been trying to get for a couple of weeks before she’d run into him that first night. She shook her head slightly and then leaned back in to kiss him again. _

_ “You’re still giving me half of your commission,” she said in a defiant tone after their lips separated. _

_ “Don’t forget the by-line too, Yalena Yardeen,” Troy replied back with an elated smile on his lips. ~~~ _

**_A/N - So this is all the backstory now about how Veronica and Troy ended up together. I’m sure a lot of you will be happy to know that Troy does not pop up again until Chapter 8, so the next two are only Logan & Veronica related. _ **


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thanks to everyone who is reading this! Just FYI for people reading on AO3 that FF is having some review issues. (I commented on that in my FF version) Please be sure to take a few minutes to let me know what you think of this chapter when you’re finished. 
> 
> Thinking about a few of the prior comments, I do want to say that there’s still a lot that hasn’t been revealed yet since we are only about half way done at this point. I know some people aren’t always happy with how Veronica and/or Logan may be acting at times in this, but these characters are different than what you may be expecting based on the movie or other stories out there. They are definitely the most imperfect versions of them that I’ve written, but they’ve also had to deal with more trauma than what had happened through season 3 of the show. While some things they are doing might seem OOC versus what you’ve come to expect from the canon version of them after the show ended with the movie and books, these two people have not traveled the same road as those 2 characters at all. 
> 
> Thanks also to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this and for helping with the destination mentioned in the flashback.
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

After observing him at dinner, Veronica couldn’t help but be suspicious of Casey being the one that Hannah was having the affair with. He’d have access to  Logan’s schedule given that Logan worked in the marketing department at his publishing company. Gant Publishing had several magazines that they published, and Logan had mentioned to Veronica that he was involved with securing advertising accounts for the magazines. There was a large firm in San Francisco that Logan worked with, so at least once a month he had to fly up there for meetings. When he’d first come to ask Veronica to take the case, he’d told her that one of the reasons he’d initially suspected something was going on was because Hannah had all of a sudden stopped going with him on those business trips.

Even though it may have been a little uncomfortable at the time, Logan had provided Veronica with some details of his life with Hannah so that she’d have enough information to work on the case. Hannah had taken some courses at Hearst when she’d first came back to Neptune, but then she had ended up taking a job as a graphic designer for a web publishing company and stopped going to school to work there part time. Of course with Logan’s wealth and position at Gant Publications, she really didn’t need to work, but Logan had implied that Hannah had enjoyed doing it and insisted on doing something to contribute to their finances as well. Her part-time status and scheduling flexibility had made it easy for her to accompany him on his trips, but about four months ago, she had started making excuses for why she couldn’t go. Logan had told Veronica that at first he didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t until almost two months had gone by and she still wasn’t wanting to join him that he’d gotten suspicious. Veronica had only prodded a little bit, but from what she could tell, Logan didn’t seem to feel like he’d done something to make Hannah want to stop going with him on the trips. 

If Hannah was having an affair with Casey, it would likely be easy for the two of them to hide it from Logan. Calls on her cell phone to Gant Publishing wouldn’t be suspicious at all if she called the reception desk and was connected to one of their offices. Veronica had been debating all morning about whether to ask Logan if he thought that could be a possibility or if she should just do some surveillance on both Casey and Hannah first to see if she could find anything.

Veronica had grabbed some lunch on her way back from following a lead on one of her other cases and headed back to Mars Investigations to eat there before she went back out for the afternoon. Logan had given Veronica enough information about Hannah’s schedule for her to do some light surveillance, and she decided she might get started on that before she asked Logan about Casey’s relationship with Hannah. She certainly didn’t need to make Logan suspicious of everyone and have him inadvertently tip off Hannah that he thought something was wrong.  Veronica was going through the case file and refreshing herself on what she’d written down from her meeting with Logan when she heard the door to the office open.

“Veronica?” Logan’s soft familiar voice carried down the hall and into the office.

She let out a deep sigh, not really sure she was ready to deal with him again so soon, but she quickly realized there wasn’t much choice at this point. “In here,” she called out rather than getting up to go out and greet him. She closed the file folder and braced herself as his footsteps neared the door.

“Hey,” he said hesitantly as he stood in the doorway giving her an uncertain look.

“Hi,” she said as she furrowed her brow slightly. “I’m hoping you’re not actually planning on stopping by here every day to see if I have any new information for you,” she commented, realizing as it left her mouth that it sounded a bit harsh. _ Why can’t I ever be a bit more civil with him? _ She tried to recover quickly with a teasing grin, but wasn’t sure how he would react to what she’d said. Once upon a time she knew he’d just take that as a playful jab, but that seemed like a lifetime ago now.

“Oh… no,” he said as he shook his head. She was relieved that she didn’t immediately get a hurt or angry reaction this time. “I um… I didn’t expect to run into you last night and we hadn’t really discussed what I should do if that happened… and I um… I felt like I may have come across as being rude, and I didn’t want you to be upset with me about that.”

“Oh,” she replied, completely taken by surprise by his confession. “No… you did fine… I didn’t expect you to act any differently than you did.”

“Okay good… I just,” Logan continued, still standing awkwardly in the middle of the doorway. “I just thought I should stop by and apologize, just in case.” He shrugged slightly and she wondered just how uncomfortable he felt because based on his posture, she’d guess he was feeling extremely awkward.

Veronica nodded and gave him a small smile, hoping it would ease his mind a little. “Hey… speaking of last night. If you have a minute, I do have a few questions.” He nodded and she gestured to the chair in front of her desk. She decided while he was there, it was as good a time as any to just ask about Hannah and Casey. She let him get comfortable in the seat before she spoke again. “I couldn’t help but notice that Hannah and Casey seemed awfully comfortable with each other last night.”

“Yeah,” Logan replied with a thoughtful expression on his face. “I hadn’t considered that he might know what’s going on.” He paused for another second apparently still thinking about it. “Maybe she’s confided in him since they’re so close. If she was feeling guilty about something, I could see her going to him for advice.”

Veronica squished up her nose as she looked at him with a bit of disbelief.  _ Has Logan really grown that naïve that he wouldn’t suspect something if they are that close? _

“What?” he asked, apparently able to tell she had something else to say based on her expression.

Veronica let out a loud sigh and shook her head. “Logan, what if  _ Casey’s _ the one that she’s having the affair with?”

“Oh,” Logan said and then laughed loudly. She actually couldn’t remember the last time she’d heard him laugh like that and it took her a bit by surprise.

Now it was her turn to give him a confused look. “Why is that so funny?” she asked incredulously.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he regained his composure after a few seconds of laughing. Although, he still had a very amused look on his face. “Have you actually  _ investigated  _ Casey?” he asked next.

Veronica shook her head as she answered him. “No, I haven’t had a chance to yet.”

“Good… because if you had and were  _ still  _ coming to that conclusion I’d be a bit worried about how your P.I. business was going,” Logan quickly replied with a smirk still on his face. She gave him an annoyed look and waited for him to continue. “Casey doesn’t date women these days… hasn’t for several years now,” he explained.

“Ohhhh…” Veronica said slowly as she nodded in understanding, not expecting that explanation at all. “You’re sure?” she asked, wanting to be sure they could rule out Casey as the man that Hannah had been seeing.

“Yeah, but it was an amusing theory, so thanks for that.” He paused and gave her a bashful smile. “Honestly, I’m not sure when I’ve actually laughed lately, so I really do appreciate it.”

She chuckled slightly and shrugged. She could relate to being in a position where she didn’t have much to laugh about, although luckily that time was behind her now. “Well, I’m glad I could provide  _ some  _ amusement. I’ll be sure to add that to your bill,” she teased back with a genuine smile on her face.

“Well worth the money,” Logan replied with a mischievous grin. It was the first time the two of them had both been genuinely smiling and looking at each other in years, and it made Veronica realize how much she’d missed him. She had missed the way his eyes would light up when he was truly happy about something. She had missed being the reason he used to look like that.

_ Flashback ~~~ _

_ Casa  _ _ Paraíso had certainly lived up to its name. Being there for the past seven days was definitely the closest to paradise Veronica had ever known. The villa belonged to a lady who had been Lynn’s first publicist and even though Aaron had insisted Lynn use his own publicist when they got together, Gwendolen had remained close friends with Lynn throughout the years. Logan had explained to Veronica on their flight there that one of the reasons that Gwendolen and her late husband, Thomas, had picked the house in Playa Guiones on the Pacific side of Costa Rica was due to the fact that guiones was the Spanish word for scripts and Thomas had been a screenwriter. Not only was the location absolutely gorgeous, but the surfing was ideal there for Logan as well. They’d spent the week sightseeing, enjoying the beach, eating delicious food and finding a sense of peace that neither of them had ever really known before, at least not together.   _

_ Veronica had dozed off in the hammock after waking up early to eat breakfast with Logan before he went out to do some surfing. She woke up to cool drops of water falling against her warm bare stomach. “Hey, no dripping water on the birthday girl,” she teased sleepily as she barely cracked an eye open to see Logan smiling down on her. She knew from the wolfish grin on his face, that she was in for more than just a few drops of water. She watched through her half opened eyelids as he effortlessly lifted one of his long legs over the hammock so he was straddling over the top of her. She could feel a bit more of the cool salt water drip off his body onto hers, but she really couldn’t bring herself to complain. His arms carefully grabbed part of the hammock above her head to give him a little bit of stability before he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. The taste of just a hint of saltwater, mixed in with that taste that was uniquely Logan, made heat start to build up in her stomach as he kissed her passionately. _

_ “Happy birthday, Bobcat,” Logan whispered against her lips. _

_ “Mmm… since I’m the birthday girl, you take the bottom,” she purred as she pushed him while she repositioned her legs so he could sit on the hammock too. They’d had a week of practice to figure out the best way to both enjoy the hammock and he easily laid back and pulled her on top of him. “How was the surf?” she asked lazily as his cool hands slowly stroked up and down her warm back. _

_ “Good,” he replied as he smiled up at her a little mischievously. “How was your nap?” _

_ “Mmm…” she moaned seductively as she shifted to suck on his ear lobe. “I had a very explicit dream involving you… should I reenact it for you?” she replied lasciviously. _

_ Logan chuckled dangerously low while a slight groan escaped his lips. “Mmm… can we just stay here in Costa Rica forever?” he wistfully asked as he turned his head to see her face. Veronica gave him one of her fake ‘sure why not’ looks, assuming he was only teasing. “Seriously though,” he continued, causing her to pause and shift up on her elbows on his chest so she could see him better. She could tell by his tone that this wasn’t just him joking with her about it now. “Why couldn’t we just move here? We both love it here, right? I could quit school and we could both just live here off of my inherited wealth.” Even though he’d said the last part with a bit of fake pretentiousness, she knew he was being completely serious about the rest. _

_ Veronica scoffed slightly at him but gave him an amused grin. “ _ Here _ , here? I know we live in a hotel right now in Neptune, but neither option seems like a good long term plan. Swapping a hotel penthouse for a vacation rental… I was thinking eventually we’d move into a real house.” _

_ Logan smiled and reached up to brush some strands of hair back behind her ear. “What if I bought  _ this  _ house, though?” Veronica quirked an eyebrow at him, not exactly sure if that was a confession or a question. A slightly sheepish look formed on Logan’s face and she was pretty sure it was the former now. “Gwen hasn’t been here since Thomas died. She told me it’s just too painful of a reminder for her now. She offered to sell it to me. So I….” he trailed off, obviously trying to gauge her reaction. When she didn’t immediately freak out he continued. “So I bought it… and put it in your name… as a birthday present.” _

_ “Logan!” she finally protested. “You can’t buy me a house in Costa Rica for my birthday… that’s…. that’s just way too much. Normal people don’t do that, you know?” _

_ “Since when have we ever been normal, Veronica?” he asked with an amused grin. _

_ She laughed softly and shook her head. “Still… it’s too much Logan.” _

_ “Fine… I’ll have Morty switch it to my name,” he replied and traced a finger across her cheek with a thoughtful look on his face. “But you didn’t really answer my question. What if we just stayed here? I’ve never been this happy in my entire life, Veronica. Being here, with you. Everything is so perfect… it’s like a fresh start for both of us.” Veronica could easily see how sincere he actually was, but that was way too huge of a leap for her. _

_ “I love you,” Veronica replied as she looked tenderly at him. “But our friends are in Neptune. Our lives are there. We can come back to visit whenever you want since you apparently own this place now, but we can’t just live here. You know that, right?” _

_ Logan nodded and pressed his lips to hers. “I know… can’t blame me for trying. Waking up with you every morning in paradise was too tempting to just pass up, though. But honestly waking up with you anywhere is all I really need to be happy,” he replied with bright eyes and a loving smile on his lips. ~~~ _

\------------------------------------------------

Stopping by to apologize wasn’t the only reason Logan had ended up at Mars Investigations, and while he’d tried to talk himself out it all morning, he was always a glutton for punishment. Since Veronica had already asked him a question about the night before, he hoped she wouldn’t find it odd if he did as well. He had basically already made it the point of stopping by, even though his initial excuse was a bit lame. “So, you and Troy?” he found himself asking as his amusement of her accusing Casey quickly slipped away. He’d tried not to be jealous about her being with Troy, which seemed nearly impossible, but he did want to be sure that Veronica wasn’t in a bad relationship either. Troy had been a dirt-bag in high school, and while Logan knew better than anyone that people could change, he’d still been completely surprised when he saw the two of them together the night before. Even after all this time, and no matter how ugly of a breakup they’d had, he still cared about her well being and wasn’t going to try to deny that to himself.

He watched as Veronica immediately shifted into defensive mode, and, even though that really hadn’t been his intention, he wasn’t surprised either. He quickly tried to take a new approach. “I guess I was a little surprised to see the two of you together. I didn’t even realize he was back in Neptune.”

“Yeah,” Veronica replied guardedly. “I guess we are a bit of an unlikely couple given our history in high school.”

“Yeah... well, I definitely can’t hold anyone’s high school behavior against them, now can I?” he commented somberly. “Have you two been together long?” He couldn’t help but wonder how permanent a thing they had, or if it was just something new and maybe over quickly.

“Just about a year,” Veronica answered with a cautious expression.

_ That’s definitely not a momentary thing. _ “That’s great,” he replied, trying to sound more positive than he felt. “I’m glad you have someone in your life that you can count on.” He did, at least, mean that. Even if that someone couldn’t be him, he had still hoped that she’d find happiness for herself some day. Or at least he’d tried to tell himself that.

Veronica looked a bit conflicted as she smiled and nodded. “Yeah, he’s changed a lot since high school. I guess we all have. He’s a journalist now.”

“Oh,” Logan replied, not expecting that given what he’d remembered of Troy from high school.

“Yeah,” Veronica continued, sounding a bit less guarded, but still a little tense. “He went to Emerson and then started doing freelance stuff after he graduated.”

“Boston, huh?”

“Yeah, he lived there for a while and then just came back to Neptune to work on a story out here a few months before we ran into each other.”

“Well, our magazines are always looking for new writers,” Logan offered, trying hard to seem professional and not petty. “You should let him know that. He could reach out to Casey... or me, and we could put him in touch with the right people if he’s ever looking for new writing assignments.”

Veronica certainly looked surprised by his offer, but smiled a bit more and hesitantly nodded. “Yeah, I’ll do that.” 

Based on her tone, Logan wasn’t sure if she meant it or not, but at least he felt like offering was the mature thing to do. Suddenly he wondered if the slight bit of hesitation he just detected in her reaction might have been due to him and her not wanting to Troy to talk with him. 

“Does he know…” Logan hesitated for a moment, not sure how this was going to come across, but the look Troy had given him the night before had already made him wonder. “Does he know we dated for a while? He seemed a bit… I don’t know…  _ unfriendly _ … last night?”

Veronica let out a slow breath and based on her expression he was pretty sure that he’d called the situation correctly. “Yeah, he knows some of our past. He wasn’t too thrilled when he found out I was working on a case for you.”

Logan felt a bit of panic course through him. He trusted Veronica, not Troy. She obviously noticed his reaction and an apologetic look swept across her face.

“He saw you leaving the other day when you stopped by,” she quickly started to explain “He um… he helps me on cases a lot so I don’t usually keep things like that from him. You can trust him though, Logan. I promise.”

Logan swallowed hard. He knew well enough that when her dad had been alive, the two of them had worked very closely together and she probably knew all the details about most of his cases. It just bothered him that Troy knew what was going on. “Okay… I trust you, so if you say so, then I guess I’ll just have to trust him too,” Logan reluctantly answered.

He noticed Veronica take a deep breath before she continued. “He loves me, Logan, and he’d never do anything to jeopardize any of my cases, okay?”

Logan inhaled deeply and nodded. He wasn’t sure if that revelation actually made him feel any better or not.  _ I should be glad that she has someone that loves her and knows what she’s up to so he can keep her safe. It fucking sucks that it couldn’t be me, but I certainly can’t change that now. _

“I um… I should get going… I’m sure you have work to do,” Logan said feebly as he stood up from the chair. “Oh, here.” He pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket. “I got the login information for our wireless carrier like you asked for.” He laid the paper on the desk and then turned quickly toward the door.

“Logan,” Veronica called out before he made it through the doorway. He took a deep breath and turned back toward her. “Thanks for stopping by to make sure I wasn’t upset about last night. I really do appreciate it.” He could tell that she meant it by the genuine look on her face. Even with that, though, finding out how close she was to Troy still hurt more than he wanted to admit.

He gave her a brief smile and nodded before he turned and quickly made his way to the exterior door.  _ Nothing good ever happens at this office. _ He wasn’t really sure why he kept hoping that might change.

_ Flashback ~~~ _

_ It had completely gutted Logan when he came back from campus and saw Veronica’s keycard on the table. He didn’t even have to walk into the bedroom to know all of her things would be gone. He’d had a terrible feeling in his gut on his way home that afternoon, and though he’d tried to chalk it up to the downpour, apparently he’d been right—something worse than just bad weather was coming. He wouldn’t have even gone to campus except half of his grade for one of his classes was dependent on one specific assignment. He had been trying his damnedest to hold himself together because he didn’t want to end up as devastated and pathetic as the last time Veronica broke up with him. But after seeing her cardkey on the table, he’d gone straight for the mini-bar and grabbed a bottle of scotch, drinking straight from the bottle, not even bothering with a glass. _

_ He kept trying to tell himself that things would get better. That if he gave her space she’d cool down and they could try to work it out. But then two weeks passed and he was barely keeping it together, unable to sleep well because he was too worried about what sort of trouble she might be getting herself into pursuing her dad’s case on her own. She of course hadn’t answered any of his calls or responded to his voice messages which didn’t help at all. He finally broke down and borrowed one of the rental cars that the Grand provided for guests so that he could stealthily try to just make sure she was okay. He wasn’t convinced that any of her friends would actually notify him if something happened to her, which made him feel even worse. He was, however, glad that she had such loyal friends, even if it meant he would be kept completely out of the loop if she was still angry at him. _

_ He’d at least reluctantly wormed out of Wallace that Veronica was living out of the Mars Investigations office, so he knew that much. He wondered if she’d taken Backup there with her for some extra protection. Weevil had offered to take Backup when Veronica started staying at the Grand with Logan since they couldn’t have dogs in the penthouse. Weevil had assured her that he was more than happy to have Backup stay with him and that she could visit him whenever she felt like doing so. Hopefully she was taking Backup with her when she was investigating as well. Logan knew how loyal and protective Backup was and that thought had at least helped him keep some sanity over the past few weeks. _

_ Logan realized that sitting on the street in the middle of the day would be too noticeable, so he waited for it to start to get dark before he drove over in the rental car to check up on her. He parked far enough away that it wouldn’t be too easy for her to spot him, but close enough that he could still see the front of the office. He wasn’t really sure he’d even see her, but thought that if he saw lights and activity up in the office then he’d at least feel a little better that she was doing okay. _

_ He’d only been sitting there for about thirty minutes when he felt like he’d taken another punch to the gut. She looked like she was definitely in investigator mode, with dark clothes and her camera case slung over her shoulder. He hadn’t paid too much attention to the other vehicles on the street, which in hindsight maybe he should have. She turned back toward the building so he couldn’t actually see her face, but the smile on Weevil’s face was clear even from a distance as he helped her into the motorcycle helmet he’d taken off the bike. Logan watched as Weevil climbed onto his motorcycle and then Veronica climbed on behind him, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso before they drove off. _

_ As Logan drove back to the Grand he tried to tell himself that he should be glad that she wasn’t working on the case all by herself. But even he wasn’t able to pull off that lie. ~~~ _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you to everyone who is reading this story! This chapter marks the halfway point. As I’ve said several times before, this version of the main characters is much different than any other way I’ve ever written them before, which has made this challenging for me at times too. I realize there are going to be unhappy readers with some of the choices I’ve made, but I hope people stick around to see how it all unfolds in the end. Conflict and resolution are important for making people care about stories, and this story definitely contains a fair amount of conflict. I’m just hoping that when we get to the final resolution the majority of you are happy with how it all came together.
> 
> As always, thanks to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

Veronica was surprised when, after showing up three days in a row, several days went by without a word from Logan. She had been able to squeeze in some surveillance on Hannah with the information that Logan had provided at their first meeting, but she certainly hadn’t discovered anything worth contacting him about yet. Veronica had been worried that Hannah might recognize her, especially considering they’d just run into each other at dinner, so she’d ended up using several different disguises so she wouldn’t be noticed.  Veronica had followed Hannah to a few lunch outings, but she’d just been dining with female friends or people that Hannah worked with, and Veronica hadn’t noticed any odd behavior among any of them. Hannah also took Pilates classes and Veronica followed her to one of those, but she still didn’t have any luck on figuring out who Hannah’s mystery man might be.

It was Wednesday of the week after Logan had first come to hire her that he called Veronica to let her know that Hannah was going back to Vermont for the weekend. Apparently one of her closest friends from boarding school was having a baby shower and Hannah was flying out Friday morning to join in the festivities. Veronica could sense from Logan's tone that he hadn't been asked to go along and sounded not only a little frustrated, but suspicious as well. At the time, getting a chance to check for any proof of Hannah's affair at their house seemed like a good idea, so Veronica had arranged to meet Logan at his house Friday afternoon. She'd also gotten Hannah's flight information and told him that she would do a little reconnaissance at the airport to see if anyone else was joining Hannah on her weekend away.

Veronica had a few hours to work on her other cases after Hannah's departure that morning before she headed over to Logan's house. It was actually nice to be successful on a few other cases since her case for Logan wasn't turning up anything. She tried not to let Troy’s suspicions that Logan may have made the story up just to see Veronica again affect her, but it would be easier to show him that he was wrong if she could find proof of Hannah’s indiscretion. 

She'd tailed Hannah from the beachfront condo where Hannah and Logan lived a few times, but hadn't been inside of it yet. She took a deep breath after she parked in the driveway and then reluctantly climbed out of the car. She really wasn’t looking forward to possibly uncovering intimate things that were better just left private between Hannah and Logan. There was something unsettling about intruding into their personal space given that Logan was obviously more than just a random client. She hesitated for a moment, reminding herself again of her reason for being there before she reached out and rang the doorbell.

Logan seemed uncharacteristically nervous when he opened the door a few moments later. Veronica took a minute to take in his appearance before she walked in. The other times he'd stopped by MI to see her he'd been dressed formally, all the way down to a tie and coordinating pocket square, likely his normal work attire. He'd apparently been home long enough to change into a more casual T-shirt and boardshorts already. It certainly reminded her more of the guy she used to know rather than the unfamiliar persona she’d been seeing lately at her office. It had actually been sort of odd when she'd first seen him dressed so professionally since he'd always seemed most comfortable in casual attire and had saved the more formal outfits only for rare occasions. But now he was all grown up with a real adult job and, from their brief conversation about it during his initial visit, he seemed to genuinely enjoy it.

Logan mumbled something that sounded like ‘come in’ as he gestured with his hand for her to enter. He looked at her expectedly as they stood awkwardly in the entryway; it took her a moment to realize what he was likely waiting for.

"Oh, sorry..." she said with an apologetic grimace. “Hannah was alone the entire time I watched her at the airport. I even bought a cheap ticket so I could follow her through security and she boarded alone without talking to anyone there."

Logan let out a loud sigh and nodded. She wasn't actually sure if it was a sigh of relief or frustration though. She'd restrained herself before from asking one of the nagging questions that had been starting to bother her. It had troubled her more the longer she'd been tailing Hannah with no indication that she was actually having an affair. She decided to just ask it now though, regardless of whether it was any of her business.

"What if it turns out it was a one-time thing, Logan, and she just had really bad luck and got pregnant? Or maybe it did last longer, but it’s over now because she realized how much she loves you? Do  _ you  _ love her enough to forgive her and fix things with her? To be a father to her baby?" Veronica asked with a somber expression.

"I thought you were here to  _ investigate _ ... not  _ interrogate  _ me," Logan replied defensively. He let out a frustrated breath and shook his head as he started to walk away from her. "I need a drink," he growled out. "It's not a huge condo, I'm sure you can find your way around. And I certainly have nothing to hide."

Veronica fought back the urge to fly after him and yell at him for being an asshole. Instead, she took a deep breath and counted to five before she overreacted and made things worse. The entryway opened up to a large living room with a staircase that she assumed led to a second level and bedrooms. There was also the doorway that Logan had disappeared through which she guessed was the kitchen. She heard a cabinet slam and a glass being loudly set down on the counter. She doubted that if Hannah actually did have anything to hide that it would be out in the living room, so she headed up the stairs.

When she reached the landing, she spotted what appeared to be a guest room through the first door that she came to and she took a few minutes to examine it. Besides extra blankets and pillows, there really wasn't anything else in the closet and the drawers in the dresser and nightstands were all empty as well.

She headed to the next door which opened to the master bedroom. There was a large walk-in closet and it was easy to tell it was meticulously organized and divided clearly between Logan's things and Hannah's. She focused on Hannah's side, searching through purses, shoe boxes and pockets for anything incriminating that Hannah may have left behind. Turning up nothing, she finally walked back out to the main room. She was startled to find Logan leaning against the wall by a large window staring out at the ocean.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled in a hoarse voice. "I um... I know you're just trying to do what I hired you for. None of this is your fault, so I shouldn't be an asshole to you." He was still staring out the window as he lifted the glass of what she guessed was probably scotch to his lips and took a drink.

"It's fine," she replied tersely. "You're not the first asshole client I've had and I'm sure you won't be the last." She was still a bit too angry over his reaction downstairs to play nice with him and she really didn’t care at that point if her reply would piss him off or not.

She moved to a dresser across the room to check the drawers. From her angle before, she hadn't noticed the picture sitting on top of the dresser, but now she had a clear view of it. She hated how much it hurt to see it, even knowing it had happened... being the reason she was there... still, seeing the picture cut her to the core. Hannah was wearing a gorgeous white wedding dress and Logan had on what was undoubtedly a designer tux. As usual, Hannah looked absolutely in love and was smiling at Logan as if he were the only thing that mattered in the whole entire fucking world to her. While that was bad enough, it was actually Logan's expression that completely devastated Veronica. The way he was looking at Hannah in the picture had been the way he used to look at her. She realized at that moment that, no matter how hard she'd tried to deny it, she'd wanted to be the one with the white dress and for him to still look at her that way. She reached up slowly and traced her finger over the image of him, trying to stifle a sob from slipping out. The grim realization hurting so much more than she ever expected it to.

She'd nearly forgotten she wasn't alone when her thoughts were interrupted by Logan's voice from across the room behind her, and she immediately pulled her hand away from the picture. "I didn't answer your question because I don't know," he said in a soft broken tone. Even though her back was toward him, she could tell it sounded like he was facing her now. "I don't know if I love her that much," he continued in the same discouraged tone.

Veronica clenched her jaw, trying to remain objective—to not let this get personal—but that was clearly not a possibility now. She felt the tears that she didn't want to let fall, start to flow down her cheeks which only made her angrier. Somehow his admission seemed to hurt her even more. "Then why the hell did you marry her, Logan?" she yelled, spinning around to face him.

From the expression on his face, it was easy to tell that that was not the reaction he was expecting. At first he looked shocked, but then something must have occurred to him and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Because  _ you _ shut me out of your life,  _ Veronica _ ," he yelled back. "And I was tired of being the one that  _ everyone  _ abandoned." He let out a bitter laugh and shook his head. "Of being the one that  _ no one _ could actually love… But look how fucking great that's turned out for me."

"I didn't..." she started to protest before he cut her off.

"No," he yelled back loudly as he slammed his glass down on the side-table near him, causing her to jump slightly. "You don't get to do that... You don't get to try to act innocent and pretend you didn't  _ completely  _ shut me out." He took a shaky breath before he continued. "I tried for  _ months, _ Veronica... I gave you space... tried to fix things... And you..." He paused again and she thought she could see tears forming in the corner of his eyes. She suddenly wondered if he’d also bottled up all his feelings about what had happened in the past between them and not dealt with any of it either. He certainly seemed just as upset about bringing up the past as she was. "You were  _ very  _ clear that you wanted me out of your life. I got that message,  _ loud and clear _ ."

She hated that she knew he was right. She had been so angry that she’d lashed out in the worst way possible to keep him away. He'd been calling her for weeks after giving her some time to cool down after their fight. She, of course, hadn’t ever answered his calls. She knew very well that cutting him out of her life completely would hurt him. He'd finally mentioned, on probably the twentieth message he'd left, that he doubted she was even listening to the messages. He had said that he was sure he was an idiot for continuing to try, but he missed her so much and just hearing her voice, even if it was just a voicemail greeting, made him feel a little better. She'd deleted his message and then immediately deleted her personalized greeting so that the next time he called it was only an automated voice that read off her cell phone number. She still remembered his broken voice saying 'message received,  _ loud and clear _ ,' before he disconnected and never called again. 

He shook his head as he looked at her and took a deep breath. He wasn't yelling as loudly, but his tone was still bitter and angry when he continued. "I even gave you the chance to stop me before I married her... And you didn't say a thing... So  _ no _ , you don't get to judge me or hold that against me now."

He looked up at the ceiling for a moment before he collapsed on to the edge of the bed and covered his face with his hands. The tears that had started falling down Veronica's face had intensified as she had been standing there, listening to him yell at her. All those feelings she’d kept locked away started surging to the surface. She'd been the one that had destroyed everything they'd had... everything that they could have been. All because of her stubbornness and anger at how he'd reacted when he'd found out  _ she  _ had been lying to him. He’d wanted her to get professional help before then... encouraged her to several times actually… he obviously knew that she wasn’t handling her dad’s death well... but she had refused to. And then later, she was so mad that he'd married Hannah, but she never had any right to be. She’d been certain to never let him know that it bothered her or that she still cared about him, at least up until now. She walked over and placed her hand on top of his head and watched his shoulders tremble as he took a shuddering breath. She gently stroked his hair for a moment before she knelt down in front of him.

"I'm sorry, Logan," she cried as she looked up at him. "I'm so sorry for what I did."

He finally moved his hands and she could clearly see the sorrow in his eyes. The pain and despair on his face made her heart ache even more. She suddenly realized that she'd caused this. This look of devastation and resignation in his eyes was all because of her. Not his unfaithful wife, but her and how she'd treated him all those years ago when all he was trying to do was help her… protect her… keep her from ending up dead like everyone else in his life. Because he was right, everyone that he’d loved had ended up dead or abandoned him. And she’d promised him once that she wouldn’t do the same.

She instinctively leaned forward and kissed him. She could taste the scotch on his lips and it became even more noticeable as they deepened the kiss. It was probably about that point that she stopped listening to her brain and just let the rest of her body take over. His hands went for her waist as he pulled her urgently onto his lap. Veronica moaned as his fingers firmly grabbed her ass and pulled her tightly against him. The kissing intensified as her hands tangled into his hair and her breathing became ragged. There was no tenderness at that point, just raw, hungry emotions. Memories quickly came flooding back of every other time they’d been together and every nerve in her body screamed out for more. His mouth left a trail of wet kisses down her neck and she eagerly arched up toward him as his head moved toward her chest. She could feel him starting to quickly get hard as she rocked her hips wantonly against him. She was wearing a skirt, paired with a v-neck blouse, and it only took a second for his mouth to push away the fabric of her top and her lace bra. A few seconds later his tongue and teeth elicited another loud moan from her which only made him feel even harder against her. His hands quickly moved from her lower back to running up her bare thighs. As he reached the top of her legs, he moved his hands back to her ass, his fingers digging slightly into her bare skin. But it wasn’t enough.

His board shorts were easy to shove out of the way, and before she'd even given it a second thought, she was sliding down onto him. Logan let out a surprised groan, but then lifted his head from her chest and captured her mouth again. The kisses were deep and hungry, as was the way Veronica was moving on top of him. Years of denying what they felt for each other seemed to cumulate into raw, unbridled passion. Logan's breath was ragged as he moaned her name against her mouth between ravaging kisses.

The next thing Veronica knew, he'd lifted her enough so he could flip them onto the bed. He continued to thrust into her as vigorously as the pace she'd been keeping on his lap. She reached down and pushed his shorts further down his hips, having her turn to dig her fingers into his bare skin as she thrust her own hips up in rhythm with his movements. 

With the frantic pace they'd both set, it didn't take long for them both to climax, their mouths still locked together until that heated moment when they both moaned out loudly. Logan's head fell to her shoulder, and she could feel him panting heavily against her. He was somewhat supported by his forearms that were braced on either side of her on the bed, keeping his body from crushing hers.

Veronica closed her eyes and felt a wave of panic pass through her as she finally let her mind process everything that she'd just allowed to happen. "I've got to go," she said desperately as she pushed on his chest.

"Veronica?" Logan panted out weakly as he lifted his head and looked at her in confusion.

"No... get off me," she said angrily as she pushed again.

The fear and worry in his eyes were too much for her to handle, and so she looked away as she pushed again much harder. This time he rolled off of her. She didn't look at him. She couldn't. She pulled down her skirt and straightened her blouse as she headed for the door. She thought she heard him choke out a plea to wait as she bolted out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

**_A/N - I know this is a rough ending and a painful chapter, but as I said at the top, this chapter is only the halfway mark. I hope you’ll all stick with me for the second half as well._ **


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you to everyone who is reading this story! I decided to post this chapter a little earlier than my normal every 4-5 days just so I would stop messing with it. I realize I won’t be able to make everyone happy with this story, but I do appreciate all the feedback that helps me get a feel for all the various interpretations and reactions to it. 
> 
> As always, thanks to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas

Veronica had managed to keep her tears from falling as she hurried to her car, but once she was behind the wheel, she felt her resolve crumble.  _ You will not sit here and breakdown in his driveway. _ She clenched her jaw and blinked back tears as she started the ignition; she was such a mess. A myriad of emotions were raging through her, and she felt completely overwhelmed by it all. She quickly pulled out of Logan’s driveway and headed for her apartment, fearing what might happen if he had decided to follow her out to her car.

She was furious at herself for what had just happened. She wanted to be angry at Logan for cheating on his wife, but she knew that wasn’t fair at all. She'd been the one to initiate what they just did together, and while Logan could have stopped it, she certainly wasn't surprised that he hadn't; especially considering the fact that he was certain Hannah had already cheated on him. Of course that was not a good enough excuse for what either of them had just done—not only to Hannah, but to Troy too. Apparently Veronica wasn't any better than Lianne—sleeping with her married high school sweetheart when she was in a serious relationship with someone else.  _ Why does it seem like everyone in Neptune is predestined to become an adulterer? Is absolutely no one immune? _

Her mind quickly jumped back to Hannah. If anyone had been immune to Neptune’s curse of infidelity, she would have expected it to be sweet, innocent Hannah.  _ Isn't that likely why Logan married her? She should have finally been a safe choice for him. Someone who wouldn't hurt him like every other woman in his life had. _ Veronica felt more tears roll down her face as she thought about how every woman in his life seemed to ultimately ended up hurting Logan no matter what he did. And she cried even harder thinking specifically about the way she’d ultimately ended up hurting him too.

_ Flashback ~~~ _

_ Spring term was nearly over and Veronica was slowly coming to terms with with the death of her father. Logan had been unbelievably supportive and she'd become accustomed to his seemingly constant presence, so it was very surprising when he had told her he was going to spend most of the day at the library working on a big assignment. She'd considered tagging along so she wouldn't be alone all day in the suite, but then Mac had called and asked if she wanted to hang out. They hadn't spent much time together since her dad's accident, and, with Logan's encouragement, Veronica had agreed. Dick had moved into a house near campus with several guys from his fraternity before the start of their sophomore year, so normally when Logan was in class, Veronica was the only one in the suite. _

_ Mac had brought along some pizza from Cho's and once they stumbled upon an all day marathon of The Newlyweds, they couldn't seem to tear themselves away from mocking Nick and Jessica. Veronica’s phone rang just as the third episode was wrapping up. She was a little surprised to see Wallace's name instead of Logan's as she went to answer it. _

_ "Hey, is everything okay?" Wallace asked after her quick hello. _

_ "Yeah, why?" Veronica replied a little tentatively, picking up the concern in Wallace's tone. _

_ "It's just, um…" Wallace answered, sounding a bit uncertain. "I saw Logan a little while ago and he looked upset so I wanted to make sure nothing was wrong. I was with Piz... so I didn't get a chance to talk to him." _

_ "Oh, at the library?" Veronica asked as she tried to think of a reason why Logan would be upset. _

_ "No... at Dog Beach," Wallace replied hesitantly. _

_ "Oh..." Veronica muttered, trying desperately not to overreact to finding out that Logan was at the beach when he told her he was going to spend the day in the library. _

_ “Well, I’m glad nothing’s wrong. I should go…” Wallace added almost nervously. “I’ll talk with you later.” They ended the call after they each said a quick goodbye. _

_ Veronica stared at her phone for a few seconds trying to piece together what might be going on. She was trying really hard to not get upset that Logan wasn’t where he said he would be. That was when she noticed what date it actually was. _

_ “Everything okay?” Mac asked with just a hint of trepidation in her tone. _

_ “You knew, didn’t you?” Veronica asked as she felt her anxiety quickly give way to sorrow. “It would have been Lynn’s birthday today.” _

_ “I’m sorry,” Mac answered, looking much guiltier than she had a moment before. _

_ “Why didn't he say something?” Veronica asked next, not understanding why Logan wouldn’t have just told her. _

_ “He wasn’t sure how well he was going to handle today and he didn’t want to cause you any additional grief,” Mac answered with downcast eyes. _

_ “Can you take me to the beach?” Veronica asked as she stood up to grab her things. _

_ “Are you sure?” Mac questioned, concern evident in her tone. _

_ “Yes,” Veronica answered determinedly. She certainly didn’t want him to have to struggle through the day all alone. _

_ It was easy enough to find Logan once Veronica made it out onto the beach. She had spotted his Range Rover in the parking lot, so she knew he was still there. As she climbed out of Mac’s car, she told her that she’d be fine and that she could go. Logan was sitting on a blanket with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs while he faced out toward the ocean so he couldn’t see Veronica approaching. She made her way over to him and dropped down on her knees next to him. As he turned to look at her she felt her heart ache at the sadness in his expression. Even though there weren’t any tears in his eyes at the moment, she could easily tell that he had been crying earlier. He’d been so amazingly strong for her during the past few months, that seeing him so vulnerable now tore her apart. It killed her that he’d been trying to handle this on his own just to save her from dealing with anymore sadness. She reached up to gently stroke his cheek while she sucked in a shaky breath herself. Logan closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh as her fingers made contact. _

_ “You should have told me,” she whispered softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He leaned into her embrace and she could feel his tense muscles relax slightly. _

_ “I’m sorry,” he mumbled quietly against her neck. _

_ After holding him for a minute, she readjusted herself so she could sit down next to him. She wrapped one arm around his shoulders while she reached out to stroke his hands with her other one. He let his head tilt to the side so it was resting against hers. _

_ “You know we can’t keep secrets from each other if we want this to work,” she told him compassionately after a few minutes of silence. _

_ “I just didn’t want to burden you with this on top of everything else, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle today,” he answered in a disheartened tone. _

_ “But being there for each other is what you do when you love someone, right? Even when things are tough,” she countered as she squeezed one of his hands gently. He lifted his head up slightly and turned so she could see his face again. He gave her a grim smile and nodded slowly before he leaned in to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “So I’m here now to listen if you want to talk,” Veronica added as she gave him a tender smile. “Having you there to talk with over these past few months has meant so much to me, Logan. Please let me do the same for you.” She watched as Logan swallowed hard and nodded. She could tell he still seemed reluctant to share how he was feeling, but it was evident he was completely dispirited. “It’s natural to miss her, Logan,” she offered, hoping maybe he’d open up about what he was actually feeling. _

_ Logan sucked in a shaky breath and Veronica could see tears forming at the edge of his eyes. “I um…” he started and then cleared his throat when his voice came out hoarse. “I feel guilty,” he said as he blinked back tears and shook his head slightly. _

_ “Why would you feel guilty?” she asked softly, uncertainty evident in her tone. _

_ “Because it’s her birthday, and even though I try not to, I can’t help but still feel angry at her for the choice she made,” Logan explained sadly as he looked back out at the ocean. “But then after a while, I feel guilty because I couldn’t save her,” he added as his voice cracked again. “That I wasn’t enough for her to stay… that she didn’t love me enough to not give up… and that I didn’t stand up to Aaron for both of us and now she’s gone.” _

_ “Oh, Logan,” Veronica said as she felt tears well up in her eyes. His broken tone and the desolate expression on his face completely gutted her. “It’s not your fault. None of that was your fault.” _

_ He nodded and then pressed his head back against his knees so that his arms were blocking his face on either side. She could tell he was trying to keep from crying, but he still trembled slightly. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and nuzzled her face against his head. _

_ “I love you, Logan, and I won’t leave you like she did,” Veronica whispered softly as the ocean waves crashed onto the beach in front of them. ~~~ _

\------------------------------------------------

Logan wasn’t sure how long he’d stayed on the bed covering his face with his hands. He couldn’t seem to get the look Veronica had given him as she was pushing him off of her out of his mind. Even after all they’d been through before, she’d never looked at him like that. Like he was the worst mistake she had ever made and that she was thoroughly disgusted with herself and him for what had just happened. The closest she’d ever looked at him like that was when he admitted to having slept with Madison.

He knew he should have stopped things before they’d gotten that far, but like so many other times in his life, he listened to that part of his heart that still just longed to be loved by her. Of course now he was chastising himself for momentarily thinking there was a chance with her again; for letting himself believe that her apology and the way she’d looked at him had been sincere. That maybe she still loved him as much as he still loved her. Even after all these years, he couldn’t make those feelings go away. He’d tried to be a good husband to Hannah. He’d never mentioned Veronica to her. He’d really believed that he’d put that part of his life in the past and had moved on. He still didn’t know why his relationship with Hannah had failed just like every other relationship he ever had. He honestly didn’t think that he’d changed the way he was with Hannah at any point, so he was still at a loss as to why she would have slept with someone else.  He was starting to believe that he just didn’t deserve to ever be happy.  _ Isn’t that something Aaron told me once? That I wasn’t worth loving? That I deserved every terrible thing that happened to me? Maybe I should have just jumped that night on the bridge… been more like mom and less like him. Violent tendencies… infidelity… a real chip off the old block. _

Logan finally climbed off the bed and finished the glass of scotch that he’d slammed down on the side table. He began agonizing over what he should do. He still couldn’t get the haunting image of the way Veronica had looked at him out of his head.  _ How the hell did I ever believe asking her to help me with Hannah was a good idea? _ Then there was Hannah. He didn't want to keep pretending everything was okay with her when clearly it wasn’t and now he'd just made it even worse.

He knew Veronica wouldn't answer his call, but he still felt the need to apologize. He should have stopped her and not given in to those feelings that he’d kept buried for so long. As soon as her lips had pressed against his though, all rational thought just vanished. He hadn’t expected her to go as far as she had, and, even though he knew it was wrong, he hadn’t wanted to stop it either. Now he really just wanted to drink himself into oblivion and was worried about what he might say after a few more glasses of scotch if he tried calling her later, so he grabbed his cell phone and punched in her number. He let out a defeated sigh as her voicemail recording came on.

"Hey, it’s me… I um… I just wanted to say how sorry I am... for everything..." he confessed hoarsely into the phone, hating how badly his voice was breaking but unable to stop it. "I know you probably hate me even more now than ever... that was clear from the way you looked at me earlier… but I just couldn't stop myself... I really am so sorry, Veronica. I never intended for that to happen…" He paused again and took a deep breath before he continued. "I um... I can't keep up this act with Hannah... especially not now. I also don't expect you to keep working on my case... not after what just happened between us... I um... I think I’m going to go work up in San Francisco... out of our subsidiary there for a while... Maybe I'll just move there... tell Hannah I want a divorce... get a paternity test like you said..." He suddenly realized she probably wouldn't give a rat's ass about what he was planning to do and that he was just starting to ramble nervously. “I'll um... I'll send you a blank check and you can fill it in for whatever I owe you... God that sounds so fucking pathetic... I know that's not going to fix anything… I'm so sorry...Goodbye, Veronica."

He'd thought that saying goodbye to her right before he married Hannah had been hard, but it had been a piece of cake compared to this. At least that time Veronica seemed absolutely indifferent to him. There was no way in hell that she'd be indifferent to him now. He didn't feel like he deserved indifference now either.

\------------------------------------------------

Veronica finally made it back to her apartment and let herself inside. She’d regained enough composure to walk from her car to the apartment and kept herself together long enough to lock the door behind her, but then she lost it. She slid down the wall next to the door until she was sitting on the ground with her head buried in her hands. She felt absolutely terrible about what she’d done for so many different reasons. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting there crying when she heard a key in the lock. She tried standing up before the door opened, but she wasn’t quick enough and Troy caught her in the middle of scrambling to her feet.

“What’s wrong?” Troy asked with concern as he reached out and put his hands on her arms, looking her over for injuries. “Are you hurt?” he asked as he continued to study her with a worried expression.

She shook her head, but seeing him only made the tears fall harder. “I’m  _ so  _ sorry,” she blurted out, unable to stop herself even if she’d wanted to.

Troy’s eyes widened and then he took a step back, his hands falling to his sides as realization seemed to wash over him. She saw his fingers clench into tight fists as anger slowly crept across his face. “You slept with him,” he said harshly, more of a fact than a question. Veronica closed her eyes and nodded. She’d never meant to hurt Troy, but there was no way she was going to lie to him about it either.  _ At least that’s one way I’m not like Lianne. _ She slowly opened her eyes, afraid of what she was going to see. The pained look on his face made her heart ache even more.

“I’m so sorry…” she started again before he interrupted her.

“I knew this would happen,” he blurted out, hurt and disappointment evident in his tone. “I told you he was only doing this to get you back. He probably even lied about everything. Have you found any proof that his wife has actually even been cheating on him?”

“No, but she’s pregnant and he can’t be the father,” Veronica tried justifying, although it still didn’t make anything she’d done okay.

Troy let out a loud scoff and shook his head. “He could be making all of that up, Veronica.”

“He had proof from a doctor that he’s sterile.”

“And he gave you proof that she’s actually pregnant?” Troy asked angrily.

Veronica let out a sorrowful sigh and shook her head. Troy clenched his jaw tightly. “Well I suppose if  _ she  _ needs a money-shot for  _ her  _ divorce case, I could offer to get her one,” he yelled as he stormed past her toward the door.

“Troy,” Veronica pleaded, hoping that he’d stop but it did little to keep him from continuing to leave. “I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Imagine if you tried,” he tossed angrily over his shoulder before the door slammed shut.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you to everyone who is reading this story! See the end for notes. 
> 
> As always, thanks to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

Veronica somehow managed to stumble into her bedroom and collapse on top of her bed. She was still reeling from how badly she’d fucked everything up. She wouldn’t let herself believe that Logan was lying to her, though, no matter how adamant Troy may feel about it. The final words Troy had thrown at her before leaving were like a dagger straight to her heart after having said the same thing to Logan years before. She could easily imagine how badly Troy felt, and it killed her that she’d done that to him.  _ Lives ruined…God, why did Logan have to be so right about that all those years ago? _

She’d heard her phone ring earlier when she was walking up to her apartment and had ignored it. At that point she hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone, and she wouldn’t have been surprised if it may have been Logan trying to call her. After crying into her pillow for a while, she regained some of her composure and decided she’d better check the message in case it was something important. She braced herself when she recognized the number as Logan’s and then punched in the code for her voicemail.

Hearing how broken Logan sounded in his message made her feel even worse.  _ Guilt. _ That was one thing she hadn’t felt all those years ago when he’d tried to fix things with her after their last big fight. At that point in her life all she’d seemed to be capable of was anger, and no matter how devastated he’d sounded on his messages then, she hadn’t felt sorry at all. Looking back at it now, it was as if she was a completely different person back then, wanting to lash out and make other people feel the same pain she was feeling over losing her dad. She could understand now that it was completely irrational and likely due to the immense grief from losing Keith, but at the time, she hadn’t been willing to admit that she was unraveling. Now, though, she was consumed with  _ guilt _ . Guilt over hurting both Logan and Troy. That feeling started to fade a bit as she finished listening to Logan’s message and a new feeling started to shadow over it:  _ determination _ . She was now more resolute than ever to prove that Hannah was having an affair. A part of her knew that it wasn’t going to fix anything, but she’d be damned if she was going to just drop this case without finding proof. Not after everything it had just cost her.

She took a few minutes to compose herself before she pressed redial and waited for Logan to answer. A part of her thought it might be easier to just leave a voice message or send a text, but another part of her felt like she owed it to him to actually talk to him. She knew she couldn’t change the way she’d hurt him in the past, but it didn’t mean that she had to be as cold and heartless this time. She’d seen the pain in his eyes that afternoon. The pain that was still there because of how she’d treated him all those years ago, and she felt like she owed it to him to not repeat that again. She also couldn’t forget the look on his face when she shoved him off of her. That had been even worse than the agony she’d seen in his expression before she’d kissed him.

“Veronica?” Logan asked in confusion, the word slightly slurred as he answered.

“Can you just…” Veronica started and then took a breath. “Can you please just listen to what I have to say and not say anything for a few minutes?” she pleaded, not wanting to let the conversation get out of her control.

“Okay,” he answered softly.

“First… I don’t  _ hate _ you, Logan,” she said, frustrated at the slight tremble that came out with the words. “I’m definitely angry at myself for what I did, but I don’t hate or blame you. What happened this afternoon was not your fault. We were both there and chose not to stop, so please don’t put all the blame for it in yourself.” She paused a moment before she continued with what else she’d wanted to say, not sure how well he was going to react. “Second, please give me a week to get proof before you tell Hannah. I just… I really just need to see this through.”

She heard him take a deep breath through the phone and wondered if he was waiting to see if she had more to say before he spoke. Either that or he was trying to figure out how to respond. “I… I can’t keep pretending, Veronica,” he replied with the same broken tone she’d heard in the voice message he’d left her. “I just want to leave.” She could tell that his words still seemed slightly slurred, and she wondered how much he’d had to drink. At least he seemed lucid enough to be following the conversation.

“You could still go to San Francisco, but just don’t tell her anything yet. Maybe with you gone, she’ll meet up with the guy and I’ll catch them together.”

There was silence on the line for a few seconds before he responded. “Okay,” he finally replied again with a defeated sigh.

She hesitated a moment before she spoke again. She’d been reluctant to place a bug on Hannah because she hadn’t wanted to listen to her and Logan interact, but given she hadn’t discovered anything yet, that seemed like the best course of action now. “I need you to do one more thing before you go, though.” She paused a moment to see if he’d object, but after a few seconds of silence she continued. “I want you to place a bug for me. I know I’ve seen Hannah with a few different purses, but she always seems to have the same computer bag with her, so can you put the listening device in the bag before you leave? I know she took it with her to Vermont, so you’ll have to stick around until she’s back, but could you please do that for me?”

Logan let out a heavy sigh, so at least she knew he was still there and listening. It took him at least a minute to reply, but she didn’t dare push him for an answer before he was ready. “Yeah… she’s um… she’s coming back Sunday night. I’ll slip it in after she’s asleep and catch a morning flight up to San Francisco on Monday.”

Veronica wasn’t looking forward to seeing him in person to give him the device, but she knew that she probably needed to. She certainly didn’t want to go back to his condo again. She debated about whether she could just drop it off without seeing him at all, but she decided she’d better show him the best way to attach it so he didn’t break it or something. “Can you stop by MI Sunday at ten? I’ll meet you there and show you how to use it.”

“Okay,” he answered again, still sounding as desolate as when he’d first answered the phone.

“Okay… see you then,” she said and then disconnected the call before he even had a chance to respond or change his mind.

\------------------------------------------------

Veronica had thought maybe she’d hear from Troy on Saturday, but she understood that he needed some time to work through everything before they spoke again. She’d sent him a text after he didn’t answer her call, explaining that she really was sorry and anytime he wanted to talk, to just let her know. She tried to keep herself busy working on other cases on Saturday so she wouldn’t sit around and dwell on the predicament she’d gotten herself into. She tried to tell herself that sitting alone for hours that night on a stakeout was better than wallowing by herself at home, although after the first hour, she wasn’t really so sure about that. Prior to Logan showing up at her office asking for help, she’d been able to bury all those old memories and feelings about him, but now that no longer seemed possible. She painfully realized after what had happened the day before that she’d been purposefully avoiding ever dealing with her unresolved feelings for Logan. She’d pushed them so far from her consciousness that when she finally did acknowledge them it was overwhelming and she ended up acting so irrationally in the heat of the moment. Now she had to live with the consequences of her actions and she couldn’t deny that she felt horrible for hurting both Troy and Logan.  

She delayed heading to MI for as long as possible on Sunday morning, not really wanting to face Logan even though it had been her idea. She unlocked the office at a quarter to ten and headed into the inner office to find the bug she had planned to give him. At exactly ten o’clock, she heard the outer door open and stood up from the desk in the inner office to walk out to the lobby area to meet him. Logan looked as terrible as she felt, and after looking her in the eyes for only a second, he immediately shifted his gaze down to the floor. She took a deep breath and walked over to him with the small listening device in her open palm.

He seemed to at least listen attentively and nodded at her instructions even though he still wouldn’t make eye contact. When she was finished and he still hadn’t reached out to take it from her, she sat it down on the desk by where they were standing and he finally moved to pick it up and slipped it into his pocket. She was certainly worried by the way he looked and acted that Hannah would easily realize something was terribly wrong. Veronica really didn’t want him to jeopardize her chance of catching Hannah with whoever the guy was.

“You um…” she started and hesitated for a second. “You know you can’t act or look like this when she gets back right?” she asked, sounding much terser than she’d intended.

“Sorry… not everyone is as  _ fucking resilient _ as the great Veronica Mars,” he quickly spat out before an abashed look appeared on his face. “Fuck… I’m sorry, Veronica,” he mumbled as he exhaled loudly and ran his hand through his hair, tugging slightly as his fingers moved along his scalp. “That was out of line... I’m just…” He paused and let out another loud sigh and finally met her gaze. Although with how distraught and anguished he looked, she wasn’t sure that was a good thing. “I can’t stand hurting you… and the way you looked at me yesterday… please just drop the case… I’ll just disappear and I promise I’ll never bother you again.”

“No,” she said as she shook her head vehemently. She was definitely angry over his outburst, even if he did apologize. “I’m not dropping the case, Logan. I need to know I didn’t totally fuck over my boyfriend because you made this all up.” She recoiled a bit realizing how badly that actually sounded once she said it out loud but of course her immediate reaction to Logan snapping at her would be to dish it right back.  _ Apparently now I’m the one speaking without thinking.  _

Logan’s eyes grew wide as a shocked looked crossed his face. “You think I made it up?” he asked incredulously. “Oh of course… that’s what I do, right? …  _ I _ lie to  _ you _ ?” His voice was quickly changing from broken and sorrowful to angry and bitter. “God, I’m so  _ fucking stupid _ to have thought for a second that maybe you still had feelings for me. That you were doing this because you cared. But no, just like every other time in your life, it’s all about  _ you _ !”  He clenched his jaws while he sucked in a sharp breath. “Thanks for the  _ pity fuck _ , Veronica,” he snarled out before he turned and stormed out of the office.

\------------------------------------------------ 

“Fuck!” Logan yelled as he hit the steering wheel of his car.  _ I’m just done. _ He put the keys in the ignition and started the car, pulling away from the curb a second later.  _ Why the hell did I come today? I should have just left for San Francisco yesterday… or Mexico. I swear to God I’m never going back to that fucking office ever!… not for the rest of my entire fucking life. _ He wasn’t sure who he was really angrier at though, Veronica or himself. He’d been the first one to snap at her, but then it had hurt so badly when she indirectly accused him of lying. He should have known she was trying to find some justification to make herself feel better about what happened or maybe even so she could just fix things with Troy. He hated that he’d been foolish enough to think that it could have been because she still cared and wanted to help him.  But that didn’t matter anymore because he was just done with all of this.  _ Done with Neptune, and done with her _ .

Once he reached the condo, he stormed upstairs and started throwing clothes into his suitcase. He heard his phone ring and glanced at it as he pulled it out of his pocket.  _ Veronica _ . He hit ignore and threw the phone down on the bed before he went back to taking his frustration out by tossing more things out of the closet to pack. He’d flown to San Francisco enough times to know the flight times and decided he would just buy a ticket when he made it to the airport so all he needed to focus on now was packing. He just needed to pack up enough stuff to get him by for a little while and then he could buy stuff up there when he needed to. He headed into the bathroom to get things from there when he heard the phone ring a second time from the bed. He ignored it, though, and just stayed in the bathroom carelessly grabbing whatever he thought he might need. As he walked back out into the bedroom he told himself not to look at the display, but finally let out a frustrated breath and grabbed it off the bed.  _ Veronica _ . He was a little surprised by her persistence, but was still too pissed to talk to her. He knew he’d likely only make things worse at that point.  _ Of course she never actually listens to me... even now. Even though I asked her to just drop the case, she won’t because that wouldn’t serve her own purposes. She’s just as stubborn and self-centered as she always was. _

He finally sat down on the edge of the bed, the adrenaline from his fight with her starting to wear off and leaving him feeling nothing but weary and desolate again. He fell back on the mattress and covered his face with his arms.  _ Why do I always fuck everything up? Did I really think going to her for this was going to have a better ending? Maybe I really don’t deserve to ever be happy. The curse of being born a fucking Echolls. _ He took a deep breath and was about to sit up when his phone rang again. It was lying on the bed right by his head, so he glanced at the screen and saw her name again.  _ Veronica _ . He knew he should just ignore it, but reached out and picked it up, hitting the accept button.

“What?” he asked in a loud, annoyed tone.

“I’m sorry. If you want me to drop the case I will,” she quickly replied in an apologetic tone.

“What?” he asked again, completely caught off guard by both the apology and the offer to drop the case. _I’d been the one to initially go off on her, and now she was apologizing first and actually willing to do what I asked?_ _Has she actually stopped to consider someone else’s feelings for a change?_

“You asked me twice to just drop the case, and I finally realized I was being pretty selfish by refusing to do that.” She paused and he wondered if she was waiting for him to respond, but then she started talking again. “When you stormed out of the office, my first reaction was to just do whatever I wanted whether or not you approved. In fact, I was probably even more adamant about it just to spite you.” She let out a loud sigh before she continued. “But then I realized that’s exactly what I did all those years ago and I don’t want to be like that again. I really don’t want to be that person again, Logan. I don’t want to give up yet, but if you want me to, then say the word and I will. I um...” her voice cracked softly and she took a deep breath. “I don’t want this ending to be even worse than our last one was.”

Logan let out a frustrated sigh and ran his hand over his face. This wasn’t something he’d expected to have to decide. “I’ll give you the week,” he found himself saying a few seconds later, despite what he’d been feeling earlier.

“Thank you,” she replied, but he could tell there was a touch of trepidation in her voice. A second later he realized why. “And you’ll still plant the bug before you go?” she asked with an almost pleading tone to her voice.

Logan glanced over at his open suitcase on the bed and exhaled loudly again. “Yeah, I’ll stay and do that.”

“Thank you,” she said again, more softly than before.

He felt a lump in his throat and swallowed hard before he spoke again. “And I’m sorry I caused you to fuck things up with Troy. I really never meant for that to happen, Veronica.”

“I know…  I um… I need to go,” she replied quickly and then the line went dead.

\------------------------------------------------

Logan had texted Veronica early on Monday morning to let her know that he had planted the bug and he was catching the first flight up to San Francisco. She’d replied with a ‘thank you’, but he hadn’t responded back. Their situation had gotten so fucked up that she was just grateful he had agreed to still plant the bug and give her a week. She was relieved that he had gone along with her request, because backing off at that point would have been extremely difficult for her even if she really did want to change. But if he had asked her to, she would have forced herself to because she really didn’t want to be the way she had been with him before. She still hadn’t heard from Troy, but she had plenty of casework to keep her mind temporarily focused on other things.  

Throughout the day Veronica had pulled up the audio from Hannah’s bug, but so far had only heard her talking with her coworkers about how much fun she’d had in Vermont with all her old boarding school friends. The device would only send audio when there was sound detected, so it wasn’t a constant feed that she had to listen to since part of the time Hannah must have been working quietly by herself. Veronica had scoped out the office space that the company Hannah worked for was located in and knew that she had a private office where she worked on her own assignments. Veronica had really hoped that Hannah would contact the man she had been seeing once Logan was gone, and she was a bit disappointed when she finally went to bed Monday night and still hadn’t uncovered anything. She had been checking on some of the numbers that Hannah frequently called on her cell phone as well and hadn’t found anything of note there either.

On Tuesday morning, Veronica had been out taking some photos for an insurance fraud case relatively close to her apartment, so she grabbed some lunch and headed home to eat instead of going back to the office. She was surprised when she reached her apartment and found the door slightly ajar. She didn’t have to open it very far to spot Troy kneeling down by the kitchen counter petting Lucy. She let out a quiet sigh and pushed the door open far enough to walk through. He must have heard the sound and quickly turned toward her with a pained expression on his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t expect you to be home,” he quickly said as he stood up. Lucy kept rubbing up against his legs, clearly annoyed that she wasn’t getting his full attention any longer. “I um… I came to say goodbye to Lucy and give you this,” he said as he placed his key to her apartment on the counter.

“Troy,” she started to plead before he cut her off.

“I’m taking the assignment Elliot’s been bugging me about,” he quickly explained as he stuck his hands in his pockets, barely able to look her directly in the eyes.

“You’re going to Boston?” Veronica asked faintly, feeling her chest tightening at the thought of him running over two thousand miles just to get away from her. She knew he may need some time before they tried to work through everything, but she never expected him to just leave like that.

“Yeah,” he answered softly with a nod. It was easy to hear the anguish in his voice. “I thought a change of venue might be good for a while.”

“I’m so sorry, Troy,” she told him as a tear streaked down her cheek. “I wish I could fix this. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Troy exhaled loudly and then shook his head. “I wish I hadn’t been right about this from the start, Veronica, but I can’t change that. And I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen either.” She could tell he was trying to keep from breaking down himself as he spoke. “I wish you’d loved me the same way I loved you. I tried telling myself that what you felt was enough, but now I realize it wasn’t. I don’t know if you’re still in love with him, but clearly you weren’t in love with me enough to not let that happen. I just… I can’t stay.”

Veronica let out a strangled sob as she watched him head toward the door. She hated that he was right. She hadn’t loved him enough to not get swept up in her emotions for Logan. She wanted to tell him not to go, that she loved him more, but she didn’t know her own feelings well enough to say that with certainty and knew it would be even worse to lie. But she did know that it was breaking her heart to have him leave her like that. As the door closed behind Troy, she stopped trying to hold back the tears and just let them all fall once again.

**_A/N - I wish I’d put this note earlier and not at the end of such a sad chapter, but I forgot. I had actually planned the Lucy the cat part before I had looked at Aaron Ashmore’s Instagram account and discovered that he absolutely loves cats in real life too. Not only does he and his wife have a couple of their own, but he takes random pictures of cats that he sees when he’s out and about and posts those on his account too.  In one post he even put “Yes I’m a crazy cat man.” So I suppose if you’re feeling bummed about this chapter, you could go and look at cute cat pictures on his instagram account to make you feel better._ **

**_And as far as the chapter, I’m sure Veronica still isn’t where some of you want her to be yet. She is trying to be better though, but her way of dealing with trauma and bad situations isn’t always the healthiest way. It’s always been easier for her to throw herself into cases than to deal with difficult emotional issues. That’s basically what has gotten her here in this story too and she hasn’t changed as much as I’m sure people would have liked her to. We all know that finding the guy that Hannah has been seeing isn’t going to fix anything, but it’s what she’s chosen to fixate on instead of dealing with the rest of the mess she’s created. And she does care a lot about Troy too, so it’s not just an easy thing for her to hurt him and let him go. She’s at a place where she really doesn’t know who she loves more. She’s had a good relationship with Troy for almost a year and while she still has feelings for Logan, those could just be based on all her old memories and feelings from the past and they still wouldn’t have a chance in the present._ **


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you to everyone who is reading this story! See the end for notes. 
> 
> As always, thanks to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

After her run-in with Troy on Tuesday, Veronica’s day didn’t improve. Topping the day off was listening in on Hannah’s call to Logan that evening. Veronica had thought that maybe Hannah had either left her computer bag in her car, which Logan mentioned that she did sometimes when she showed him how to hide the bug, or she had gone to sleep early, but then the audio came back on.

“Hey, Lo,” Hannah’s soft almost sing-songy voice came through Veronica’s laptop speaker. “I was really hoping to talk to you, but I know you said you may be tied up with work until fairly late. I was just getting really sleepy and thought I’d try you before I went to bed. I um… It seems like things have been a little strained with us and I’m not sure why, but I really do want to talk about it. I just… I miss you and I hope you don’t have to stay up there too long. I love you; hopefully I can catch you sometime tomorrow.”

_ Perhaps the reason why things are strained is because you’re pregnant with someone else’s baby? _ Veronica let out a frustrated sigh as she closed the listening app on her laptop and stared absentmindedly at the screen. She wondered how Logan had acted around Hannah before he’d left for San Francisco and really hoped that wasn’t going to impact things. Veronica certainly wasn’t going to call and ask him about it because she was certain that would only make things even worse between her and Logan. She was a little surprised that Hannah hadn’t mentioned the pregnancy as what might be causing Logan to act a bit differently toward her. Veronica tried to push Troy’s words out of her head, still refusing to believe that Logan had made up the pregnancy. Given how he’d acted on Sunday, she was certain he couldn’t be lying to her.

On Wednesday morning, Mac called to let Veronica know she had finally decrypted the files she’d dropped off and that she’d be home all day if Veronica wanted to stop by and pick them up. Veronica was not only happy to have a potential break in her other case, but she also thought it would be nice to spend a little time with Mac. Veronica offered to pick up drinks and pastries from The Hut before she stopped by.   

“Good morning,” Veronica chirped as she walked in through the door that Mac had opened for her. “I have non-caffeinated liquid tastiness and a small assortment of delicious treats for you to choose from.” Veronica set the drink carrier and paper bag she was carrying down on the edge of the coffee table and smiled at Miranda who was in her swing banging a small toy against the swing’s tray. When Veronica turned back to Mac her heart sank. She could tell by the concerned expression on Mac’s face that she already knew something had happened. Veronica’s smile fell and she let out a deep sigh.

“You okay, V?” Mac asked as she continued to study Veronica carefully.

“He told you?” Veronica asked as she slumped down on the couch.

Mac exhaled slowly and nodded as she came over and sat down next to Veronica. “Yeah, he stopped by last night on his way to the airport to let us know he was going back to Boston for a while.”

“And to say goodbye to Miranda?” Veronica mumbled softly, not really needing to know the answer as she glanced sorrowfully toward the happy baby in the swing.

_ Flashback ~~~ _

_ Veronica held the wailing baby in her arms as she opened the front door. She let out a relieved sigh as Troy walked in and gave her a reassuring smile. He reached out and took the very upset little girl away from her and starting shushing the crying baby. _

_ “I got here as soon as I could,” Troy said as he continued to walk into the house. Veronica closed the door and leaned against it for a second, relieved to have someone there to help her. “What’s the matter, sweat pea?” Troy asked as he looked down at the baby, who was still crying, but not as loudly as before. “What happened?” he asked as he glanced up at Veronica and continued trying to sooth the baby. _

_ “Mac had put her down for a nap right before I got here and said she’d sleep an hour or two. Of course not five minutes after she left, some damn salesman came by and rang the doorbell, even though there’s clearly a ‘no solicitation’ sign right by the damn doorbell button, and the sound woke up Miranda. I tried getting her back to sleep, but all she did was cry. I tried a bottle and checking to see if she was wet, but none of that helped. I couldn’t figure out how to wrap her back up like Mac had her either, and after twenty minutes I panicked and texted you,” Veronica explained, her tone clearly revealing how frazzled and out of her element she felt. _

_ Troy gave her an understanding smile and nodded. “Did you taze him?” he asked with a smirk. Veronica finally chuckled slightly and shook her head, surprised at the question. _

_ “We’ll get you all swaddled up again, won’t we?” Troy asked in a softer voice as he looked down at the baby again. Veronica watched in awe as he effortlessly wrapped the baby back up in the blanket that Veronica had removed to check her diaper. _

_ “How are you so good at this?” she asked in amazement as Troy cradled the baby in his arms and walked over to the rocking chair. _

_ “When your best friend’s wife has triplets, you tend to get wrangled into helping a lot,” he told her with a fond smile. _

_ “I’m sure Elliott and Syd appreciated it immensely,” Veronica replied softly as Troy started rocking in the chair. Miranda’s crying had diminished to soft whimpers at that point, and after a little more rocking and shushing from Troy, she was completely asleep again. After a few minutes, he stood up and carefully placed her in the bassinet.   _

_ “Thank you,” Veronica whispered as she wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned into him. _

_ “Mmm… you’re welcome,” he whispered in reply before placing a tender kiss on her temple. “You know it’s easier when they’re your own,” he added softly, obviously well aware of the anxiety Veronica was still feeling. They’d talked about kids when Mac had told them her and Max were expecting and Veronica had shared with Troy her reluctance to have any of her own. She let out a soft sigh and shrugged. “Plus with an amazing partner like me, what could go wrong,” he added before placing another kiss against her head. ~~~ _

“Yeah,” Mac answered after a moment, drawing Veronica’s attention back to her. Veronica felt the tears well up in her eyes and Mac wrapped her arm around Veronica’s shoulder.

“Did he tell you what happened?” Veronica asked as she tried to keep from crying.

Mac shook her head. “No… just that the two of you had broken up and he was going to go back to Boston to work for a while.” Mac paused and took a deep breath. “I’m guessing it had to do with Logan, though?” she asked a little hesitantly.

Veronica let out a shaky breath and nodded. “I screwed up so badly,” she told Mac softly as the tears she had been trying to hold back started falling down her cheeks. “I got caught up in all my old feelings and regrets and did something I couldn’t take back. And when I admitted it to Troy, I know that what I did hurt him so badly.”

“I know it’s hard right now, but Troy loves you so much, Veronica,” Mac said reassuringly. “He just needs some time to sort things out. I’m sure that given time, you two can work this out.”

Veronica shook her head slightly. “I don’t know, Mac. You didn’t see the way he looked at me when he found out what had happened.”

“Yeah, but I did see the guy who stopped by here last night before he left, and I could tell it was killing him to leave you even if he thought it was the best decision. You were at least honest with him about it, right, which should count for something. I think you both may just need a little time to work through all of this before you try to repair what’s been broken. I know he still loves you, though, Veronica, even if he’s hurting a lot right now. And when you really love someone, you do forgive them. It may take a little time and effort, but if two people really love each other, there’s nothing they can’t eventually recover from.”  Mac paused a moment before she continued a little reluctantly. “But it has to come from both of you. You need to love him just as much as he loves you to fix this.”

“I know,” Veronica replied softly as she nodded slowly. “I do love him, even if I never told him that enough.”

Mac studied her carefully for a moment before she spoke again. “But you still love Logan too, don’t you?”

Veronica looked helplessly at Mac. “I’m not sure,” she replied as she shook her head slightly. She was still conflicted and overwhelmed by all of her old feelings that had resurfaced for Logan.She didn’t trust herself to make any sort of rational decision in regards to that yet.

“Well I think you know that you owe it to Troy to figure that out before you try to fix things with him,” Mac told her compassionately. Veronica exhaled deeply and then nodded in response.

\---------------------------------

After leaving Mac’s house, Veronica went to do some light surveillance work for an insurance fraud case. She decided to listen to the feed from Hannah’s bug while she sat in her car outside the house of the guy she was watching. So far it had just been Hannah talking with coworkers again, mostly about projects they were working on. Veronica had contemplated whether to see if Mac could hack into Hannah’s email accounts since Logan didn’t have access to any of those, but these days it was so easy to set up a random email account that she doubted Hannah would email something secretive using her regular work or personal email.

Veronica heard a phone ring through the audio and realized it was a different ringtone than she had heard Hannah answer before. She’d heard Hannah answer her work phone and knew that one sounded differently, and Hannah didn’t seem to have varying ringtones on her regular cell phone. _Does she actually have another cell phone?_ _That would explain why I couldn’t find anything on their phone records that seemed suspicious._

“Hey, you,” she heard Hannah say in a most definitely chipper, friendly voice. “I was hoping I’d hear from you this week.” There was a slight pause and then Hannah giggled in what Veronica thought was definitely a flirtatious way before she started speaking again. “That sounds absolutely fabulous… Yeah, I can definitely do that… Room 608 at the Epiphany? Got it… see you at six.”

“Finally!” Veronica said outloud triumphantly to herself in the car.  _ That had to have been the guy. _ Veronica was glad she’d have a couple hours before Hannah would arrive to scope out the building and figure out where room 608 was located. That would also give her plenty of time to get herself set up for taking pictures. The Epiphany was a newer hotel in Neptune, but luckily it was located in an area of town with several tall buildings around it. She might be able to actually find a spot to see into the room. There was an older hotel across from it as well, and with any luck, one of their rooms might face room 608. Veronica wasn’t going to get her hopes up for that though because it was rare for things to go that  well for her.

\------------------------------------------------

Finding the location of room 608 had been easy and Veronica had been thrilled that it was on the side of the hotel that faced the other older hotel. It had been early enough in the day when Veronica went to scope out the Epiphany that housekeeping was still working the floor, but the door to 608 was closed with a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign hanging on the door handle. Veronica was hoping that she might get a look at the mystery man before Hannah arrived if he had the shades opened and was mulling around his room. Of course that would depend on her getting a room in the other hotel that faced 608.

It took a bit of strategic planning to figure out which room to request at the older hotel across the street, but Veronica lucked out. There was a young guy working the desk who was more than happy to help her get her ‘lucky number’ room and she was relieved that her first choice happened to be available. Of course with the brand new Epiphany across the street, Veronica assumed business wasn’t exactly booming at the older hotel either.

Veronica set up her camera and was thrilled to find that the curtains in Room 608 were open. She had a great view of the door and the bed, but it appeared to be a larger suite and she couldn’t see much of the sitting area from where her vantage point. She also hadn’t spotted an occupant in the room yet either. As 5:30 p.m. approached, the door to the suite opened, but a guy who walked in was wearing gym clothes and was running a towel over his head. She sighed in frustration; she couldn’t see his face at all. It was obvious that he must have been using the workout facility at the hotel based on his appearance. He quickly moved from the door to what she assumed to be the bathroom without any glimpse of his face, and with her position, she could only see him for a second before he vanished out of sight. 

She didn’t see the mystery man again until he returned to the door, this time with only a towel around his waist. His head was turned away from Veronica, but she snapped a few pictures as he opened the door. She did get a clear shot of Hannah and the salacious expression on her face before the man pushed her against the now closed door. Veronica continued taking pictures as the guy pushed Hannah’s skirt up and pulled his towel off, apparently wasting no time in getting to the main act. Veronica had been doing this sort of thing long enough to recognize raw, heated passion, and the two of them were definitely enjoying themselves immensely. It was also clear, based on her past experience, that Hannah had expected things to go exactly as they were. She was dressed extremely provocatively, and seemed to be enjoying herself immensely.

After being thrust against the door for several minutes, Hannah’s head rolled back and hit the hard surface behind her, obviously having just climaxed at that moment based on what Veronica could see. Hannah’s head tilted forward again to kiss the guy as he turned to move her from the door to the bed; her hair and head still preventing Veronica from getting a clear shot of the guy. He finally spun her completely around and started walking toward the bed with her legs wrapped around his waist. Unfortunately, Hannah’s head was still blocking his as he carried her across the room. When he reached the edge of the bed he carefully lowered her upper body, while still keeping her legs wrapped around him.  He gave Hannah a wolfish sneer as he started pounding into her again.

It took a few seconds for Veronica’s brain to register who she was staring at through her camera’s viewfinder as she continued to snap pictures.  _ Fuck _ . She felt her pulse quicken as a feeling of panic coursed through her. Of all the coincidences she’d run across in her life, this had to be one of the worst. 

\------------------------------------------------

Veronica had plenty of pictures by the time she recognized who Hannah was with, and she was grateful that she didn’t need to stick around any longer. As she headed back to her apartment she was completely conflicted about what to tell Logan. She was certainly worried about what Logan might do once she told him who Hannah had been seeing and what that might mean for Logan. He’d done enough bone-headed things over the years when he wasn’t thinking rationally that she didn’t want to be responsible for another one. Maybe he wouldn’t care though and just take the proof and move on with his life. If she cautioned him that any form of retaliation would be a bad idea, maybe he’d just drop it. Of course she could also lie and say she didn’t find out who the guy was, but she knew she really couldn’t live with herself if she did that, especially since Hannah was clearly still cheating on Logan.

Veronica felt like she owed it to Logan to at least see him in person and tell him what she’d discovered. She hoped that she could rationalize with him to not over react and to just do whatever he needed to do to end things with Hannah and move on with his life if leaving her is what he had decided he wanted to do. When she took the case she hadn’t really give much thought to what Logan would do once he found out who Hannah was seeing, especially if it was someone they knew.  _ Why couldn’t it have been some random stranger? Right, because this is Neptune and life here is constantly fucked up. _

Veronica spent most of Thursday morning agonizing over what she should do before she finally braced herself and called him. She’d already decided not to mention too much over the phone so she could be there to read the situation when she shared the details with him. She hoped calling him during the day wouldn’t be a problem for him with work, but assumed he’d just ignore the call if he couldn’t talk. Clearly he’d ignored Hannah’s call from the night before. She was a little surprised when he answered after the first ring with a soft ‘hello’.

“Hi… um…” Veronica started out hesitantly even though she’d tried having a plan of what she was going to say before she called. “I was able to get pictures yesterday, so I have proof of Hannah’s infidelity”

“Oh,” Logan seemed genuinely surprised or shocked by that revelation. “Okay… do you just want to send them to me.”

“No… I um… I think it would be better if we met in person and I filled you in on what I found out. When do you plan on coming back to Neptune?”

“Oh… I uh… I could catch a flight later today… might as well get this over with,” he replied. She could easily hear the defeat and despair in his tone and wasn’t sure if it was finally having proof that his wife really was cheating on him, which he’d seemed pretty confident about before, or the thought of seeing Veronica in person again.

“Great. Can you swing by MI?”

“No,” he replied harshly, which completely caught her off guard.

“Okay…” she started not really sure why he had reacted that way.

He let out a frustrated sigh. “Can you just meet me at the airport? I’ll text my arrival time and there’s a small bar there, right before you get to the security check area near Gate One in Terminal One.”

“Logan…” she started to object. “It might be better to meet some place, less… public for this discussion.”

“Frankly, I’d rather it not be some place  _ private _ , Veronica,” he replied curtly. “If you don’t want to drive to the airport, I could meet you someplace else in Neptune. I may just catch a flight back after we meet, and I didn’t want to drive all the way to Neptune if I decided not to stay, but whatever… I can meet you someplace there instead... any place other than your office.”

_ Well at least he didn’t insist I fly to San Francisco to tell him, but he’s sure being an ass about this, isn’t he?  _ “Fine. Text me the info and I’ll meet you there,” she replied, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice, although she doubted she succeeded much.

**_A/N - Thanks for reading! Veronica finally knows who the guy Hannah has been seeing is. I’m hoping it’s a little bit of a mystery for people after this chapter, but I’m expecting some people to guess it. The answer will be in the next chapter, so you won’t have to wait long. Please take a minute to let me know what you thought of this one._ **


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you to everyone who is reading this story! I can’t believe we’re up to Chapter 11 already. Only two more chapters to go and then I’ll likely write an epilogue for it too. See the end for notes. 
> 
> As always, thanks to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

By the time Veronica made it to the airport, Logan was already waiting for her in the small bar.  Unfortunately, she was about twenty minutes later than Logan's arrival time, and she could tell from the irritated look on his face that he hadn't appreciated waiting. He was nursing what looked like a glass of scotch and she hoped it was his first one, especially if he decided to drive back to Neptune rather than fly back to San Francisco.

"Sorry," she apologized as she slid into the seat across the small table from him. "There were two accidents on the freeway between here and Neptune."

Logan nodded in understanding but he still looked rather exasperated, although she guessed it was more likely related to the overall situation than her tardiness. Veronica pulled a manila envelope out of her bag and set it on the table in front of her, drumming nervously on it with her fingers. She'd only printed one picture for now and tried to crop it so it wasn't showing more than Logan really needed to see. _Faces and naked torsos really should be plenty._ Logan's gaze quickly fell to the envelope for a few seconds before he looked back up at her expectantly.

"The picture is a bit... _graphic_ ," she explained sensitively. She saw him swallow hard and nod. She suddenly felt ill thinking about how she would feel if it was someone showing her a picture of Troy with someone else, or even worse, if Troy had seen pictures of what happened between her and Logan less than a week before. She slowly pushed the envelope toward Logan, his eyes falling to track its movement across the table. When it was in front of him he took a deep breath before he reached out and took it. Veronica watched as he slowly opened it and slid the photo out. She was thankful that the bar wasn't very crowded and that he'd selected a table in an isolated corner. He grimaced and then a pained look formed on his face as he focused on the picture. She saw the moment he realized who was in the picture with Hannah, and his initial, pained expression was replaced by one of shock and confusion.

"What the hell?" Logan mumbled as he glanced up at Veronica. "Him?" he asked angrily.

"Yeah, I was a bit shocked as well," Veronica somberly replied. She continued to study Logan as he looked back down at the picture and then shoved it back into the envelope. She was really hoping to try to gauge his reaction to figure out how to proceed with this. He ran his hand nervously through his hair as he clenched his jaw tightly.

"Why do I have a hard time believing it's just a _coincidence_ that Gory Sorokin is the one fucking my wife?" Logan ranted as he looked angrily down at the envelope again.

Veronica let out a loud sigh and shook her head in reply. "It really _could_ just be a coincidence, Logan,” she answered, though she was having a hard time convincing herself of that too.

"I can't believe she'd get mixed up with a guy like that... not after her dad and the Fitzpatricks." It was easy to see the rage boiling up in Logan as he came to terms with what Hannah had been doing.

"Maybe she doesn't know who he actually is," Veronica offered, since she'd also wondered how on earth Hannah could have gotten involved with Gory. "I never actually heard her say his name, or any other name at all, when he called her. He could have given her a fake name and she wouldn't know. Did you ever mention him and what happened at Hearst?"

Logan shook his head, looking even more furious by the second. "He was gone our sophomore year, so I didn't even think about it again. I’d kept an eye out for him right after the incident in the cafeteria when you filled me in on exactly who he was, but then I didn’t give him another thought after that."

"He's still dangerous, Logan," Veronica warned. "His family is still involved in a lot of illegal stuff, even if he's been able to keep his own record clean." She’d looked him up in the PI database after she’d seen him with Hannah at the hotel. He’d had a few minor traffic violations, but other than that, there wasn’t anything recorded for him. She had wondered if Gory’s membership in the Castle organization had kept anything more substantial from getting pinned to him. She narrowed her eyes at Logan before she continued. "Promise you're going to be smart about this and not do anything that could end badly?"

Logan let out a bitter laugh. It was easy to tell he was starting to unravel now as the reality of everything weighed down on him. "What’s wrong, Veronica? Are you worried about feeling responsible if I do something stupid?” he spat out angrily. She could see fury and recklessness quickly growing in his expression, not to mention the tone she always hated to hear from him. “I _promise_ I won't hold _you_ liable for anything. I can sign an affidavit if you want… maybe in blood,” he added aggressively.

All of a sudden, Veronica wasn't looking at twenty-four-year-old Logan, she was looking at seventeen-year-old poor little rich asshole with a death wish again. And those same angry feelings that she'd felt all those years ago quickly came rushing back. And just like that day, she stormed out... _in a burst of professionalism_.

\---------------------------------------

After Veronica hastily retreated from the bar, Logan downed the rest of his scotch and debated ordering another. It didn't take him long to feel terrible about how he'd just acted. _Why can't I stop being an asshole around her? It's not her fault any of this is happening._ He picked up the envelope she’d brought with her and tapped against the top of the table in irritation. He really wanted to believe that Hannah didn't know who Gory actually was. Logan didn't think he could forgive her for cheating on him, but Veronica was right; it could be dangerous for Hannah to get mixed up with Gory. If Hannah did know that he was from a mob family and still had chosen to be with him, well then she deserved whatever happened. But if she didn't know... Logan still cared enough about her to not want her to get hurt.

He finally decided he'd go home and confront Hannah about everything. They could decide what to do from there. He had proof now, so it wasn't like she could deny it. Hopefully they could work out a reasonable arrangement... an amicable divorce... something, anyway. And if Hannah didn't know how dangerous Gory was, at least he'd feel better having warned her. She could then make an informed decision about what she wanted to do with her life... with her _baby_. He suddenly felt even worse, realizing that the baby she was carrying was Sorokin's.

It was dark by the time he reached their condo. Hannah's car was parked out front, and he pulled up next to it then headed in the front door. The lights above the kitchen island were the only ones on downstairs and he headed there first, tossing the envelope from Veronica on the counter top. He could hear the shower up in their room going. He knew it was the night Hannah normally had Pilates, so he figured she was showering after getting back from class. He'd felt terrible about the way he'd acted with Veronica at the airport and decided that he'd call and apologize while he waited for Hannah to finish her shower. He doubted Veronica would answer his call, but he still knew that he owed her an apology. His life turning to shit once again was certainly not her fault, and he really shouldn’t have acted that way with her. He also desperately needed a drink, so as he pressed the contact number for Veronica on his phone, he moved toward the liquor cabinet. He heard her voicemail greeting start to come on as he grabbed a bottle of scotch, and then he momentarily set the phone down to grab a glass. His hand hadn't even touched the glass yet when he heard footsteps entering the kitchen. He quickly turned toward the noise and then stood frozen in place.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Logan asked furiously.

"Oh... you know... just fucking your wife while I waited for you to get here," Gory sneered at Logan. "I have to admit I was beginning to get a little worried that you _had_ decided to just fly back to San Francisco, but I'm glad to see that you didn't."

Logan felt his heart rate quicken as it dawned on him that this encounter definitely wasn't just a coincidence and that Gory must have bugged his phone. His panic grew tenfold as Gory's arm came up and Logan saw the barrel of a gun pointed directly at him.

"I told you that you were going to die someday... and it's so much more poetic knowing it's going to be with your own gun," Gory told Logan as he waved the gun around in the air slightly.

Gory took a few more steps into the kitchen and picked up the envelope that Logan had tossed there, keeping the gun aimed at Logan as he reached in and slid the picture out with one hand.

"Your perky little blonde PI does a decent enough job. Got my good side," Gory added with a wicked laugh. "I'm a bit disappointed that she didn't give you a more indecent shot, but this will work."

"What are you talking about?" Logan asked angrily as he glared at Gory. "Do you actually think you can get away with shooting me?"

Gory laughed loudly as he nodded. "Of course I can... You returned home from your meeting with your hot little PI and found me here with your wife. You pulled the gun on me, and after a struggle, I overpowered you, grabbed for the gun and killed you in self-defense. Given your history of violence and the _evidence_ that I was having an affair with your wife, I'm pretty sure I can sell it. _Especially_ in Neptune... and with my _special_ connections, yeah... I'm not worried about it at all."

"You're insane," Logan exclaimed, trying to at least pretend he didn't believe Gory's plan would work, but deep down he knew that Gory was probably right.

Gory had taken a few more steps into the kitchen, and now the island was no longer between them. "And speaking of your hot blonde PI, I can't wait to fuck her next."

"You'd better stay away from her," Logan growled out angrily. "She'd never let you even get close to her."

"Oh, I know she won't be easy to seduce like your wife was, but I really don't mind it when they struggle and fight back. I can't wait to hear those sounds in person that she makes when she's being fucked. Too bad you didn't get a round two with her the other day."

Logan sneered angrily and his hands clenched into fists at his side at the realization that Gory had heard what happened between him and Veronica.

"And if it makes you feel any better, I promise she won't have to live long with the guilt. I'm pretty good at arranging accidents... of course with her it might just be easier to make it look like a suicide. What after losing you... not to mention her dad... the poor little broken thing just couldn't take it any longer."

Logan couldn't help his unintentional reaction to Gory mentioning Keith, and Gory must have noticed it because his lips curled up into an even bigger sneer. "Oh yes... _poor_ , _dead_ Keith Mars... you're surprised I know about that? Well when you cross one Russian family, you need to know who their allies are if you don't take down the entire family. The Sukarenkos were more than grateful when Yelena and I connected the dots for them regarding how Yevgeni and Sergei were arrested and sentenced to all those years in prison. Hit and runs are pretty easy to have orchestrated in Neptune when you have the right connections." Gory paused for a moment as he looked thoughtfully at Logan. "Yeah, I think I'll be sure to mention to Blondie that I was responsible for her dad dying; I'm sure that will make her fight me even more and make it an even better fuck than you got."

Logan had been angry many times in his life, but the amount of rage flowing through him at that moment paled in comparison to anything he’d ever felt before. He would die before he let anything happen to Veronica. He figured that if he moved quickly, even if Gory got a shot off, he'd hopefully have enough adrenaline and momentum to turn the gun on Gory and take him down with him. He'd gladly make that sacrifice for her even after all these years of being apart. She was still the only person he'd truly loved with all his heart and he couldn't die without trying to do something to save her. Logan took a deep breath and lunged as quickly as he could at Gory. _Everybody dies some day._

\------------------------------------------------

Veronica was sitting out on the balcony of her apartment watching the ocean in the dim light of the moon when her cell phone rang. She slowly pulled it out of her pocket, and when she saw Logan's name on the display, she sat the phone on the table and went back to watching the waves.

She was still too pissed about how he'd acted at the airport to talk to him now. She hoped he'd jumped on a plane back to San Francisco and far away from her. Either there wasn't another flight available yet, or he had decided not to go back tonight since he couldn't have made it all the way back there already. She waited a minute to see if he dared to leave a message, and when a little over a minute went by without a message notification, she grabbed the phone and shoved it back in her pocket. The fact that he hadn't even bothered to leave her at least a quick apology made her even more upset with him. She had always hated that irrational, angry side of Logan. That had certainly been a large contributing factor for why they had broken up before senior year of high school. Although she had to admit that a part of her could understand why he'd be feeling angry and hurt right now. His seemingly perfect relationship with Hannah had more or less just crumbled right before his eyes. Not to mention how Veronica herself had acted toward him as well.

She felt terrible about her momentary lack of judgment that day at his house. Even if she did still have unresolved feelings for Logan, throwing aside all rational thoughts and having sex with him was the worst possible thing she could have done. It had not only hurt him, but she had hurt Troy as well. She still felt so guilty over betraying Troy like that when he'd practically begged her not to take the case because he was afraid something was going to happen. And now Troy was on the other side of the country, likely burying himself in an assignment, so he wouldn't have to deal with what happened between them. _Maybe I should fly out there and try to fix things with him. He loved me so much and I hurt him so badly._ Even though he’d only been gone for a few days, she was already starting to feel an uneasy void from his absence. Troy had been a constant in her life for the last year and she was starting to miss that. She hadn’t even realized how much she’d come to depend on him until he wasn’t there for her anymore. She knew that she still had Mac and Wallace, but Wallace was working in Seattle and Mac was busy with Max and the baby. Troy really had become the main person in her life. With Logan’s case being closed, she could put her other cases on hold for a few days while she flew out to try to fix things with Troy. _But what if it’s too soon? What if he needs more time before he’s ready to forgive me? And can I honestly say that I don’t still have feelings for Logan too?_ She knew that even though she was currently angry at Logan, it didn’t erase all of the other feelings that she had been struggling with over the past few days.

Veronica was surprised when her phone beeped in her pocket, notifying her of a voice mail message. It had to have been at least five minutes since Logan had called, and she couldn't image what sort of message he could have left that would be that long. She debated about whether to listen to it then or not. If he'd kept drinking at the airport after she left, it could be another long drunken rant like he'd left her all those years before. She stared at the phone for a few minutes before finally giving in to her curiosity and punching in her code. She heard Logan say 'what the hell are you doing here', but his voice wasn't very loud. Terror immediately coursed through her entire body as she heard what had to have been Gory saying he was there fucking Logan's wife while he waited for him. It was even harder to hear Gory through her phone, especially sitting out on the balcony with the ocean noise in the background, so Veronica quickly walked back inside and closed the sliding glass door behind her.

She got the door closed just in time to hear Gory's threatening reminder that Logan was going to die one day and then heard him mention a gun. _Fuck!_ She stood there frozen with fear, not really sure what she should do. The message had to have started over five minutes before when Logan had first called. She continued to listen and quickly realized that Gory must have bugged Logan as well based on the comment she'd just heard. She also couldn't help but wonder then whether Gory had set up the meeting with Hannah so that Veronica would get the pictures. He had made it so easy for her with the location of the room and leaving the curtains open. She hadn't even stopped to consider that he'd done that intentionally. The amount of panic and fear she was feeling only increased as she listened to Gory share his plan to get himself off for killing Logan. Veronica felt tears starting to stream down her face as all she could do was stand there and helplessly listen. Veronica tried telling herself that Logan would figure out how to get away. That he'd be okay. But then she heard Gory make a threat against her and could only imagine what impact that might have on Logan, especially as she heard the tone of his voice as he warned Gory to stay away from her.

Veronica started to move toward the counter where she'd put her purse and her keys. Maybe if she hurried over there, Gory wouldn't have shot him yet and she could do something to stop him. She was about to grab for her keys when she heard Gory say her dad's name. She could barely breath as she listened to Gory's admission that he'd been responsible for Keith's death. _No, no, no!_ She closed her eyes, which did little to stop the tears that were pouring down her cheeks. She thought she heard maybe Hannah's voice for a second, but couldn't really make it out, although there was some other background noise at the same time. The next sound was clearly a gunshot, followed by Hannah's blood curdling scream. And then the line went dead.

**_A/N - On the plus side, at least you won’t have to wait weeks to find out what happened! I loved all the guesses on who the mystery man might be. I know several people had guessed Gory at the very beginning, although I’m not sure anyone suspected he was doing it to get his revenge on Logan. Some of the random ones I really loved were Norman Phipps and Sean Friedrich - thanks Notaparkerfan for those! I don’t think I’ve ever come across a story with Norman in it, so that would have been great if there wasn’t a much darker motive for this. I had wondered if people might think of Liam or Chardo too, and they were mentioned once or twice as well. I’m guessing you all won’t need much encouragement to let me know what you thought of this chapter. Thanks for reading!!_ **


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you to everyone who is reading this story! I know it was quite a departure from what I normally write, but I hope most of you still enjoyed it. One more regular chapter after this and then I’ll write up an epilogue hopefully soon too.
> 
> As always, thanks to Bondopoulos for doing her beta magic on this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

Veronica was practically hyperventilating as she dialed 911. When the operator came on the line, she quickly told her that she wanted to report a shooting and rambled off Logan's address.

"We already have units dispatched en route  to that address," the woman explained calmly. "Are you there? Have you been injured?"

"No," Veronica softly whispered. "I just heard the shot," she clarified before ending the call.

She knew it was likely pointless, but she dialed Logan's number anyway. As she expected, the call went straight to voicemail. She couldn't just stay there waiting to find out what had happened, though, so she grabbed her purse and keys and ran out the door.

Veronica kept repeating the same phrase: ' _ please let him be alive _ ’ over and over in her head while she drove as quickly as she dared to Logan's house. She had tried to stop crying before she started to drive, but she hadn’t been very successful. The full ramification of what she'd heard Gory say was slowly beginning to sink in. She'd tried so hard to find the person responsible for killing her dad, but she'd never been able to find any connections to any of the cases that Keith had been working on when he’d died. Bringing both the Sukarenkos and the Sorokins into their lives had been her fault. She'd taken Yelena's case and she'd also been the one to get tangled up with Gory. It was all her fault that her dad was dead, and now maybe Logan was too.

When she reached the condo there were several police cruisers out front with their lights on. She parked along the curb and then quickly made her way toward the house. She’d been able to regain some level of composure by that point, but it was tenuous at best. A deputy she recognized came  out the open front door just as she reached it. Deputy Johnson, or Thompson, she couldn't really remember exactly, but she knew Troy had used him as a source from time to time for his articles and that he’d likely know her as well.

"Sorry, Veronica," the deputy said with a stern look. "This is a crime scene. You can't come in."

Veronica quickly realized that another deputy was following him and that one was trying to help a sobbing Hannah out the front door. Veronica stepped to the side to let them by, and, probably due to the mention of Veronica’s name, Hannah glanced up at her.

"This is all your fault," Hannah cried loudly as realization seemed to dawn on her. "He's  _ dead  _ because of  _ you _ ." Veronica noticed some blood on Hannah’s hands and clothing, and she felt paralyzing fear course through her again.

"Please calm down, Mrs. Echolls," the other deputy said compassionately as he continued to guide Hannah out the door. Hannah continued sobbing as she walked with the deputy toward one of the squad cars and climbed in when he opened the door for her.

"Who's dead?" Veronica couldn't help but scream at the other deputy who was still by the door.

"You know we can't just release names like that, Veronica," the deputy answered as he gave her a concerned look. He remained in the doorway, using his body as a blockade so that she wouldn't be able to enter.

"You don't understand—" Veronica started to protest. She stopped short when she realized Vinny was coming up behind the deputy.

Vinnie looked at her solemnly as he walked out past the other deputy and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Come on," he said softly as he started to guide Veronica back away from the house.

"No," she said as she shook her head and tears started rolling down her cheeks again.  _ He can’t be dead. He can’t. _ "No!" she said louder as she shook off his arm and backed away from him.

"Veronica, please come with me," Vinnie tried again with a more compassionate tone. "There's nothing you can do in there," he added as he gestured slowly with his head toward the house.

She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath, trying to regain some sort of composure to argue more with him, even if it was pointless now.

"He's not here," Vinnie said quietly. She could now tell that he was actually trying to help her. She quickly opened her eyes and stared at him. "He's already been taken away," Vinnie continued as he put his arm around her shoulders again. This time she let him guide her off the porch.

"Was he... dead?" Veronica asked softly when they reached one of the squad cars parked in front of the house, although based on Hannah’s comment, she wasn’t sure why she even asked.

"Well... someone’s dead..." Vinnie replied with a bit of confusion in his tone and expression.

"Logan... was  _ Logan  _ dead?" Veronica interrupted loudly, feeling even more frustrated now. "Gory shot him," she cried, her voice breaking slightly.

Vinnie shook his head with a puzzled look on his face. "No... Logan killed Gory... we took him down to the station... he's under arrest. I know he claims it was self-defense, but seeing the photo on the counter, I'm not really so sure about that."

Veronica let out a relieved breath. "Oh, thank God," she gasped and then quickly remembered the voice message. "It was self-defense. I have a voicemail recording of what happened," she continued to explain. Vinnie raised an eyebrow inquisitively at her. She suddenly felt the relief that Logan was alive be quickly replaced by grief. "And Gory also admitted to being responsible for my dad's death," she told Vinnie as she felt the tears well up in her eyes again.

“What?” Vinnie asked as a darkness crept over his expression.

“Gory… he arranged the hit and run that killed my dad,” Veronica choked out as she started to sob. “My dad is dead because of him… because of  _ me _ .” 

"Oh, Veronica," Vinnie said quietly as he wrapped an arm around her and gently patted her back.

\------------------------------------------------

Given how upset Veronica had been, Vinnie had insisted that she ride with him to the station rather than drive her own car. He wanted to get a copy of the voicemail message as well as her statement for the case. Knowing that Logan was alive at least took that worry off her mind, leaving her more time to think about the haunting realization that Gory had been responsible for her dad's death. She had never even considered Gory or the Sukarenkos as potential suspects when she was investigating the hit and run case. She had always thought that finding the truth would help her get closure, but at this point, it only made her feel even worse knowing that she was responsible for bringing them into their lives.

Since Logan was in one interrogation room and Hannah was in another, Vinnie asked Veronica to wait in his office until he was ready to talk to her. As Veronica walked by the room that Logan was in, she saw him for a brief second. His elbows were on the table and his hands were gripping the top of his head. It looked like his eyes may have been closed, or he was just staring at the top of the table, she couldn't really be sure.

_ There aren't any coincidences in Neptune _ . She was certain now that Gory had gone after Hannah just to get to Logan. And Veronica knew that she was the only reason Gory had went after Logan at all. So now Logan was in custody again... being accused of murder  _ again _ , because of her. His wife had been used as a pawn against him by a sick egomaniac holding a five-year-old grudge. She still couldn't believe that Gory had done all of this, especially after all this time. If Logan didn't hate her before, he certainly had to hate her now. He never would have crossed paths with Gory if it weren’t for Veronica. It gutted her to think about how many of the horrible fucked-up things in Logan’s life had been all her fault. How many times she’d been responsible for nearly destroying him? She’d tried to never imagine what would have happened that night on the bridge all those years ago if Weevil and his gang hadn’t shown up, but deep down she had always known the only reason Logan was there that night was because she’d betrayed his trust in her. Her accusing him of murdering Lilly seemed almost insignificant now compared to what Logan was currently facing. All because of her. 

\------------------------------------------------

Gory’s confession that he’d been responsible for Keith’s death kept repeating through Logan’s head the entire way to the station. _Keith’s death was all my fault._ _How am I ever going to tell Veronica that? If I had only listened to her that day in the cafeteria Gory would never have gone after Keith. Nothing Veronica did to him would have caused any of this to happen. This is all my fault._ Logan stared down at the table as he gripped his head and felt a few more tears roll down his cheeks before they hit the top of the table. ... _this is something I’m never getting over._ He knew there was no way in hell she was ever going to be able to forgive him once she found out. It didn’t matter that the only other person who knew the truth was now dead, he still owed it to her to tell her the truth, regardless of the consequences. At least he’d be able to give her closure about what had happened to Keith...and somewhere to place her blame: _him_. 

Logan glanced up as the door opened. He tried to subtly wipe at his face to ensure there weren’t any lingering tears as Cliff gave him a grim smile. It was certainly a departure from the snarky smirks he’d often seen on Cliff’s face before, but he also knew how dire the situation was this time.  _ I’d always been innocent before, even if I was being framed; but this time, not so much. How likely is it that anyone will believe it was self-defence? _ Logan knew all too well that Gory’s fabricated story certainly would have worked and would likely also make it hard to prove his own innocence. Of course Hannah should have been able to see what happened, but based on her initial reaction at the house, he wasn’t sure if she’d stand by him or not. 

Cliff let out a deep sigh while he took the seat across the table from Logan. “Sounds like you’ve had one hell of a night, kid,” he said solemnly as he set his briefcase on the table. 

“You have no idea,” Logan replied despondently and shook his head slightly. 

“Well, I guess I don’t have to ask if you did it,” Cliff continued with a somber look. Logan exhaled loudly and nodded. “At least it sounds like we won’t have to rely only on my sub-par lawyering skills for this one.”

Logan gave him a puzzled look, not sure what that meant. Cliff smiled a bit more before he continued. “Veronica told Van Lowe that she has most of what happened between you and the deceased on a voicemail message, and the recording can prove that it was self-defense.”

Logan’s heart sunk.  _ She already knows… knows that it’s all my fault her dad is dead. _

\------------------------------------------------

Vinnie had apparently decided to take Hannah's statement first, because Veronica saw her leaving the station with a deputy before Vinnie appeared in the doorway and asked Veronica to join him in the interrogation room. As she walked by the room that Logan was still in, she noticed that Cliff was in the room talking to him this time. Logan happened to glance in her direction and she could easily see how devastated he looked. He looked back at Cliff almost instantly, as if he wasn't even willing to acknowledge her presence. His reaction was like a dagger to her heart, even if she could understand why he'd want to avoid her. Given everything that had happened, Veronica was certain now that she was the last person he wanted to see.

Vinnie had of course insisted on listening to the voicemail message once they were in the interrogation room. She couldn't bear to listen to it again, so she punched in her code and handed him the phone instead of putting it on speaker for him. She knew that even if Vinnie and her dad had been rivals at times, Vinnie had still been upset when Keith had died. The furious look on his face as he listened to the end of the message made Veronica ache all over again. She'd hoped that it would be easier to not hear it, but that didn't really matter now that she knew the truth. It took a while for Vinnie to take her full statement, including information about the work she had been doing that resulted in the picture that Vinnie had found at Logan's house. She knew it was pointless to deny that she had been the one to take it, given that Vinnie knew her work all too well. She did try to leave out anything that could potentially lead to Vinnie doubting Logan's innocence. This was, after all, still Neptune, where innocent people could be convicted and guilty ones set free. And as she somewhat expected, even with the voicemail message, Vinnie was still being a pain in the ass. He told her that he didn’t plan on dropping any charges until the DA weighed in on the case.

By the time Vinnie said that Veronica was free to go, she noticed that Logan was no longer in the interrogation room next to hers. She wondered if he'd been released or sent back to a holding cell. She was debating about how to get back to her car when she ran into Cliff in the outer hall.

"I'm so sorry, kiddo," Cliff told her, his deep baritone voice sounding even more solemn than usual. Veronica gave him a broken look and nodded in understanding as a stray tear rolled down her cheek. Gory's confession had opened up all those wounds that she thought had finally been closed. Losing her dad had been so painful and taken her so long to come to terms with. Cliff reached out and squeezed her shoulder as he looked gravely at her. "And thanks... for providing your assistance with my client's case."

Veronica swallowed and looked at him nervously. "How is he?"

Cliff shrugged. "You know... he's Logan Echolls... not the first time he's been accused of murder…  although it’s the first time I guess he's actually killed someone."

Veronica grimaced, unable to even imagine how that must have felt for Logan. It was a miracle he was alive at least. Even if it came at the expense of killing Gory, she was still thankful that Logan hadn’t ended up dead. "Did they not drop the charges yet?" she asked, almost able to guess the answer already.

Cliff shook his head. "No. But hopefully by tomorrow we'll get it all sorted out. I haven't heard your recording yet, but based on what Logan told me, if the recording picked up all of that, well then it should make my job a lot easier." He seemed to pause to think for a few seconds before he continued again. “Although given who he just killed, he may be safer in jail once the news gets out,” Cliff added somberly.

Veronica hadn't even stopped to consider how much additional danger Logan could be in for killing a member of a Russian mob family. She suddenly felt almost as much anxiety as she had when she first realized Gory was pointing a gun at Logan. Cliff gave her an apologetic look since he must have realized the impact of his comment. She hated that, even now, Logan wasn’t really out of danger. And yet again, this was all her fault.

\------------------------------------------------ 

It was a week after the shooting when Cliff unexpectedly showed up at MI. Veronica hadn't heard anything from Logan, though she had been able to find out that he'd been released from custody the day after the shooting. She really had been at a loss as to whether she should reach out to him. After the way he’d reacted when he saw her at the sheriff’s office the night of the shooting, she was pretty sure he wouldn’t want to hear from her. And the fact that he hadn’t reached out to her had only solidified that belief in her mind.

"Cliffy," Veronica greeted him with a suspicious look on her face. "What brings you by?"

Cliff gave her a grim smile as he pulled out an envelope from inside his suit jacket. He let out a loud sigh before he spoke and held the envelope out toward her. "My client asked me to give you this," he explained as he waited for her to take it.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat as she reached out to take it from him. Cliff didn't need to say who the client was for her to know. "Why didn't he deliver it himself?" she asked faintly, not sure she really wanted to hear the answer.

Cliff let out another loud sigh. "He left town... He was actually offered witness protection..." Cliff told her with a grim look on his face. Veronica could feel the panic building in the bottom of her stomach with that news.   _ Witness protection? And he couldn't even stand to see me one last time before he disappeared forever? _ "Of course, being the rich pain in the ass he always is, he declined," Cliff continued. "Said he'd take his chances and disappear on his own instead."

"So you don't know where he went?" Veronica asked as she stared down at the envelope in her hand for a second.

Cliff shook his head when she looked back up at him. "Just said something about going to the only place he was ever really happy," he replied thoughtfully. "But I have no idea where that is."

Veronica could certainly imagine one place, but after everything that had happened, she doubted someplace he'd been with her would still qualify for that description. She didn't miss the irony though that if he had gone there, he'd be almost the same distance away from her now as Troy was. Cliff gave her a curt nod before he turned and headed back out the door.

Veronica took a deep breath and carefully opened the envelope. There was a blank check made out to Mars Investigations and a small folded up piece of paper. She bit on her lower lip and then opened the letter.

_ Veronica - I know this is a shitty way to say goodbye, but it hurt way too badly in the past to do again in person. I truly am sorry for everything that I ever did that hurt you. After everything that you’ve been through, I hope you're able to work things out with Troy and find the happiness that you deserve. - L _

\------------------------------------------------

Veronica stood there staring at the door in front of her while she tried to work up the nerve to knock.  _ You've come over two thousand miles, it's too late to back out now. _ She finally took a deep breath and rapped her knuckles against the wood surface. Every second that went by seemed more like an eternity to her as she waited for the door to open. She hoped that he wouldn't slam it in her face when he realized who was there. Anxiety coursed through her as she heard the door finally being unlocked and she unconsciously held her breath waiting for it to open.

The look on his face was definitely one of surprise mixed with uncertainty. She couldn't really blame him for that though. He undoubtedly hadn’t expected her to just show up on his doorstep. She wasn't even sure that they could fix everything that had been broken, but she had finally realized she couldn't forgive herself if she didn't at least try because he meant more to her than she had ever been willing to admit before. 

She took a deep breath and then finally spoke. "I love you and I should never have let you go," she admitted regretfully. She could barely breath as she stood there waiting for some sort of reaction from him. "Please say something," she finally pleaded after what seemed like an excruciating amount of time of him just standing there staring at her.

She felt her heart race as he took a step forward and pressed his mouth against hers. His hands came up to cup her cheeks reverently as he continued to kiss her. She wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay now. That they were going to be okay now. At least in this moment in time she decided to just let herself believe that… to not question his reaction and just enjoy the feel of his lips on hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lifted up on her toes so she could deepen the kiss. He removed his hands from her cheeks, moving them to her waist so he could pull her inside. He fumbled with his body and one arm to get the door closed as they continued to kiss. Once the door clicked shut, he bent down slightly so he could scoop her up and then he carried her across the room to where the sofa was. As he sat her down, he finally pulled his mouth away from hers, looking intently into her eyes. "I still love you too," he finally answered, causing Veronica to exhale in relief.  She pulled his head back to hers and then captured his lips again. There was so much they should probably discuss, but she didn't want to talk now and was relieved that he didn't seem to need that right now either. She hoped he wouldn't change his mind and stop her, but based on how urgently he was kissing her back, she was optimistic that he wouldn't. They could work out apologies and details later, right now she just needed this... needed him... so badly.

She thought about suggesting that they move into the bedroom, but was too overwhelmed by her emotions to even do that. So instead, she tugged at the edge of his shirt, coaxing him to help her pull it off. He didn't object and as it slipped over his head, she took the opportunity to place soft kisses along his chest, resting her hand where she could feel his heart beating rapidly under her fingertips. She removed her hand and placed a slow tender kiss there before looking lovingly up at him. She started placing kisses up his neck and along his jawline until she reached his lips again. His breathing had become noticeably more labored and his kisses a bit more ravenous the longer they kissed. She pushed gently on his chest, breaking them apart just long enough for her to remove her own shirt. His head ducked down and he left kisses along her neck, and then across her collarbone, coming up the other side before returning to her lips.

"I've missed you so much," he whispered against her lips between kisses. She felt tears starting to well up slightly in her eyes, knowing just how much she'd missed him as well.

"Me too," she whispered back with a slight nod and tender smile. She slowly reached down to undo the button of his pants, needing even more of him. They somehow managed to continue kissing as they both shed the rest of their clothes. The look he had on his face before sliding into her made her chest tighten with raw emotion. She couldn't help the few tears that fell from her eyes but gave him a reassuring smile so he wouldn’t worry.

When they’d both finally found their release, he nuzzled his nose against her neck and placed tender kisses on her warm skin as she lazily ran her fingers through his hair. He shifted to lie next to her on the couch so he wouldn’t crush her, but his arms were still wrapped snuggly around her. After traveling all day and dealing with everything that had happened to her recently, she was both physically and emotionally drained. She felt herself start to fade quickly but placed one final kiss on his temple before she whispered ‘I love you’ and then finally let herself fall to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to everyone who stuck with me through the ups and downs of this story! It was definitely a change of pace for me and I hope most of you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I do hope to still do an epilogue at some point, but I have other things going on at the moment, so I decided to just mark this complete for now since I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get to that. 
> 
> As always, thanks to Bondopoulos for all her support and all of the time that she devoted to editing it for me. 
> 
> Disclaimer: All VM characters belong to Rob Thomas.

When Veronica woke up, she felt strong arms still wrapped around her and a face pressed up against her neck. She really had been exhausted from traveling, and if he’d slipped away while she had been sleeping, she wasn’t really sure she would have noticed. She pulled her arm that had fallen to her side up and tangled her fingers into his hair, scraping her nails lightly along his scalp. She expected his reaction to be kisses to her neck or collarbone if he was awake, but instead he buried his head a bit deeper against the space between her shoulder and her neck and she could feel the muscles in his arms tense up around her waist.

She wiggled and scooted over slightly so she could see his face. Instead of the smile she had hoped for, she saw furrowed brows and a slight frown. She moved her hand so she could lightly trace her fingers over his eyebrow. “What’s wrong?” she asked, hoping it wasn’t going to be some insurmountable issue or him regretting what they had just done before she fell asleep.

He let out a slow sigh and bit on his lip for a second before he answered. She gave him an encouraging look, hoping he would share whatever it was he was concerned about. After a few seconds pause, he finally spoke. “Can you blame me for worrying about what’s going to happen next? I thought you might change your mind about what you said earlier... and then leave.”

She smiled lovingly at him and shook her head slightly. “No… I meant it… and I’m not taking it back now.” She paused and moved her fingers down to trace over his lips. “I love you… Logan Echolls, always have and always will...”

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers before she could say another word. It felt like he was trying to pour his soul into the kiss. When their mouths parted he still seemed to have a hesitant look on his face, but at least the frown was gone. He reached up and brushed his fingers across her cheek. “I still love you too, but I thought… I don’t know how you can love me after everything that happened… everything that was _my_ fault. _Everything_ that Gory did...”

She gave him a puzzled look. _Oh god, he thought everything was his fault? Is that why he left? Is that why he wouldn’t talk to me after the shooting?_ “What Gory did wasn’t your fault, Logan,” she replied reassuringly, feeling terrible that he may have actually thought that it had been.

“Yes, it _was_ , Veronica,” he countered with a broken look forming on his face. “It’s _all_ my fault. If I hadn’t… If I hadn’t attacked Gory in the cafeteria… your dad...” She saw him swallow hard. It was obvious by how grief-stricken he looked that he really did believe that her dad’s death was all his fault.

“It’s not your fault that my dad is gone, Logan,” she replied quickly as she pressed her palm against his cheek. She instantly felt her chest tighten, not only because of the mention of her dad’s death, but also because Logan had been blaming himself for it. _Was that why he couldn’t look at me at the sheriff's office? Is that why he left without talking to me?_ “There was more to that than you know… I’m so sorry I didn’t make you talk to me before you left… I thought you hated _me_ for ruining _your_ life. I thought that’s why you didn’t want to see me.”

Logan shook his head as he gave her a confused look. “I could never hate you, Veronica. But I thought… Gory never would have done any of that if I hadn’t attacked him. I don’t see how you can’t blame me for everything that’s happened.”

“Because it wasn’t your fault, Logan, but I think Gory wanted to make us _both_ pay for crossing him,” she replied remorsefully. She hoped that explaining more would maybe help reduce the anguish that she could still see in Logan’s eyes. “There was another case... our junior year of high school that involved another Russian mob family that I inadvertently dragged my dad into… the other names Gory mentioned that night… that’s who he was talking about. I wish you’d known there was more to it so you hadn’t been beating yourself up about it this whole time. I don’t blame you for anything that Gory did, Logan. I promise.” She paused and gave him a forlorn look. “If anything, I blame myself.” She noticed that his brows had furrowed again. She took a deep breath and continued. “But I know blaming myself can’t bring my dad back… and it can’t fix what happened between you and me, which is why I’m here. I want to fix that, Logan, while we still have a chance to. At least I hope we do.”

His lips slowly turned up into a small smile. “I’d like to fix that too. I still can’t believe that you’re actually here.”

Veronica smiled lovingly in reply and nodded. “I wasn’t positive I was going to find you here, but I’m so glad that I did. I thought after everything that had happened years ago that… well, that you would have sold this place if it reminded you of me.”

Logan chuckled slightly and bit on his lip again. “Well _technically…_ this place is still yours. I um… I never got around to having Morty change the deed. My financial guy has been taking care of everything related to it… but _legally_ it still belongs to you.”

Veronica raised her eyebrows in surprise, but then couldn’t help teasing him a little. “Wait… so technically you’re _trespassing_?”

Logan laughed softly and nodded. “Yeah… I guess I am.”

“Well, I’ll let it slide… this time, Echolls,” Veronica replied with a smirk. “But I’m thinking you need to make some kind of amends for it.”

He nodded in agreement and she finally saw a little bit more hope in his eyes. “Anything… you name it.”

“Food!” she replied loudly with a mischievous grin. “I’m starving!”

An amused look formed on Logan’s face before he leaned in to kiss her again. “Why am I not surprised.”

\-------------------------------

After he’d had made them some lunch, Veronica took Logan by the hand and pulled him out to the hammock on the patio. She pushed him slightly so he’d sit on it first, and once he was steady, she climbed on and snuggled up against him. He wrapped his arms around her and placed a slow tender kiss on her temple. He still couldn’t believe that she was actually here with him. That she’d flown all this way to find him, not even knowing for sure that he’d be here. He was so terrified that she was going to regret what had happened when she first arrived after she woke up. He probably shouldn’t have let things go that far… _again…_ but when she said she loved him, there was no way he was going to be able to not do whatever she wanted. He’d missed hearing her say that for so long. While she’d always been reluctant to say it when they first dated, after Keith died and they’d gotten together again, it had been different. She’d told him then that after losing her dad, making sure Logan knew how she really felt about him was more important and her reluctance to say it seemed to disappear. And during the months when things were really good between them, he believed she’d really meant it; which only made it hurt so much more when everything fell apart between them.   

After lying across his chest for a few minutes, Veronica shifted in the hammock to his side so it was easier for them to look at each other. She reached out and threaded her fingers through his when his hand landed on his stomach with her back now out of his reach. Even though it had been years since they’d been there together, it was as if their bodies still fit perfectly together in the hammock and remembered exactly how to effortlessly reposition without causing anyone to fall out of it. Logan couldn’t help but smile for a second, remembering some of the ill-fated attempts they’d had when they had first tried using it.

“I still can’t believe that you’re actually here,” he told her again as he looked at her in amazement. He was half afraid that he was going to wake up and find this was all a cruel hallucination. She of course had constantly been on his mind since he arrived, and while it was painful to be here without her, at least this was one place that they didn’t have any bad memories for him to think about.

She smiled in reply and then let out a soft sigh. “I can’t tell you how good it is to be able to see you and touch you—to know with certainty that you’re really okay and alive,” she admitted quietly. “I was so terrified when I first heard that message, Logan. I’ve had terrible nightmares ever since that night about you not actually making it out alive.” The smile that had been on her face a second before had faded and a pained expression had replaced it. Logan could easily tell how scared she must have been seeing the look on her face now just thinking back to that night. “You have no idea how relieved I was when Vinnie told me Gory hadn’t killed you. When I heard the shot through the phone, I was certain I’d lost you forever.”

Logan exhaled loudly and nodded. “Yeah… I really thought that was going to be the end for me too, but there was no way in hell that I wasn’t going to try to stop him to save you,” he admitted, feeling a little anxious about it now that he’d said it out loud. He could tell by her reaction that she was more than touched by that, though.

“How did… um… how did Hannah deal with everything?” Veronica asked hesitantly after a few moments of silence.

Logan looked nervously up at the patio roof before he answered. He had assumed Hannah would likely come up at some point once he had wrapped his head around Veronica actually being there with him.

“She seemed pretty upset the night of the shooting,” Veronica prompted softly when he hadn’t said anything after a few moments.

Logan nodded his head and turned so he could see her again. “Yeah… she was a mess. I didn’t actually tell her that she was probably the reason that I lived and Gory died though. I’m not sure if she realized it. With how ugly everything had gotten… I didn’t feel like making her feel even worse… or better… I don’t honestly know how she would have felt about that.” Veronica scrunched her face up, obviously a little confused by the comment. Logan decided he’d better elaborate a bit more. “Right at the moment I decided to lunge at Gory was when she walked into the kitchen, and it was just enough of a distraction that I could get my hand on the gun. When Gory pulled the trigger, the bullet hit him instead of me.”

“Did she know… who he was?” Veronica asked next. Logan could tell she wasn’t sure how much she should ask and how much he would want to talk about it based on her hesitancy. But there wasn’t any question he wouldn’t answer if she asked it.

Logan shook his head. “No… he’d given her a fake name. I guess he’d even set up some fake company and hired her to do web design work for him. That’s how he got close to her. He was going by the name Greg Solomon. She had no idea he was part of a dangerous mob family.”

Veronica grimaced slightly at the mention of Gory’s family, and Logan could easily guess why. He’d actually been trying not to think much about that, but ever since the initial shock of Veronica being here with him wore off, that was one thing he kept thinking more about.

“It’s got to be difficult for her—finding all of that out about the father of her baby,” Veronica commented as she grimaced slightly.

Logan nodded and looked up at the ceiling again as he took another deep breath. “Yeah… she um… she honestly didn’t know if it was my baby or his,” he continued in a more somber tone. “She um… she really tried to get me to stay… to work things out with her and help her raise the baby.” Logan paused for a moment and took another deep breath. He was having a harder time than he expected telling Veronica this because he didn’t want her to be disappointed in him. When Keith had died, Veronica had told him about them not being positive Keith was her dad until they confirmed it with a DNA test. Veronica had tearfully shared back then how, even if Keith had suspected it when she was younger, he’d never let that change the way he loved her. Logan had felt so guilty about not being able to be like that when he knew Hannah’s baby wasn’t his. That was what had caused him to be a jackass the day she came to his condo and directly asked him about it. He’d felt like he would be a failure in Veronica’s eyes if he couldn’t be a father to a child that wasn’t his after the way Keith had loved her unconditionally. Keith had to have felt betrayed by what Lianne had done, yet that never came into question when it came for Keith’s love for Veronica. “I couldn’t do it, though…” he admitted feeling ashamed that he wouldn’t measure up to Veronica’s expectations.

Veronica untangled her fingers from his and reached up and put her hand on his cheek, causing him to turn back toward her. “Hey,” she said softly as she studied his face, obviously knowing there was more to it by his reaction. “Did I say something…” She paused and looked as if she was piecing it together. “This isn’t the same as what happened with my dad and me, Logan, if that’s what you’re thinking. You shouldn’t feel guilty about not wanting to help raise Gory’s baby. And it’s understandable that you wouldn’t want to try to work things out with Hannah.” She paused and furrowed her brows a bit more. “Or did I just misread everything and you do want to try to work things out with Hannah?”

Logan quickly shook his head before he replied. “No… I don’t want to fix things with Hannah. After everything that happened, any doubt I may have had about whether I loved her enough to try to work things out is clear now. I know for certain that I don’t. I know it’s terrible that I married her when I didn’t love her that much, but I was just so lost after you and I broke up the last time…” He paused and ran his hand through his hair as he turned and nervously looked up at the ceiling again. He took a deep breath and then continued on, wanting to be honest with her but also anxious over how she would react to everything he’d done. “I um… I had given up on you again… and of course that never leads to me making smart decisions…” His voice had gotten thick with emotion again thinking back to that time and he took a second to clear his throat. “I eventually started drinking and sleeping around again, trying to fill the void that seemed to be eating me alive. Luckily, for me... I guess... Dick was going through a nasty paternity case with a girl he’d drunkenly married in Vegas. I decided then that I didn’t want to accidently end up in the same boat, and I couldn’t imagine at that low point in my life ever finding someone I’d want to have kids with, so that’s when I got the procedure done.” He let out a deep sigh before he started again. “I ran into Hannah a couple months later, and, as terrible as it sounds now, I felt like I’d found a way to fill that void. Even if it wasn’t the person who I wanted to be with, I thought I could make it work.” He swallowed hard, still staring at the ceiling and afraid of how Veronica was likely looking at him now. He wasn’t really proud thinking back on some of the decisions he’d made. He definitely felt like he’d just taken the easiest route by agreeing to marry Hannah when she’d pushed him for that rather than dealing with whatever would have happened if he’d refused to go through with it.

Veronica reached up and turned his head back to face hers again. He was left speechless by the tender look on her face. “Well, that person’s here now,” she replied as she lightly stroked his cheek with her thumb.

He let out a relieved breath and nodded. “Yeah she is,” he said reverently before leaning in and kissing her softly. He’d tried to silence all the fears that had been bouncing through his thoughts ever since he opened the door and found her standing there, but he seemed to be failing at that. He moved his head away enough so he could see her clearly again. “Are you sure this is what you want, though?” he found himself asking before he could stop himself. “To try again with me? After all this time and everything that’s happened? I mean…” He paused before forcing himself to be completely honest with her. “I need to know that you aren’t going to just bail if things get tough again, because let’s face it… with us… it’s never easy.”

“I promise you I won’t and being with you is what I really want,” she replied confidently causing his heart to swell with relief. “I know we still have some issues to work through, but I meant what I said earlier. I want to do whatever it takes to fix things between us.”

Logan couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face, which caused her to smile even more in return. Unfortunately, his happiness was short-lived as the reality of his situation flashed through his mind again. _It’s never that easy, is it?_  His smile fell and he couldn’t keep the look of apprehension off of his face.

“What now?” Veronica asked as she looked at him expectedly.

“I can’t really go back, Veronica…not to Neptune… not for a while at least… not while the Sorokins may still be looking to get vengeance for Gory’s death. And while I’d be willing to risk my life to be there with you, I couldn’t live with myself if you were ever caught in the crossfire.” The memory of shattering glass falling over the two of them was still too vivid to let him fool himself into thinking she’d be safe from a mob family’s revenge.

Veronica gave him a grim look as she shifted so that she was lying on top of him again, resting her elbows on his chest so she could lift herself up slightly to look at him. His heart started to break once again, knowing what was coming and that he wouldn’t budge on this. She could convince him to do almost anything, but he wasn’t going to knowingly do something that would put her in danger. There was no way he would take the chance of risking her life if he went back with her. He loved her so much, which was why he couldn’t put her in that position. Even if it meant giving her up again.

“I know,” Veronica replied softly as she nodded slowly. “You’re safer here.” Logan furrowed his brows and let out a defeated sigh. He was absolutely devastated to have the chance to be with her again, but then to have to give that up to keep her safe. She reached up and ran her fingers over his furrowed eyebrow.

“Do you remember what you asked me, right here, on my birthday?” Veronica asked as she looked tenderly into his eyes.

He took a deep breath and nodded slowly, trying to keep himself from even thinking about what she could be insinuating because he didn’t want to let his heartbreak even more. If he didn’t hope for the impossible, then he wouldn’t be let down when it didn’t happen.

“What was it?” she continued as a smile ghosted across her lips.

“Can we just stay here in Costa Rica, forever?” he recited from memory, still trying not to let himself be crushed by whatever she was going to say.

“Yes,” she said as she nodded her head.

Logan still wasn’t willing to believe she meant what he wanted to think she did. “Yes, that’s what I asked you, or yes, we can stay here forever?” he asked somewhat skeptically.

Her smile grew more and she gave him a slightly admonishing look as she shook her head at him. “Yes… we can stay here forever,” she said as her eyes sparkled at him.

“Really?” he asked hesitantly in a low voice. She nodded in reply and kept watching him with an almost amused look on her face. “But your life… your friends… they’re in Neptune… your PI business.”

“We can make a new life here. And I’m sure Mac and Wallace would enjoy visiting Costa Rica from time to time. Wallace isn’t actually even in Neptune anymore, so flying here or flying there, really wouldn’t matter. And the PI work…” She paused and let out a deep breath as if she were bracing herself for what she wanted to say. “I’m not really sure it’s what I want to do anymore. Cheating spouses and insurance fraud; those are mostly the cases I end up with and I get so tired of seeing only the worst parts of human nature.” She bit on her lip for a moment and looked regretfully at him. “At first, I only started taking cases again so I could have some income while I worked on trying to figure out who was responsible for my dad’s death. And then, as time went by, I felt like I just didn’t really have another option. And I guess part of me felt like it was a way to keep some sort of connection to my dad.” She paused and looked at him more somberly. “But, I hate that I ruined what we had because I was so obsessed with finding the truth. And then in the end, I never even found out who was responsible… until now.” Logan swallowed hard, still having a hard time believing that Keith’s death wasn’t his fault. She must have noticed because she gave him a reassuring smile before she continued; her voice thick with emotion. “You have no idea how many times I wished I’d answered that question differently, Logan. But that was so much later and I knew you were already happily dating Hannah by then. I um…” She paused and bit on her lip for a second before she continued. “I saw you two once a couple months after Mac told me you two were dating again. I was doing surveillance for an insurance case and spotted the two of you together on the boardwalk. You looked genuinely happy, and after all we’d been through… I guess I gave up too.” She let out a frustrated sigh before she spoke again. “I tried not to let myself think about ‘ _what if’_ after that, but I still did from time to time. I convinced myself that Hannah was better for you, though. That she’d never hurt you the way I had. So I tried to tell myself that I didn’t love you anymore. I thought it would be better for both of us… but I was wrong.”

Logan was so overcome with emotion that all he could do was lean forward and kiss her. He felt her smile against his mouth each time their lips would momentarily separate, before one of them would kiss the other again. He loved her so much, and hearing that she actually did regret what had happened between them meant more to him than she could probably ever know.

“I take it that you’re happy with my answer this time?” Veronica finally asked with a soft laugh in her voice, causing him to laugh as he nodded and kissed her again. “Better late, than never, right?” she asked between his kisses.

“No one writes songs about the ones that come easy,” he replied as their heads finally separated enough so that he could smile lovingly up at her.

Veronica laughed softly and a rueful expression formed on her face. “Yeah... and we’ve had quite an _epic_ story so far, haven’t we?”

“Well, we’ve certainly covered the lives ruined and bloodshed portion thoroughly,” Logan replied with a grim expression. _Why the hell had I ever said that all those years ago?_

Veronica nodded, but then her expression shifted back to being filled with the love and passion that had been there a few moments before. It was almost as though he was looking back up at the same woman who’d been here with him all those years ago. By the way she was looking at him, he didn’t doubt for a second that she loved him just as much as he loved her. She gave him a tender smile before she finally spoke again, her voice just as full of emotion as he felt. “But in the end, all that matters is that we’re back here where we belong—together.”


End file.
